Do you ever get embarrased by being broke?

Magnolia

barnaby-bear wrote: »

I'm not in debt and can afford this stuff but I'm mean really really stingy.

I am in the same boat as Barnaby Bear - He's stingy - I'm a good, careful Yorkshire lass Well to be honest I am not prepared to pay out premium prices for the low quality rubbish that is on sale in the canteen. I take my packup every day and although we have a kettle in the office I now work in I used to take a flask of 'ready made from home' as the machine coffee is disgusting

As for eating out!!! How many of us have sat through a meal and thought 'I could have cooked better at home for half this price and fed 6!'

I tell everyone that wants to know why I do what I do and if they don't like it then tough!

And don't get me started on school photos :mad:

As for drinks with the lads - this is a cop out - what about drinks with the lasses :rolleyes: When does the 'little lady' get her night out. Tell them you value their friendship and enjoy their company but you are going to spend some quality time with your family :cool:

For anyone else in the same situation and me and Barney - we do have meals out from work but only once or twice per year. We have only had this happen a couple of times when one of our colleagues isn't able to afford to come with us. There is a team of 4 of us who are older and kids all growed up and have a disposable income. We sponsor the colleague to be able to attend with us. It only usually costs us a tenner each so its not for lavish nights out. The sponsor (the only person who knows who is being sponsored) will collect the cash from the others and place it in an envelope. A printed sheet is stuck to this instructing the person being sponsored to take the money with good grace and not to discuss it with anyone. They are told that the sponsors do not know who they have sponsored. It will never need to be repaid to anyone the only stipulation is that when they find themselves in a more enviable position they 'pay it forward' and become one of the sponsors.

This works quite well as the person sponsored never feels in debt to anyone person but they do know their value - As a sponsor it sure makes you feel good that you have been able to give a little happiness to a treasured colleague - even if they don't know it was you.

Glen0000

barnaby-bear wrote: »

Are your mates single? Bit odd for a group of family men to be out having dinner and drinks - most people with families don't do this.

I find this comment a bit strange? Is it because most people with families dont have the money or because you think it is wrong to have a life outside your family?

My (all married) mates are out every weekend, as are my wifes. We just can't afford to join them!

As for the OP, I hate being broke. Makes me feel like a loser.

plzhelpmesave!

Think this thread is very timely! Me and Dh has a conversation last night about money and i was going on about a few of my friends who I don't see very often all live in the same (posh) area, go on holidays abroad with their kids and do all sorts of activities, have nice cars etc - and how we will always have to work and have nothing saved.

Then i thought how much i love him and the kids, that we're all happy and healthy and have a nice home and a good life. Compared that with my friends who have had a lot of marital problems, sick kids and i know that one of them has a hubby with massive debt problems and i realised who is better off.

I know how you feel OP and i'm sure lots of us feel the same way some times. But as someone else said, put it all into perspective and you'll be ok.

jamespir

ive been in lots of situations where its eambarrasing when you have to announce youve know money or you justa cant afford things

angelflower_2

yes i get embarrased. I get embarrased when people talk about their holidays and suggest I am not living a real life if i dont go on holiday (never been on holiday for more than 4 days in my life) I get embarrassed too that I cant go on works nights out (more so when they come back in on the Monday and they are all talking about the fun they had. It creates isolation and a feeling that I am not part of the team. I have to say this happened in my old work too but then I got into huge financial problems trying to keep up and def wont do that again!!

I get embarrassed for my dd when she goes to school with holes in her shoes or trousers that are too short for her.

I get embarrassed when my hair looks a mess cause roots are showing and I havent got enough in the budget for a dye kit

I get embarrassed having people over to my house because my bathroom needs done and my garden is a mess but I cant afford to tile/fix shower/get a skip for rubbish or buy/put up a new fence

I have to say though - even with all this. I am glad I am sorting things out and I would rather be a bit embarrassed rather than so stressed and financially crippled as I was before. Its a long slow and difficult process but I will not go back to the life I had before. Keep your chin up OP. All those clearing debt are with you!!

seroxat_chick

I've felt embarrassed at work this week as it seems to be the time of year for sponsoring people doing various charity races.

