advice needed regarding ex not giving consent

onebusybee

bellrooster wrote: »

What an awkward situation!

I think that you should apply to the family court and see what happens from there.

I have a different name from my daughter and despite the fact that I'm very much still in a relationship with her Dad, we have no plans to marry and it saddens me that we don't share the same name. So much so that we've opted for the double barrled option that you are suggesting for your own situation and have sent off our consent etc to deed poll.

I really hope that you can get it sorted!

Thank you for your reply!
I'm so glad I am not the only person who feels saddened by this. It was never purely because of the complications that have arised from it and i was becoming quite disheartened by it all

Floss

Floss wrote: »

Take a look at this linky - according to that you may not actually need his written consent.....

Just in case you may have missed this....

onebusybee

Thanks for the link, I do require his consent as we both have parental responsibility.

DigitalJedi

Sounds to me like you have some very good examples of why you want to change your childs surname. No idea what a court will say though.

Strange, my kids have my surname and I was never married to my ex. She's never ever had any problems whatsoever. Given she is blonde and the kids are half caste with dark hair you'd think she'd have issues but nope, not once.

Becles

I've been through this with my children. They have my ex's name who doesn't have much to do with them and I've since remarried and they think of my husband as their Dad.

The boys really want to change their name to our name, but ex point blank refuses to do that. He said the only way he would agree would be if my husband formally adopts the boys, so he no longer has to pay child maintenance.

We were told we could apply to the courts to have the boys names changed but we didn't want to go through all the costs of that without being certain that we would win.

At the moment the boys prefer to use our surname on unofficial things like their email addresses and stuff, but they have their proper surname on official things like bank accounts, school, the doctors etc. They're both counting down the days until their 16th birthdays when they can legally change their name and ex can't stop them!

littlemissmoney

Becles wrote: »

He said the only way he would agree would be if my husband formally adopts the boys, so he no longer has to pay child maintenance.

Blackmail, nice :rolleyes:

onebusybee

Becles wrote: »

but ex point blank refuses to do that. He said the only way he would agree would be if my husband formally adopts the boys, so he no longer has to pay child maintenance.

:eek: thats horrible. Thankfully he hasn't brought my partner in to it (probably because we dont live together) but i wouldn't put it past him. He's tried pulling allsorts of tricks to get out of paying maintenance.

shimmershelly

Someone I know did this and changed the childs name to her maiden name so they would have the same name. She then met and married her husband so she has a different surname than her child again.
My DH's ex changed his kids names behind his back before his PR went through, so I'm glad dads have more of a say in it these days.

shellnapier

i have a differnt name from my daughter and strangly enough if i ever phone NHS in middle og night and say her naem, then say my name, theni get in a baby voice "is there any adults in the house i can talk to" then i say im her mother! haha but were gettn married 18 months so wil be same then

floss2

Becles wrote: »

...He said the only way he would agree would be if my husband formally adopts the boys, so he no longer has to pay child maintenance....

Off topic, but if your OH did adopt your sons, they would then be unable to inherit from their blood father, but would be able to inherit from your OH, their adopted father.