I'm frightened to death

Glamazon

xmaslolly76 wrote: »

I do pop on the pregnancy thread now and then and it is very usefull and full of lovely peeps but unless i have a bit of time to hang around i find i get lost on there and cant keep up lol x

don't worry about just popping in to ask stuff - it's too hard to keep up. I only manage it by keeping updated before I start work and again in the evening - OH says I have an addiction :rotfl:

Anymore than 15 pages and I usually don't bother catching up!!!!

clairec79

You're worried for two reasons, partly because you've lost one baby and it makes you realise that it can happen to you, and because your friend lost one at 20 weeks you are going to worry till you are past that point,

xmaslolly76

I blame the lack of antenatal care this time i have only seen my midwife twice during the whole twenty weeks and she has never checked for the heart beat or felt my tummy. This was done everytime with the other two and i was seen at least once every 4 weeks I cant help but feel sorry for the first time moms out there getting that kind of care they must go through hell everytime they get a strange ache or pain or symptom.

Im sorry i have just read the above looking back it sounds like i may be blaming the midwives im not i know they are under a lot of pressure and they have to work guide lines and that i can contact them at any time i just find it hard to believe that the system can have changed so much in such a short space of time and that antenatal care seems to be deemed unimportant now in the big scheme of things.

Loopy_Lobes

xmaslolly76 wrote: »

I blame the lack of antenatal care this time i have only seen my midwife twice during the whole twenty weeks and she has never checked for the heart beat or felt my tummy. This was done everytime with the other two and i was seen at least once every 4 weeks I cant help but feel sorry for the first time moms out there getting that kind of care they must go through hell everytime they get a strange ache or pain or symptom.

Im sorry i have just read the above looking back it sounds like i may be blaming the midwives im not i know they are under a lot of pressure and they have to work guide lines and that i can contact them at any time i just find it hard to believe that the system can have changed so much in such a short space of time and that antenatal care seems to be deemed unimportant now in the big scheme of things.

The check up's have definitely got less frequent, when I had my first 14 years ago I had many more appointments than when I had my last child who is now two. However, I have a friend who had had some problems and she was very well looked after. She ended up having her baby two months early and couldn't have wanted for better care - so I think if you do have problems they are there for you but unless the need arises you are left to get on with it.

Most women nowadays though are so clued up, what with the internet, books, magazines and forums like this one or all the parenting forums out there you can often find the answer to any question without needing a health professional - not saying you should self diagnose anything but minor niggles can often be sorted out yourself. For example I had a very embarrassing problem after the birth of my last child and when I typed it into google I found that it was very common so didn't need to bother my midwife with it

Sirbendy

Age is nothing to do with it..heh.. I'm 32, missus is 23..we're at the 12 week mark on Monday, and have the scan. I'm nervous as hell, as we have bleeding. However, we had this 4 weeks ago, and it's a bleed that was above sprog. Now it's below sprog which is in theory better, but we've been on fortnightly scans.

There was a tiny bit last night, which we were told would almost certainly happen. Doesn't make it less scary though. We lost twins at the 8 week marker last year, so it's all very "knife edge".

After the bleed last time, we thought it was game over. Rush to A&E at 6am, ambulance to Gynae ward at Shrewsbury, spent all day on tenterhooks waiting for a scan at 7pm. The scan came, "it's fine, look..there it is, all happy, see the heartbeat? It's got some bleeding above, but that sometimes happens."..I could have cried. Every scan, I prepare for the worst, and so far it's all good. I feel like such a plank, going outside to find an isolated spot so I can just sit and let it out without anyone seeing.

Fingers crossed for you (and tomorrow as well).

xmaslolly76

Hi Sirbendy

If its any help to reasure you i had something called placenta previa with my second one and was in and out of hospital all the time with bleeding but the bab was never in danger. little was born early but completely healthy. Sometimes bleeding does happen and it doesnt hurt the bab.

I think my worries will settle down after the scan i am always fearing the worst.