I sponsored one (I did feel under pressure), but I really can't afford to, and I turned the others down.

I feel the problem is made worse by those who claim to be "hard up", but quite clearly aren't, as they've just had their nails done etc :rolleyes:

DevonGirl

yes i get embarrased. I get embarrased when people talk about their holidays and suggest I am not living a real life if i dont go on holiday (never been on holiday for more than 4 days in my life) I get embarrassed too that I cant go on works nights out (more so when they come back in on the Monday and they are all talking about the fun they had. It creates isolation and a feeling that I am not part of the team. I have to say this happened in my old work too but then I got into huge financial problems trying to keep up and def wont do that again!!

I get embarrassed for my dd when she goes to school with holes in her shoes or trousers that are too short for her.

I get embarrassed when my hair looks a mess cause roots are showing and I havent got enough in the budget for a dye kit

I get embarrassed having people over to my house because my bathroom needs done and my garden is a mess but I cant afford to tile/fix shower/get a skip for rubbish or buy/put up a new fence

I have to say though - even with all this. I am glad I am sorting things out and I would rather be a bit embarrassed rather than so stressed and financially crippled as I was before. Its a long slow and difficult process but I will not go back to the life I had before. Keep your chin up OP. All those clearing debt are with you!!

Hey angelflower, regarding the hair dye problem, do you have a 'Savers' near you? If so, they have hair dye at around a third less than Superdrug and Boots, eg Country Colours semi-perm at £1.99 and permanents starting at £2.99. Plus loads of toiletries, baby stuff and cleaning products too. May be worth a look. I know I can't handle a bad hair day on top of debt worries!

With regards to feeling embarassed by debt, I really idenitfy with some of the posts on this thread. I think in a way we are 'helped' (if you can call it that) by the current economic climate because most people are tightening their belts. When questioned as to why I can't afford to buy/take part in something, such as £2.50 coffees, I just say 'I'd rather spend my money on other things' or 'sorry, MOT coming up!' etc etc...

fairydiamond

I don't feel embarrassed. I see people buying stuff on credit cards and their purses full of about 8 credit cards and I don't feel bad for myself paying with real cash. I now know I am buying what I can afford without the worry of bills coming in.

MrsE_2

nirelandguy wrote: »

This really gets to me. Couple of examples, the guys from work are going out for dinner and a few drinks tomorrow night, only person who can't go is myself as per usual can't afford it, Or there is simple things like going to the coffee machine at work, can't even afford a 50p coffee, or the snack machine can't afford that, or they order food from a restaurant weekly for lunch and get it delivered again only person who hasn't partaken in that. Or another one which happened last week, My son got his first school photo taken, £20:eek: He got a little tiny sample photo, what I had to do was scan it and inlarge it as we can't afford £20, The poor child wondered why all the rest of the kiddies got there photos this week and he didn't, we couldn't afford it.

It is all very embarrasing, Even the simple things like a 50p coffee, something that 99% of people would take for granted is a luxury in this house. And the sad thing is, it is never gonna change

I don't know if you are struggling because of low income or debt or both (or low income caused debt). But I do think its very very sad when working people can't afford the luxuries that many on benefits take for granted:mad:
You are not missing much with machine coffee & snacks:eek:
I do understand it must have been hard for you with the school photos.

Why do you say it is never going to change?

EDITED to say, don't be embarrased, you have nothing to be embarrased about!

linz

I think it's the fashion at the moment to spend less/grb a bargain isn't it?

I've just been rooting around some charity shops in town and saw a beautiful pink and white dress in the window that would be ideal for an upcoming wedding. It's either never been worn or worn once or twice as it looks brand new. If my friend who i'm going with (spends a lot on her clothes) asks me where I got it from, I will tell her with pride that it was £3.99 from a charity shop! I wouldn't have bought clothes from a charity shop before but have been having a nosey just lately and there are some really nice clothes in there, good labels too. There isn't a stigma anymore I don't think, about buying stuff from charity shops.