kitten in neighbours garden - not welcome!!

GracieP

lowis wrote: »

i don't particularly like screaming sugar-loaded brats running around restaurants and shops, knocking into me or getting in the way whilst their parents coo at them as if they are the most adorable things in the world.

But the shops and restaurants are not your personal, private property so your analogy doesn't work. We all have the right to say what can and can't go on, on our property. I personally don't want cats in my garden as my dogs use the garden, often unsupervised, and if they caught a cat I worry they would tear it apart. My dogs are natural hunters, one in particular is extremely fast and agile, so the likelihood of them catching a cat is fairly high. And many of the cats in my neighbourhood seem to be fairly dense about dogs and saunter around them. I, or my husband, have had to grab the dogs and run cats off a number of times for their own protection, as I would be gutted if my dogs killed someone's beloved pet.

lowis

GracieP wrote: »

But the shops and restaurants are not your personal, private property so your analogy doesn't work. We all have the right to say what can and can't go on, on our property. I personally don't want cats in my garden as my dogs use the garden, often unsupervised, and if they caught a cat I worry they would tear it apart. My dogs are natural hunters, one in particular is extremely fast and agile, so the likelihood of them catching a cat is fairly high. And many of the cats in my neighbourhood seem to be fairly dense about dogs and saunter around them. I, or my husband, have had to grab the dogs and run cats off a number of times for their own protection, as I would be gutted if my dogs killed someone's beloved pet.

if i am in a public space i have as much right to enjoy that space as anyone else and if a child is misbehaving or making a nuisance of itself, parents have a duty to ensure their children behave and do not disturb or annoy strangers. so my analogy does work.

but beside that, my point (which seems to have been missed) is to resolve any issues you have politely and nicely...as i would with the parents of children misbehaving and causing annoyance to me, whether on private property or in a public space.

Idiophreak

mrcol1000 wrote: »

I really can't stand cat owners who seem to assume their cat can do what it wants, where it wants and then claim no responsiblity for it. Either the cat is a pet and so your responsiblity or its a wild animal that is fair game to whatever if it causes a nusiance

Great post, this... :T:T

...and well done to the OP for trying to take some kind of responsibility for the animal!

mrcol1000

lowis wrote: »

if i am in a public space i have as much right to enjoy that space as anyone else and if a child is misbehaving or making a nuisance of itself, parents have a duty to ensure their children behave and do not disturb or annoy strangers. so my analogy does work.

but beside that, my point (which seems to have been missed) is to resolve any issues you have politely and nicely...as i would with the parents of children misbehaving and causing annoyance to me, whether on private property or in a public space.

But you can leave that public space and move somewhere else. I would hope that everyone would try and deal with any dispute in a calm and friendly manner. Neighbourhood disputes never end well. Its an aggorance that something your responsible for is not your responsiblity or that you can do whatever you want and screw everyone else that leads to bad feeling. I feel just saying "Well thats what cats do...." is not the right response. What someone else suggested about giving your neighbour advice on how to humanely stop your cat from going into their garden is the correct response. The OP wanted advice on how to stop it not to be encouraged to cause a fall out with neighbours.

lowis

i agree with you - and it is what i have been saying all along - it is about resposnsibility and being responsible for your actions and the actions of those in your care (whether it be animal or human).

i don't really see why i should have to stop what i am enjoying though (whether it be in a publics space or private property) just because someone is an incapable parent and can not (will not?) control their child properly. i think the first approach is to ask the parent nicely whether they could stop their child from disrupting those around it - if the parent is ill-mannered, with no consideration for others, and becomes aggressive or violent then that is when i will move on!

Idiophreak

mrcol1000 wrote: »

But you can leave that public space and move somewhere else.

This attitude stinks so badly.

If someone's doing something to bother you, *they* should stop doing it. *You* shouldn't have to move away. *You* have as much right to quiet enjoyment of that space as they do...

You see this kind of selfish thought every day on these boards.

"Q:my neighbour's playing loud music..A: he can play loud music if he wants...switch bedrooms".

"Q: the dog next door keeps pooping on my lawn..A: It's what dog's do. clean it up"

"Q: the boy across the road keeps looking at me through his telescope when I'm getting undressed...A: boys will be boys...put up some curtains".

So. Sick. Of. It.

GracieP

Idiophreak wrote: »

This attitude stinks so badly.

If someone's doing something to bother you, *they* should stop doing it. *You* shouldn't have to move away. *You* have as much right to quiet enjoyment of that space as they do...

You see this kind of selfish thought every day on these boards.

"Q:my neighbour's playing loud music..A: he can play loud music if he wants...switch bedrooms".

"Q: the dog next door keeps pooping on my lawn..A: It's what dog's do. clean it up"

"Q: the boy across the road keeps looking at me through his telescope when I'm getting undressed...A: boys will be boys...put up some curtains".

So. Sick. Of. It.

That's mrcol's point. The statement to leave a public space was just to illustrate that there is a world of difference between selfish, irresponsibility that annoys you in a public space and selfish, irresponsibility by uninvited guests on your private property.

mrcol's posts have been in frustration at people who don't take responsibility for the actions of those they are responsible for. In fact, just read the rest of the post you quoted selectively.

lowis

GracieP wrote: »

That's mrcol's point. The statement to leave a public space was just to illustrate that there is a world of difference between selfish, irresponsibility that annoys you in a public space and selfish, irresponsibility by uninvited guests on your private property.

mrcol's posts have been in frustration at people who don't take responsibility for the actions of those they are responsible for.

there isn't a world of difference at all. if, for example, i am paying good money in a restaurant for a meal, and on the table next to me are a set of parents who allow their child to flick food around or scream, then that is being irresponsible - why should i leave? it's not me in the wrong or being irresponsible.

my posts have been about resolving issues in a polite manner and have also been about frustration with people who do not take responsibility for actions that they, or anyone in their care, are responsible for. mr col and i seem to be saying much the same thing.

mrcol1000

lowis wrote: »

there isn't a world of difference at all. if, for example, i am paying good money in a restaurant for a meal, and on the table next to me are a set of parents who allow their child to flick food around or scream, then that is being irresponsible - why should i leave? it's not me in the wrong or being irresponsible.

my posts have been about resolving issues in a polite manner and have also been about frustration with people who do not take responsibility for actions that they, or anyone in their care, are responsible for. mr col and i seem to be saying much the same thing.

Its not that you SHOULD leave its that you CAN. If you ask them to stop and they carry on then you can either sit there and put up with it or you can ask to move table or leave the resturant. Some people will leave some will put up with it. It depends on the person. However if its happening in your garden your stuck with it. There is a big difference.

lowis

well...going back to my original point...try to resolve the issue by being polite, flexible, calm and neighbourly. it is amazing what can be achieved by approaching a problem in this manner - you may find you aren't stuck with the problem for much longer. if you have troublesome, nit-picky, awkward neighbours though then i have no idea what to suggest!