Goodluck for tomorrow come back and let us know how you got on in the pregnancy thread :-) x

caevans

Hi
Just a wee note so Sirbendy. I too had bleeding during the start of my pregnancy pretty much on and off between 6 weeks and 13 weeks. At 13 weeks I had a huge gush of blood (sorry tmi) and thought that was it. Much hysteria and trip to hospital but scan showed that baby was still completely fine. Never been so scared in my life. Had a scan the following week and they found a haematoma. I then had a bit more bleeding which was the rest of the haematoma coming away.
anyway I am not 40 +1 and desperately awaiting my lovely baby! they do say that bleeding is way more common than people think, and we all automatically think the worst is happening. Stay positive that everything will be fine. The experience has made pregnancy a lot scarier than I ever imagined, but it will be well worth it when the wee one decides to make an appearance.....!
C

clairec79

To start off with you are seen monthly - it's just in the early stages some is done by a hospital midwife (or doctor) when you had your scan (who may not have actually said she was a midwife) so it often seems less, does this seem (about - give or take a few weeks for each appointment) what you've had

8 weeks (approx) saw your midwife - no point feeling your tummy because the uterus is still inside your pelvis and can't be felt (and can't get a heartbeat at that stage)
12 weeks saw hospital midwife (when having scan - they saw a heartbeat so not exposing baby to unnecessary ultrasound - which is what the sonicaid uses, plus probably wouldn't hear it any way)
16 weeks saw midwife, at this stage you can't always depending on where baby is lying, I normally explain that it's 50/50 but if you don't hear it it'll make you sure something is wrong when it's likely fine, but I'll give it a go - if the choice is left up to me (as 'what do you think?') I won't try - and I know some colleagues who won't
20 weeks see hospital midwife when you have your scan - again saw heartbeat on scan they won't listen then either

24, 28, 32, 36 weeks (so still monthly) they'll measure your belly and listen in because those stages are when the measurements a) mean something and b) something can be done if there is a problem (too big/too small), then fortnightly till you are due, then at 41 weeks then bi weekly until baby (presuming you went that far and weren't induced)

Glamazon

Hi Claire - it is not the same all over the country it depends how good ur PCT is and also how short of MW's the area is.

I work in one PCT and our MW's have 2 booking in appts, one at GP surgery and one at local clinic whereas the PCT where I live I just got one appt where they did everything. Also, on the pg thread we have found some women have had to wait until 12 weeks to get booking in appt,

Not everyone gets 2 scans and you only get the 16 week appt with the MW IF u want the triple test at 8 weeks I was told if I didn't want triple test then to book in at 24 weeks.

I didn't see a hospital MW at my 12 week scan and doubt I will at my 20 week scan - the sonographer told me at 12w to contact my MW when I asked her a question.

I was very lucky that at 16 weeks I was booked in with consultant by mistake and got to hear the Heartbeat which they picked immediately and again last week.

I think the first part of pregnancy goes quite slow and is the most worrying stage - it's after this that u get seen regularly and it whizzes by (at least I hope it will!)

Felicity

Aw, big hugs to you.

We waited 5 years to get pregnant and when we did I was so worried for my little baby for the whole 9 months.

I was so worried going for my 20 week scan that I asked my husband (we are normally very close) not to come with me as I was so anxious and knew I would be snappy, I just wanted it over and done with and wanted to know my baby was safe inside me and progressing well.

I too had a friend who had had problems with their 20 week scan and I just couldnt get it out of my head. I couldn't sleep with worry even knowing that my stress was not helping my little baby in my tummy.

Because of infertility problems we had consultant led care so a lot more scans and checks than a 'normal' pregnancy. I suppose this didn't help.

If I can offer you any reassurance, please remember that problems normally occur within the first 3 months and you are now well out of that period and statistically your baby is safer, plus you are getting all the kicking and moving that is a great sign.

I now have a gorgeous 18 month old little boy and wish I had enjoyed my pregnancy more and not felt the stress and worry I did throughout.

We are trying for another baby and I know I will be as paranoid again the next time around, it is instinctive to care and nurture our babies from the word go, it is normal. Your feelings are normal.

I wish you all the best of luck and hope that after your 20 week scan you will enjoy your pregnancy with fewer worries.