Thinking about a complete lifestyle change...

Lois_and_CK

You mentioned you'd like to live somewhere more rural, which obviously means selling your house and transferring your mortgage. Have you thought about actually being approved for a mortgage transfer? You say you've had no access to credit for the last few years, and with a mortgage transfer (depending on your provider) they tend to re-do the mortgage application - meaning credit checks. So it could well be that you can't get a new/transferred mortgage anyway - unless you're thinking of renting?

With regards to your work, have you thought about a portfolio career (having a few part-time jobs)? This is something I did when I reached my rut in life and was bored out of my mind with my full-time office job. I now have three jobs - one of them working for myself as a freelancer - and I love the variety. I don't get chance to get bored in any of my jobs as none of them take up my full working week. Could you teach part-time and work for yourself the rest of the time?

Emmacw

Hi Maddysaver

Your post really struck a chord with me because much of what you say is similar to me and hubby (although finances are different).

We have just spent 10 days off work together with DD11 and it took me till BH Monday (from Thurs) to feel 'right' and not stressed out. Both hubby and I seem to be stress bunnies for some reason and find work life balance a real struggle (and basically don't have a balance).

We have been good financially, paid off our mortgage 2 months ago, have £14k in savings and continue to save as much as possible with the hope that one day we will have the money and ability to 'get away from it all'.

I currently feel trapped by my job (Civil Service - good pension, good at what I do but want something different), my in-laws (lovely but not in good health and live nearby) and DD being in secondary school.

I feel we can't upsticks due to DD schooling (Y7) and in laws. I am not that well qualified (NVQ3) in terms of real transferable skills (unlike you being a teacher) and feel institutionalised in terms of my employer having been there since I was 17 (23 years).

Hubby is skilled construction and could turn his hand to most things (ex-HM Forces) but has v bad back and physio has told him he needs to move away from heavy work ASAP (pref in next 5-10 years).

I earn more than hubby being middle management so feel even if we could survive on less money it would be my money that remained constant not hubby's due to his health problem and that means staying in my job which means staying where we are.

We have talked and decided we will have a goal to save £15k per year (thats a big stretch but do-able) and after 5 years DD will be in college and we can start to make plans for the big get away. (I earn £27k, hubby varies but currently approx £26k)

Makes me feel a bit better but doesn't stop me wishing I could run away now (that is how I feel at mo). If money wasn't an issue I would upsticks now, go travelling round uk, find the right place to move to (small town like you) and plonk us down there.

But real life gets in the way doesn't it? So I plot and plan and try to reduce our outgoings and make money go further in hope it will bring the day we can change our life that bit closer.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts - I've not told anyone other than hubby how I feel and even him not everything. Feel its easiest if I keep it locked away - less trouble I guess.

Take care and I hope you achieve your dream in the timeframe you want.

Emma

Sammy02

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Hollyberry

The suggestion to set yourself a timeframe sounds good. If you can get yourselves on a sound financial footing before you move, it will make the transition much easier. It will also give you time to check out exactly where you want to be, and what job/contract work options might be open to you. And there will be time to save up for the moving costs, too.

We're part way through the same process. OH is self-employed (working mostly from home) and I'm just about to be made redundant. We are readying the house for sale, and I have worked out two jobs that I can do from a place in the country. We are lucky in that we don't have any debt and our mortgage is quite small, but I am still spreadsheeting away to make sure we have a cushion while I start earning. We've really cut back on our spending, and much of that has come from following the advice on here.

Best of luck to you, and I hope you have fun following your dreams. And Emma, good luck to you too - I hope you can put those stress bunnies away, and find what you want.

poe.tuesday

it may not be something you want to do but have you thought of leaving the UK? the reason I say this is because house prices here mean that you are always going to have to work but house prices in some parts of europe are so much cheaper...but you would be surprised as to where they are very cheap ....Sweden! you can buy a home outright in sweden (say 2 hours from stockholm) for under 30K with 1/2 acre of land - schooling for children is wonderful, the way of life is wonderful too and despite it having very high taxes it offers you so much in return - we are planning to move as for us, it's a no brainer, why stay here working your !!!!!! off and for what??? a home that is going to take 25 years to pay off and for children to have to be driven to school because it's too dogdy for them to walk to school???

the other advantage os sweden is that they all speak english, there are job opportunites and lots of business incentives too

life is far too short working all the hours of the day just to be able to scrap by - there are attractive alternatives out there

if you need any more info on sweden let me know, I have done a load of research on it

Pee

If you recently requalified, does this mean your OH supported you then?

I think the discrepancy in wages must make life difficult.

Do you feel disillusioned by becoming a teacher? Is it not what you expected? Might this be a phase? I know my job is right for me, after 11 years, but sometimes I get stressed and feel like running away. I know now that it is just a phase and will pass.

That said I do live in the country and I do agree about the quality of life, but at a cost. It often means expensive travel to work and/or very low wages. What does your son feel about it? Would he like more time with you or is he getting older and more independent? Having been a teenager in the country, I would want my children to be teenagers in a town, where they could meet up with friends without a constant taxi service. (Although maybe the place you'd like would be fine for this.)

maddysaver

Wow...hi again... my thread has been bumped up and I'm so grateful to everyone - especially the last few posters..I am still thinking very hard about it all and not quite decided but have made a start on budgeting and saving and feel positive about that.

I'm really genuinely interested in the Sweden idea - I had vaguely thought about abroad, but not looked into it really beyond thinkng about more obvious places like Australia and the USA which I don't really want to do. But Sweden sounds like it requires some thought and research.

In response to Pee... my husband didn't support me (financially) in retraining...I retrained 'on the job' as I already worked in a school. But it was really tough - I had to hold down the job I was already doing in the school and do the teaching and teacher-training on top of it. (And yep - I do resent it as I also still did -and do- the lions share of housework and child care!). I feel a little burnt-out really....maybe I need a change of husband!!!

My son would really like to move, although I still think at his age (9) he's too young to really think it through or partake in the decision in a meaningful way. I do think you're right about somewhere totally in the sticks and how it could be isolating for him.
I definitely don't feel disillusioned about teaching - I love it in loads of ways and I am lucky to work in an extremely good and nice school - although it does involve long hours and quite a lot of 'extras' which other schools don't - so swings and roundabouts. But no - it's not really the career itself. I believe if I had a break and did something totally different for a while, I'd almost certainly go back to some kind of teaching. I just think right now pretty much everything is just a bit much and grinding me down and I feel my life tick-tocking away and I'm sure that there is a lifestyle which would fulfill me much more and enable me to be 'me' again....
hmmm so much thinking...

poe.tuesday

PM me if you want more info on sweden