advice needed regarding ex not giving consent

onebusybee

Not sure if i should post this here so please delete if i'm not supposed to.

My ex partner and I split up when my daughter (now 3) was 8 months old. He now lives in Norway, has married and only visits our child once or twice a year.

I want to change her surname by deed poll to a double barrel of his and mine as currently she only has his and it is awkward at times.

I have written to him for consent but he is refusing.

Is there anything else I can do?

korky69

someone might prove me otherwise,
but no, something to do with parental responsibility,
if he says no then thats that.
my ex's family tried to get her change my lads name to her maiden name.
no way would i let her

puddy

you can apply to the family courts for a specific issues order. the issue being change of name.

but, you need to give some good reasons for this and 'it being awkward' is not really enough of one. why is it awkward, she is 3 years old.

if you want to make application, you need to go to court, complete form c100 and submit your application, i think it costs £175. if he refuses consent, the courts will make the decision, it may not go in your favour or it might do.

onebusybee

korky69 wrote: »

my ex's family tried to get her change my lads name to her maiden name.
no way would i let her

I can totally understand why you would say no to that. Hence me trying to meet him halfway by double-barreling her name.
I didnt think i was being unreasonable!!

I just hope there is something i can do

onebusybee

jenner wrote: »

why is it awkward, she is 3 years old.

latest example:

Returning from holiday abroad we were coming through customs and i had to go into a private room and wait 45 minutes for them to decide wether or not i was allowed to bring my daughter back into the country as our passports have different surnames and i didnt have any other proof of me being her mother e.g birth certificate with me. Highly amusing really given the fact I had no problem taking her out the country.

She also has a medical condition which means frequent hospital visits which again i am constantly questioned regards to our names being different.

Given the percentage of seperations etc nowadays they really havent done much to reduce the problems i am facing so often.

littlemissmoney

onebusybee wrote: »

latest example:

Returning from holiday abroad we were coming through customs and i had to go into a private room and wait 45 minutes for them to decide wether or not i was allowed to bring my daughter back into the country as our passports have different surnames and i didnt have any other proof of me being her mother e.g birth certificate with me. Highly amusing really given the fact I had no problem taking her out the country.

She also has a medical condition which means frequent hospital visits which again i am constantly questioned regards to our names being different.

Given the percentage of seperations etc nowadays they really havent done much to reduce the problems i am facing so often.

You could change your name to match your daughters?

jack*tigger

As you know this is a problem e.g. at the hospital why don't you carry a copy of her birth certificate with you ?? Would save a lot of hassle until you can come up with a better solution.

Floss

Also, I am sure that if you ask (and even pay an "admin" cost) the hospital will put a note on your daughter's file & records to say that you are her mum, despite the difference in surname. I am sure they must have had this situation before with step children or foster children.

[STRIKE]And why not write to everyone like Child Benefit, child trust account, hospital, NHS Trust, dentist, pre-school, education department etc & say that with effect from say, 1st July 2009, your daughter will now be known as Whatever-her-name-is Double-Barrelled. It's easier than deed poll and can be just as efffective in most situations without the hassle of him agreeing. Then after 2 years of that, write to him again and ask for his consent to change it legally.[/STRIKE]

Take a look at this linky - according to that you may not actually need his written consent.....

bellrooster

What an awkward situation!

I think that you should apply to the family court and see what happens from there.

I have a different name from my daughter and despite the fact that I'm very much still in a relationship with her Dad, we have no plans to marry and it saddens me that we don't share the same name. So much so that we've opted for the double barrled option that you are suggesting for your own situation and have sent off our consent etc to deed poll.

I really hope that you can get it sorted!

onebusybee

littlemissmoney wrote: »

You could change your name to match your daughters?

I would not want to carry his surname as my own given the circumstances of our seperation.

regarding carrying her birth certificate i have begun doing this however I still wish to double-barrel her surname. Surely that is not such a unreasonable request.

bellrooster

onebusybee wrote: »

I would not want to carry his surname as my own given the circumstances of our seperation.

regarding carrying her birth certificate i have begun doing this however I still wish to double-barrel her surname. Surely that is not such a unreasonable request.

I think it's more than reasonable! ofcourse you want to share the same name as your child!

and as for changing your name to that of your ex partner, that is absolute bonkers.