Oh C*@p

sal-ad_daze

Hi sexkillen,
I know exactly how you feel, my daughter and her h2b were in exactly the same situation. A job he'd been promised didn't materialise due to the credit crunch.
They'd booked their dream venue because the job had been a definate and they knew with both good wages they could afford it so they paid 1K deposit.
When the job didn't materialise they were devestated and then reality hit them, they still had a wedding to pay for. Their venue also had minimum numbers at £60 per head plus drinks package and an evening reception coming in at arround £20 per head again minimum numbers.
They talked about it long and hard and decided that they weren't going to be able to afford it all so they bit the bullet and cancelled the venue losing their deposit. 1K is a lot of money to lose, especially when you're only working part time but they just knew it had to be done.
They've now decided to get married in Gibraltar (they have friends out there) and they are delighted that so many family have instantly said they're coming.
The registrar, the ceremony and the venue will cost under £500!
They are difficult decisions, I know I've been there watching and supporting but you will know the right thing to do.
going abroad means you can tie in your honeymoon too, so perhaps you won't lose all your deposit?
Probably not what you wanted to hear, but I hope it helps a little.

red_bertie

If you start your married life together with debt/s over your heads, it's very stressful and you've got no wriggle room if one of you is made redundant/put on reduced income. What would you do?

Other posters have given good advice - people will understand the need to cut some costs, it's happening all over.

Good luck with your plans.

moneysaver12

Me and my fiance were going to get married in the uk and booked a venue and paid half for bridemaid dresses, then as time went by we realised that we couldn't afford to get married how we wanted to, it was going to cost 14k and also looking at it we thought it was too much money to be spending. We decided to get married aboard which has cost us a lot less, we lost our deposits which was disappointing but it has cost us a lot less which we were able to afford. i hope that you can get some thing sorted out.

weeclick

Id love to get married somewhere hot - but it would mean not all my family members could attend, especially the older ones! (no disrespect to them) and not everyone would be able to afford it either! Your lucky you got something sorted good luck with the wedding and congratulations!

A nice sandy beach, shorts and a tshirt - sipping wine watching the sunset how peaceful and perfect!

ruthie_2

Oh no, I'm sorry you are so worried about things. I'm going to be blunt though - you can't afford the wedding that you had hoped to have. I would sit down and look at the budget you actually have, and come up with a new plan that you can afford. £60 per head is a lot to pay. Can you keep the same venue and have a simpler arrangement like a buffet for £25? etc. Can you be honest with them and tell them you're going to have to come up with another plan or you'll have to look at another venue?

If you really need to, you can have a lovely wedding for a couple of thousand. It would be difficult to lose the deposits I know, but better to do this than go ahead with something you can't afford and start your married lives in debt. We are getting married in August and haven't yet booked our reception venue, so I'm sure you could find something nice. We are in discussion with a local restaurant who are going to do a lovely meal for 40 people, for £1000.

With the amounts you are talking about, tinkering about with small costs like flowers just isn't going to do it. It sounds like you need a fundamental rethink. Jope you come up with a plan that you are happy with x

sexki11en

What a couple of days we've had. First off, we're cancelling the honeymoon. £3,500 saved straight away. Of course it's not what we want to do and the thought of no holiday this year is awful (particularly when we're getting married) but it had to be done.

The venue is proving to be more difficult. We thought we'd nailed it when we went to look at the Holiday Inn with their £999* wedding but the * at the end is there for a reason.

When you add in all the little extras (like essential room hire, buffet for ALL guests, wine for the meal etc, bucks fizz for the guests - all mandatory if you're adding extra guests) it was almost £60 a head. Our original venue is £68 a head and we get so much more for that.

So I e mailed our original venue today just asking what I need to do to cancel, and was surprised with the response. They are going to look for us at how we can reduce the package eg. serving the cake instead of a dessert, offering corkage (OH's Aunt & Uncle own a vineyard in France and want to give wine as a wedding present :j) and taking the cost of the wine off etc. Her words were 'we want to loose you as much as you want to loose us'

We have to go home tonight and sit down with the guest list and shave a lot off the day do which will be hard. Only 19 out of the 95 are our friends - the rest are family or close family friends, and my parents particularly will go mad, but it's all we can do.

So we'll update you once we've done that and let you know how much more we manage to shave off.

Thank you all for your original advice, there may be more we can do yet.

kelda_shelton

well done sex kitten. It's hard but its got to be done..

You're parent shouldn't be mad f you tell them up front the issue, and what you'rve done to deal with the situation.

weeclick

Im so pleased your starting to get things done! I know it must have been tough to cancel the honeymoon but Im sure youll see the benefit in the long term and you could end up going again eventually!

Its a shame you cant really benefit from the deal holiday inn have - but I think alot of places advertise so cleverly to get you to look, end up charging you more and you still go ahead and book!

Fingers crossed you'll be able to work something out with your original venue, it looks like they may be able to help you after all!

Your parents will just have to understand the situation your in, at the end of the day its your choice and you need to enjoy the day as much as possible not worry about how much its costing!

Well done on the already brilliant save!

lindaatno9

I'd just like to add if there is anything I can help with then I'd be happy to. Sounds like you have everything kind of sorted but anything else, well, you know. xx

Tigerlilley1980

That's fanatstic news. It's nice to see that the venue are being so cooperative. TBH are your parents paying towards the wedding, because if not then they really can't say much about you not inviting people, or they may offer to help. I'm sure they will be pleased when you tell them how you are dealing with it, Tiger x