Does anyone here do 'tit-for-tat' money?

efrieze

gymfiend wrote: »

On the other hand, my brother and his girlfriend split everything down the middle. One spend £6 on washing powder and a bag of salad, the other has to hand over £3. Very strange I think!

That's the way we do it on our house and it works for us. Neither one of us wants to give control on the Finances to the other!

Indicentally, my OH was talking this morning about buying some stupid Computer/TV streaming gadget thingy for £450 :eek: saying that we needed it. I told him that I have to think for months and months about whether I can justify spending £100 on myself (I fancy some GHDs) and he can consider spending this 'just like that' - we are supposed to be saving up for a loft extention!

pavlovs_dog

aliasojo wrote: »

Dont get me wrong, we dont have regular disagreements over our finances and all our bills etc get paid before anyone spends anything but if one partner is naturally attracted to 'things' more than the other, then that could be cause for discussion in itself.

you've just described me and the OH to a tee. His main vice is his love of his computer games and gadgets. I on the other hand can go weeks and barely spend a penny.

although we are of the view that what's mine is his and vice versa money wise, we still have sepearate finances, and that will continue until we get our own place. We've always said that when that day comes we'd pay ourselves pocket money after all other expenses were taken care of, and that money would be ours to use as we please. I'd hate to think he'd feel guilty about treating himself to a game or a gadget when it's money that he's worked just as hard as me to earn. We'll both know that we have £x per month to spend on whatever we want... If he blows it all on the first day and is skint until the end of the month, that's his choice. There'll be food in the cupboards and petrol in the car so it's not as if he'll starve or be stuck indoors, he'd just have to do without his newspapers and the starbucks coffee.

I think not having guilt free access to the same amount of money as your other half (whether you choose to spend it or not) can only ultimately lead to resentment. In my experience of these things when the frugalista does decide to treat themselves for once their other half is usually quick to comment/moan, oblivious to the fact that they normally do more than the lion's share of the spending

RoxieW

All our money goes into joint account and we each have the same amount to spend on what we like 'pocket money' we call it. I have friends who split down the middle and i think its such a hassle and quite petty. I mena come on - I spent a fiver on nappies today - give me £2.50! Maybe if you're still in the dating stage but not if you're in a commited relationship with house/kids/whatever.

roswell

Not in the same way or tit for tat but i spend only on what i need as i need thier for when i spend £400 on myself I get "But why dont i have that" "because you pend yours and i save mine, we have the same "pocket money" each month its how you use it that makes the differance.

Swishy_bell

We kind of dso tit-for-tat. All our earnngs go in the joint account and all bills etc. come out. We agreed each of us will have a hobbie equalish in cost. Other than that we pretty much don't spend anything the is only for one of us, we tend to go out together anyway so that is fine.

Anything specifically for one of us the other would never use comes from birthday or christmas presents for which we set a budget before hand. My DH tends to spend a little more on his hobby then me but he always insists on going a little over my budget for gifts so he can feel like he is spoiling me!

It works really well for us, though we are not strict I would hind money away if he bought something ut I might feel a bit less guilty when buying some clothes not from primark!

mluton

We split all billing 50/50 from my account, OH tranfers her half end of each month after her pay day.

When I buy things, I will always find half of it in my account the day after, I tell her to not bother but she does.

When she buys stuff, I keep her 50% till she asks for it, she thinks of it as bit of back up money if she becomes short. She like it to mount up so she can buy her self something.

Also as I like my gadgets, anything I buy over £100 I buy her a little gift, something we have always done. Keeps her sweet when buying boys toys. LOL

Js_Other_Half

OH earns more than 3 times my salary, so all income goes into a joint account and we keep £100 each for 'pocket money'. (per month)

Spirit_2

Mr Spirit has alway spent more than I have. This never bothered me until I had my light bulb moment and started tackiling our debts. As I pulled in our spending on bills etc he carried on spending, with a bit of restraint but not sufficient regard for our reduced family budget. This started to seriously annoy me:mad:.

Our solution is that we each have £50 per week for discretionary spending - we can spend this on lunch/social/anything we chose. We can save it if we wish, the only proviso is that we save for gifts for each others birthdays/ xmas / valentines from it.

This works -he draws it religeously every week, I often forget or spend mine on bits of family shopping, but that is my choice. We have been doing this for some time now, family budget is on track and harmony reigns:j:j:j.

It truly has changed the habits of a lifetime. Last week Mr Spirit bought new shoes , I had expected them to be paid for from our family budget, he paid from his "savings" - bless him he even saves in a piggy bank.:D

Newly_retired

We have worked out that we each pay roughly half of the main outgoings + holidays, so when an extra bill comes eg roof repairs we split it half each. After that we each have our own money. I saved loads, whereas he used to smoke, One of the main factors in getting him to give up was how much more money he would have to spend - on his hobby.
Even now I am retired I still save. He spends - on his hobby, on gadgets and equipment, even on replacing his car, without discussing it. If I am planning anything major I always discuss it.
He is sometimes generous eg will not charge me for anything he buys for me online eg CDs, tickets.
I find it hard to spend money actually. We had none to spare for years so I guess it is ingrained not to spend. I can go into town and come back with nothing more than a birthday card. LOL

Sweetpeanut

my husband is the breadwinner in our house, he gives me money each day, and money for the weekends, any trips, big purchases etc, he pays for i pay the t.v. license and get bits & bobs out of my family allowance, he gives me £100 shopping money a week, and im ashamed to say (hangs head!) iv been spending the lot on food, because i stupidly have not been here for a few weeks, but last year he paid for me to go NewYork with my friend, MIL, SIL for 5 days and i managed to squirrel away £400 all last year from my shopping money, so im starting again now on the road to saving a few bob:o