Thinking about a complete lifestyle change...

maddysaver

Hello All
I'm a regular reader (less often contributor) to these forums and I glean such fabulous advice from it all the time. I wasn't sure where to post this but this seemed a reasonable place. Please move my post if it would be better elsewhere.

I'm not sure whether I'm after some advice, listening ears or what really... but here goes.

I am married with a 10 year old... I am the main earner in the house - earning about £38,000 which is about just under 3 times what hubby does. I have built a good career and retrained recently to do even better. I'm not what I'd call 'ambitious' career-wise but I like to be busy doing things and have taken on some extra positions of responsiblity where I work to increase earnings and somehow have worked my way to a good middle-management position.

However, I'm fundamentally unhappy with the way my life is going. I'm probably 'burnt out' but I feel a bit stuck financially and am not sure how/if I can change things.
I feel I work too many hours and can't switch off and although I love my job I would shorten my hours/ do something less stresseful like a shot if it was possible.
However due to having some debts which although are now 'under control' things are always fairly 'tight' and we can't access much credit (hurrah really to that).

What my ideal would be is to move house to somewhere like a quiet village and go for a slower pace of life. I would love to work from home or maybe part time and in an absolutely ideal world I'd love to home educate our son. I'd also like to grow my own veg and do that kind of thing :rolleyes:. Even if this was only for a few years to give me space to stop and think I feel it would really help me.
Obviously me giving up my job is the big stumbling block.

I'm wondering if anyone has any experience of doing something life-changing like this or any advice or anything really or whether I'm just having a mid-life crisis.

Bit of background:
We own a house - but it's just slipped into negative equity unless we're lucky and things pick up swiftly!
We live in a smallish town.
I've lots of skills/qualifications and can turn my hand to lots of things but I can't think of anything that would make enough money.
My hubby, whilst understanding of how I feel, is very scared of making a life-altering change to the way we live and also is thinking long term and worried about pensions and money generally...

I'd appreciate any pearls of wisdom if anyone has any... and sorry for rambling on

lorac3

Hi no advice as such but I too feel like a complete life overhaul ! I am in a rut at home and at work too. Luckily our house is paid and we owe nothing so I am soooo tempted to sell up , get a mobile caravan and hit the roads. then reality kicks in and I still have 24 yr son at home and pets. I also worry about when we are old. I think that lots of people go through thinking about doing things differently but there are only a few brave ones who go for it. Do what you think is right for you and your family.

Emmzi

ok - you have 150 = 160k a year coming in - but have debts/ negative equity

Until you feel more financially secure I'm not sure you'll be confident enough to make a big change.

Personally I'd have a good look at lifestyle, a read of debt free wannabe, and work out how to get the debts and the mortgage to a manageable level first. Then, all sorts of things become possible.

maddysaver

Emmzi wrote: »

ok - you have 150 = 160k a year coming in - but have debts/ negative equity

Until you feel more financially secure I'm not sure you'll be confident enough to make a big change.

Personally I'd have a good look at lifestyle, a read of debt free wannabe, and work out how to get the debts and the mortgage to a manageable level first. Then, all sorts of things become possible.

Gosh I wish...no... I earn £38,000 which is nearly 3 times more than hubby (he earns about 15,000)... so our total is £53,000....
Obviously we're now managing - after a period of debts and earning a lot less than this. But the problem would be in me leaving my job for something considerably less - obviously a big shortfall. Although I am happy to cut back a lot I'm still not sure it would be possible

Lorac3 - I think you're right - lots of people do think about it. I guess I was hoping I might find the inspiration and guts to go for it..!!

Joannag_2

Could you not take a sabbatical from work for say a year? Rent out your house and have a 'trial run' without giving up altogether?
What is your current occupation?

Emmzi

lol, ok, I see my misreading now!

well done on getting your feet a bit clearer!

Could you find someone to bounce ideas off? eg women's mentoring network locally? We can give you a lot of theoretical support but a coach or mentor from your local business community might be more worthwhile.

maddysaver

Joannag wrote: »

Could you not take a sabbatical from work for say a year? Rent out your house and have a 'trial run' without giving up altogether?
What is your current occupation?

I actually hadn't thought of this idea...although I don't think we'd make enough in rent to pay the mortgage on the house.. but worth looking into. I'm a teacher. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't hold my job open whilst I took a sabbatical but I'm sure I'd find another job in the same field if necessary....

Could you find someone to bounce ideas off? eg women's mentoring network locally? We can give you a lot of theoretical support but a coach or mentor from your local business community might be more worthwhile.

I don't know about these -I've not heard of them. It sounds a good idea. Do you mean to find ideas of ways to make some money from being self employed?

lorac3

What about home tutoring ? Can you register in another area to see if they are needed ? No expertise in this area tho' just an idea.

Keeping_Motivated

Have you done a full SOA and worked out exactly when you would be debt free? Could you then afford to move and go part time? If you had a goal it might be worth working for a bit longer to be financially more secure when you overall your life and go for a more relaxed pace?

Joannag_2

I had a feeling you were a teacher (I am too!)
Post your question on the tes forum, see if anyone has done anything similar.
I don't teach mainstream anymore -found a post which only requires me to be there 9 - 3.30, no staff meetings etc.Less stress. I guess you are UPS3 which I admit makes it harder to get jobs now.
The tes site might also give some tips on asking for a year off! Good luck..you only live once!

red_bertie

SOA a good idea. You need to know if and where you can cut back, before you try any major life/income changes. Also start to nip and tuck the finances now while you've got the incomes. Saving pennies when you want to is a lot more 'fun', rather than when you absolutely have to. I would suggest trying to live part of what you aspire to [say grow your own] and see how it goes, rather than going full hog to start with. Life in a village can be very isolating, how would your 10 year old feel about missing school activities and chums? You could probably get pt locum teaching, but will your OH be able to get work? If your personal income drops, your OH's £ contribution will be important. How does he/your son feel about your 'dream'? I don't want to be a killjoy, but just think you need to give more thought and strategic £ planning to this. Good luck with what you are thinking of doing - streamlining your life, it may not be an ambitious career move, but it can be very rewarding and personally challenging.