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Divorce-but where is she?

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  • SnowyOwl_2
    SnowyOwl_2 Posts: 5,257 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Try https://www.192.com to see if you can find her - you might have to subscribe but for the sake of a few pounds it'll probably be worth it.
  • Hi Amber I am not her to either criticise or to be judge or jury and having re read my posts, i didn't make and i quote you

    "rather than making negative comments about her in every post",

    The only thing that you could consider negative is saying she was strange. I think that in the day and age that that would be considered quite polite considering the circumstances.:mad:

    Any way I am not getting into that with you as I am here for one reason only.

    Thanks to everyone that has given me real constructive help over the last few days.

    Pee please can you tell me what traceline is please.

    Celyn thankyou for the nice comments my brother is always saying that he is lucky that we are here for him too. I just saw the more the merrier in our house. We dont have much but we have a great sense of humour.


    anyways thanks again all. mse to the rescue one again:beer:
  • Hi Snowy thanks for that but we tried that one ages ago.
  • Georgie4
    Georgie4 Posts: 217 Forumite
    I know you cant get the information from the police but can the courts ask for it for the purpose of serving the documents it may be worth presenting the question to a solicitor or the court themselves ?

    Courts are covered by data protection laws and even if they had any kind of record on the person would not give out details
  • kindofagilr
    kindofagilr Posts: 6,825 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    Surely if the police know where she is and your brother filed for divorce the courts can serve the divorce papers to her via the police?

    I hope your brother gets is sorted out :)
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  • Pee
    Pee Posts: 3,826 Forumite
    Google traceline. It is run by some government department and what they do is allow you to forward a letter to someone. They can trace people through doctors, NI number etc. They will only pass the letter on if they feel it is in the recipients benefit, but I don't see why this wouldn't be for her benefit as well as your brother, and there is a charge of £5 or something similiar, so worth a go, even if it doesn't work.
  • Amber_Sunshine
    Amber_Sunshine Posts: 1,741 Forumite
    I am not trying to 'get into anything', if that's what you think, merely pointing out that the comments that you have made abut your SIL have little to do with the issue you have requested help with, namely how your brother can proceed with the divorce.

    I appreciate that you wouldn't want to disclose more personal details about what happened, bt you are asking us to take your word as gospel that your SIL is entirely at fault. I just feel that she is not here to defend herself, and that she may have a very different perspective on matters.

    BTW these are direct quotes from your posts -

    'She ran out on him leaving him in debt with house being repossesed and leaving behind there daughter as well. So please no sympathy for her.'

    'I dont think she ever was of sound mind'

    'Believe me she was in the wrong when she left.'

    'She is in hiding from what she has done and cant face up to her family or ours'
  • bookduck
    bookduck Posts: 1,136 Forumite
    And as for getting a PI thats out of the question as my brother had to relocate to be with us as his house was repossesed due to her. So he lost his job as well in the process. So no money for PI unfortunatley

    Thanks agin both of you

    No money in your pocket, want a part time job and be able to track her down? Start working for a debt collection agency or better still cour appointed baliffs.. You'll make contacts and after a period of time should be able to glean information.
    GOOGLE it before you ask, you'll often save yourself a lot of time. ;)
  • Hi Amber, I agree with you that she probably has a different story. But the quotes that you quoted are facts. And if my dearest SIL finally manages to come round knockin on my door I would love to invite her in for a cup of arsenic oops sorry I mean tea and crumpets and listen to her side of the story. No matter what she says she abandoned them and has had there house repossesed and relocated without her family etc knowing where she is. There must also be some reasonable explanation why no birthday cards, phone callls, xmas etc for her daughter as well.
    Again these are all facts not personalised with hate or negativity just facts.

    Pee I was wondering if you could send me a link on traceline as I cant seem to find anything about passsing a letter on. This would be appreciated thanks. This could be a turning point if we could do that.
  • Amber_Sunshine
    Amber_Sunshine Posts: 1,741 Forumite
    Hi Amber, I agree with you that she probably has a different story. But the quotes that you quoted are facts. And if my dearest SIL finally manages to come round knockin on my door I would love to invite her in for a cup of arsenic oops sorry I mean tea and crumpets and listen to her side of the story. No matter what she says she abandoned them and has had there house repossesed and relocated without her family etc knowing where she is. There must also be some reasonable explanation why no birthday cards, phone callls, xmas etc for her daughter as well.
    Again these are all facts not personalised with hate or negativity just facts.
    QUOTE]

    Stress, depression, panic about debts? Perhaps she thinks that everyone would be better off without her (yes, I'm sure you'd agree). However, as far as I can see, most of the quotes that I posted are your opinions. Are you qualified to assess her mental health, for example?

    You are obviously loyal to your brother, and I hope that he can get this sorted and move on with his life, but I think there may, possibly, be grounds for concern for your SIL's welfare. Hopefully not. Do remember that, however close you are to your brother, no outsider knows the full extent of what goes on in a marriage. I'm sure my ex-husband tells everyone that I'm an evil witch who ruined our marriage, but I could tell a very different story.

    I'm not going to comment any more, except to say that if you don't want honest opinions, better not to post on an open forums.
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