when do men not listen to their other halves...

Emmzi

Pssst wrote: »

OP.have you not read "The Surrendered wife" ?

It teaches women how to enrich their own lives and relationships by ceasing the females' natural instinct to control and manipulate her man as if he was her property and/or an accessory to her life.

or from a different viewpoint, pretend the 70s never happened, think Pankhurst was an idiot, not care about not having the vote, doormat yourself... roll on days of Gor!!

mark13

I dont think that is just a "man" thing. Woman also dont listen. The "natural instinct to control" mentioned above, I can see that now.

Pssst

Emmzi wrote: »

or from a different viewpoint, pretend the 70s never happened, think Pankhurst was an idiot, not care about not having the vote, doormat yourself... roll on days of Gor!!

See here...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surrendered_wife

Barneysmom

With the driving, if he's driving too fast with your child on board then you have to tell him. Otherwise let him get a ticket, don't worry about it.

You need to find out if he's trainable. Start with small things, like when you are doing the ironing or dusting ask him to make a cup of tea. If he does it straightawy then well done. If he does it but moans or takes more than 10 minutes, then you'll have to be a bit devious and take your time.

Emmzi

Pssst wrote: »

See here...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surrendered_wife

Uh huh.

I am familiar with the concept already and don't need a wiki link, thanks. Just because I do not agree does not mean I am ignorant or in need of further education.

I did reading after seeing the horrendous 'wife swap' with a surrendered wife, who put her husband's needs before her kids to the extent that the kid would have to wait for his tea after school until daddy had had his boink. Hoping this was one bad example I researched and found no, there was a whole philosophy built around this rubbish and loadsa of lazy or brain washed women.

I agree more with this review (link from same wiki page).

Dangerous b@@@ox IMHO. Which clearly doesn't count as much as a man's.

Deals_2

work for one but not another. i think everyone shoudl bring their own bread and butter on the table - even if minimum but pays at least HIS basics.

He felt threatened yesterday and as i was out he made a call and said he may have option for some work and i said he could carry on setting up his other business (if i felt he was very motivated and listened then i would have let him just go with the flow but this has been going on for far too long when i can see how straightforward it is to set up!!! when i offered help his answer was "you think you know it all"! well where i think i do then i dont see where the problem is...!

I am developing my own things but seeing this happen in front of me is very very difficult . i feel constantly warn out to concentrate on my own stuff most of the time. It's like it takes my energy away but am still working on it (not always easy to also keep my kid entertained as me who does everything!!)

Emmzi wrote: »

Uh huh.

I am familiar with the concept already and don't need a wiki link, thanks. Just because I do not agree does not mean I am ignorant or in need of further education.

I did reading after seeing the horrendous 'wife swap' with a surrendered wife, who put her husband's needs before her kids to the extent that the kid would have to wait for his tea after school until daddy had had his boink. Hoping this was one bad example I researched and found no, there was a whole philosophy built around this rubbish and loadsa of lazy or brain washed women.

I agree more with this review (link from same wiki page).

Dangerous b@@@ox IMHO. Which clearly doesn't count as much as a man's.

Pssst

Emmzi wrote: »

Uh huh.

I am familiar with the concept already and don't need a wiki link, thanks. Just because I do not agree does not mean I am ignorant or in need of further education.

I did reading after seeing the horrendous 'wife swap' with a surrendered wife, who put her husband's needs before her kids to the extent that the kid would have to wait for his tea after school until daddy had had his boink. Hoping this was one bad example I researched and found no, there was a whole philosophy built around this rubbish and loadsa of lazy or brain washed women.

I agree more with this review (link from same wiki page).

Dangerous b@@@ox IMHO. Which clearly doesn't count as much as a man's.

Emmzi,,

I did not for not minute think you were ignorant and i have read you link you provided here
http://www.equityfeminism.com/articles/2001/the-surrendered-wife-phenomena/

Of course the concept of the surrendered wife is extreme and awfully Americanised and if the entire concept were practiced,it would be ridiculous and demeaning.

No,what i suggest is that many women have an uncontrollable need to control and manage their man as if he were the family dog.

What they forget is that the man is an individual just as they are. They have a brain,intelligence,free will,initiative and freedom of thought,word and deed.

Women really must learn to stop trying to control their menfolk in this manner for if they dont, I guarantee that they will be poorer for it and so will their relationship.

A common instance- man wants to go somewhere,do something which doesnt include partner. Partner kicks up a fuss or otherwise expresses disapproval. Why? Because she seeks to control and/or doesnt trust. What right has she to apply that control? non whatsoever.

Emmzi

Pssst wrote: »

A common instance- man wants to go somewhere,do something which doesnt include partner. Partner kicks up a fuss or otherwise expresses disapproval. Why? Because she seeks to control and/or doesnt trust. What right has she to apply that control? non whatsoever.

I suspect it is time this went to discussion time. I am all for equality. But I have seen far, far more threads about women being controlled by men on these boards, than the other way round. I don't think we are there yet.

Deals_2

women i would agree. and all this thing about women not allowing men out what about men not allowing women out or at least no consideration for them????

Emmzi wrote: »

I suspect it is time this went to discussion time. I am all for equality. But I have seen far, far more threads about women being controlled by men on these boards, than the other way round. I don't think we are there yet.

Pee

I think looking at the way you communicate with your OH might be something to consider. You are obviously unhappy and you are trying to make things work with your child's father. You don't deserve to be unhappy, but good on you for trying.

If you tried not to nag him and praised him when he did things well, might this be a way forward?

Is he setting up a business rather than work a regular job?