Deserve everything I get....

regempty

I wasn't sure where to post this so I hope someone will forward it to the appropriate section.

Let me just start by saying that I dont expect any sympathy or have received any.

I have a gambling problem and Im an unemployed manic depressive who lives with his two disabled parents. I do errands for them, make sure they are ok and I get to live at home like some sort of suspended in time teenager.
Anyway I set up a gambling account with 2 sites. I used my own money to start with which is payed into my parents joint account. The bank have been aware of this arrangement for a years. I was winning at first as you tend to do but when I started to lose I took my parents card and used it to open an account in my dads name. They did not give me permission and knew nothing until money started disappearing and reappearing on their online statement. I basically lied to them and told them that the money was mine and the bank was making mistakes. They trusted me and are not very i.t savvy. My mum noticed that her bank account was 2 grand down and phoned a teller at the bank. The teller told her that in her opinion it was probably me gambling as money had been gong in and out for years. (So she admitts that I had been using the account to gamble with). The teller asked my mum if she should block the account, but mum being mum said she would ask me what was going on. I told her it would never happen again.
My luch continued to spirall downwards and after arguing about money with my mum (at this point she was 2 grand down on her account but 8 grand winnings were coming by cheque). I left went to the pub and got walloped came home and basically wiped all their savings out of the account. I didnt remember how much, It was just bet lust. I was angry and thought I would eventually win it back. The last time she checked their was 15 grand in teh account but because OUR bank never updates properly she thought nothing of it. Two days later she was overdrawn...from 15 grand up to being overdrawn.
I admitted that it was me. She is on suicide watch now and being visited by a team of crisis nurses round the clock. She cant stop crying and is slowly going mad. My dad who has lung cancer just feels sorry for me and says that Ive finally put my mum in an early grave.
So thats the sob story out of the way. I have submitted a statement to the police admitting that i took the money without their permission. They practically called my parents liars because they let me use the card to buy them their messages and to take out my own benefit money. The 12 thousand pounds were taken out over 1 24 hour period. I just think the bank could have phoned and let my parents know what was going on? They wont refund anything despite me telling them that it was me who stole the money.
I need some legal advice. No one in my town has any experience with this sort of thing. My mother reported me to the varous credit card companys that i had taken out in my fathers name (again without him knowing).
All I want is for my parents to get their money back. I would cut of my head if someone would pay for it. I am now waiting on what the police are going to do. I will probably do some sort of some custodial sentence. Ive never been in trouble before, I am shy to the point of agraphobic and I would like to thing I have a good moral character. However I let my greed get the better of me and fuelled by lonliness, depression and a lack of any thought of consequences and blew my parents entire life savings. I have lost alot of money before but I have also given alot away. I bought my brother a car, paid his mortgage and got my parents a loan long ago and couldnt leave my job because i had to pay it off. I hated that job and it definitely contributed to my current depressive/suicidal state.
Is their any precedent for a bank paying money back, even when given evidence that the funds were taken without the owners permission?
Ofcoarse i wish I could turn back the clock. Whatever discission is made I will have to move out and I will miss my dad terribly. Under the circumstances I dont think my mum will ever look me in the eye again.
Regards,
REg

Gwhiz

I'd start by working my !!!!!!!! off doing any and every job you can find until you return all the money you have stolen from your parents.

I cannot even begin to understand how you could do such a vile thing to them...but you can maybe start to make reparations by earning the money and some self-respect along the way!

adambro

I think the website you're looking for is http://www.gamcare.org.uk/.

Don't try to involve the police though would be my suggestion. If your parents make a statement to the effect that the money was taken without their permission then the police might want to charge you I guess and then you could end up convicted for it and still probably have to repay it. The banks aren't simply going to refund this money. They're going to want it back from somewhere. You ending up convicted for something isn't going to help your parents. You need proper counselling to deal with your gambling problem and you need to find yourself a job to repay your parents.

Savvy_Sue

You might benefit from Gamblers Anonymous, and your family might find Gam-Anon useful as well - that's for giving support to the family and friends of compulsive gamblers. I think the gamcare is more of an online support, although I could be wrong about that.

Is there anyone else who could take over the care of your parents' finances? Have they had any kind of assessment of their needs from Social Services recently? If not, now would be the time to ask for one, especially with you needing to move out.

Crabman

Hi Reg, I've moved this thread from Savings & Investments to the 'MoneySaving in Marriages, Relationships & Families' Board

Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere (please see this rule) so this thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].

Hungerdunger

Call me Mr Cynical, but I'd have thought that First-time poster + Gambling addiction + manic depressive + disabled and suicidal mother + disabled father with lung cancer + threat of imprisonment + plea for help ("I would cut off my head if someone would pay for it") = slightly suspicious post.

If I'm wrong, then I apologise in advance.

paigexstewart

Maybe it is a regular poster on here that wants to keep their identity hidden?

Anyway I think what he has done is disgusting. Taken advantage of two innocence disabled people and his own PARENTS!!

They should have chicked him out as soon as they found out.

But my cynical side is starting to show a little... hmmmm who knows?

Someone who would make this up is just as sick as someone who would actually do it.

Zara33

regempty wrote: »

The 12 thousand pounds were taken out over 1 24 hour period. I just think the bank could have phoned and let my parents know what was going on? They wont refund anything despite me telling them that it was me who stole the money.
REg

Seriously can a person withdraw 12 thousand pounds within 24 hours?

The bank already got in contact with your mother and she did nothing, why should the bank repay the money that you stole!

Agree with other poster gotta be a wum.

paigexstewart

Zara33 wrote: »

Seriously can a person withdraw 12 thousand pounds within 24 hours?

The bank already got in contact with your mother and she did nothing, why should the bank repay the money that you stole!

Agree with other poster gotta be a wum.

Good point!!

On the day we moved house I was using my card for lots of things on the day. Milk, bread. Extra paint silly things that didnt cost alot maybe came to about £200 if that!!!


The bank blocked my card and I had to ring to confirm it was me using it because I don't normally withdraw like that IYSWIM?

So if they so that for a measly £200 im sure they would for £12000!!


The 12 thousand pounds were taken out over 1 24 hour period. I just think the bank could have phoned and let my parents know what was going on? They wont refund anything despite me telling them that it was me who stole the money.
REg


If me and oh spent £12000 on oh's card do you think I could ring and say it was me and they would repay it? I don't think so lol

malik999

/Bait. (He caught quite a few)

skint,single_mum_of_4

Were u a Millionaire?..bought yr brother a car ? paid his mortgage ? gave yr parents a loan ? (why did they need a loan they had life savings ? )

Think its terrible what u have done,you should be locked up !