Thinking about a complete lifestyle change...

maddysaver

Thank you so much for all your comments so far.
You're right in saying I haven't thought it through logistically as yet.... or rather I've tried but I hit the major stumbling block of 'if I give up work and try and build something up part time we have NOTHING to fall back on'. Which I guess gives me the answer - I need to cut the budget right back because we actually only pay about £100 a month on debts now (although these are both with DCAs and have a long time to run so I should be thinking of claring these quicker too) so on paper even with a relatively expensive mortgage we should have surplus to save - but we still don't.
I'll do an SOA although I know being a DFW person for quite a while I have already cut back loads and swapped utilities where relevant and do Quidco and clicks - I know the problem is all the 'little things' adding up.

I will look at the TES site.

Regarding my husband and son - my son has never really 'enjoyed' school although he has friends and makes friends well. We have talked to him - although not in masses of detail as I wouldn't want him to feel unsettled whilst it's just a dream - but overwhelmingly he would love to move and do this. Husband is cautiously 'into' the idea but equally would be happy staying put.

I think although I know my ideal would be as in my first post, I would also settle for a halfway option of part time work and moving house - I really think the two would have to be linked - I don't think we could stay put and for me to go part time. I think it would involve renting somewhere for a while - which also scares me as getting off the property ladder right now might mean not getting back on ...oooooh so confused...

maddysaver

Joannag wrote: »

I had a feeling you were a teacher (I am too!)
Post your question on the tes forum, see if anyone has done anything similar.
I don't teach mainstream anymore -found a post which only requires me to be there 9 - 3.30, no staff meetings etc.Less stress. I guess you are UPS3 which I admit makes it harder to get jobs now.
The tes site might also give some tips on asking for a year off! Good luck..you only live once!

To answer this specifically - hello fellow teacher! Your job sounds lovely! I work in an independent school with comparatively long hours and weekend/evenings and I'm on I guess the equivalent of UPS with quite a number of points for being a HoD and various other responsibilities.... it would be hard to get something that pays so well in future I imagine.. although not impossible.... and a small part of me does feel it would be a waste of all my hard work to give it up.

I think there is part of me worrying that if I leave it until retirement or even early retirement if I'm lucky then I might have left it too late to enjoy the kind of life I want. I also would love to spend more time with my son before he's too old :rolleyes:

jd2009_2

Although i am not a teacher, i was a nursery nurse in quite a large school in london, my husband a lorry driver, we always wanted somewhere nice to bring up our son ( now 6) my two older girls now being 22 and 18 years old.

We thought what should we do, risk everything and just up route or stay put in our mundane jobs, we decided to do just that and moved 70 miles away, sold our house became debt free, brought a tea rooms in a small town, and rented a house in the country side. my son goes to a small rural school everyone is freindly we have made loads of freinds, and life can not get any better, as i said we live in the countryside 5 miles from the sea, business is a sucess, best thing we ever done. i would say stop wondering go for it you only live once.

best regards.
julie xx

nzmegs

MY husband left his very well paying job to become self employed. His income is now 1/4 of what it was and is supplemented by my income (i didn't have to work previously). he is less stressed by his job however does need to work very long gours sometimes because of money pressures. We now have quite alot of debt which we are finding very hard to clear.
Yes, myself and my husband work within 5 mins of our home, the kids see us all the time, I also work as a freelance writer (which is satisfying but not lucrative) and we "like" each other alot more. But the money issue is hard to resolve. I know that if my husband went back to his old job even for one year we would clear our debts - but is that worthwhile?
Our other dream is to buy a houseboat and live on the canals - right now pipedreams are all we can afford.
You need to think through the financial implication carefully and try to have 3-6 months money saved before leaping off the career ladder. Alos make sure you are aware that you need to cut back your old lifestyle. We have learned to our detriment that doing this is easier said than done.

maddysaver

Buying a little business in a country town is actually something we have thought of - although I would need to look into it in a lot more detail before doing it.

We had a long chat about finances last night actually and we've decided to think about planning for what we want instead of just jumping in with both feet. Our finances should allow for us to save a reasonable amount -especially if we both do lots of little extras to earn more and cut back - and that would, as you all say, make the move a bit less scary.

Cutting back and changing our lifestlye is something we've practised in recent years anyway. We have almost no access to credit and haven't done for 4 years, so we think about everything we buy and only buy if we have the cash. Even so - I think we could cut back more and save more.

I'm bubbling with excitement that it could happen and just a bit frustrated it can't happen right now - but then I'm a bit impatient!!!

anguk

I know someone who worked her way up to headmistress, long hours & lots of stress, she gave it all up to open a small garden centre with her husband. During the winter months when business is quiet she does locum teaching.

As someone who's husband is quite ill I would say go for it because life really can be far too short but I can understand the worries about money. Personally I would make as many changes & cutbacks as possible to pay off as much as you can as quickly as you can then go for it. Otherwise you'll find 10 years have passed and you'll still be finding reasons to stay as you are, debts to be paid, house not worth much etc.

I can also understand the worry about coming off the housing ladder but is it better to own your own home & be miserable or rent & be happy? I know what I'd choose, health and happiness are far more important than houses & bank balance.

Keeping_Motivated

I suppose it would be interesting pretending you have already gone part time and seeing if you can live off that amount of money. Sort of test to see if you are all up to the challenge of living a more frugal lifestyle?

skintchick

What does your husband do? Is there any way he can earn more than 15k? I don;t know where you're based but round here that is equivalent to working in a supermarket so could he not get something a bit better and bring some more money in?

I'm all for being happy with what you do, but you do need to be able to pay the bills as well.

ailuro2

If you've not got to the point where you have plenty of money left over every month but are earning £53K a year between you, then downsizing and living frugally would be a massive shock for you. Shocks like this can test even the strongest of marriages.
Do you resent earning 'nearly three times as much' as your OH? ( well, 38K isn't 'nearly' 45K in my book, which is why I'm asking - don't you think your partnership needs to be equal - who earns what isn't relevant when living 'the simple life')

Buying a house in a village - but where could you afford one, won't the nicer ones have inflated prices because of weekend homeowners?

Will your son have access to people his own age, or will he be dragged to the back of beyond with few facilities because his Mum was a bit restless?
Is it fair on your son to put him through this?

If this sounds negative, it's because I meant it to - you really need to look at the worst things, not at how nice it would be to have a cottage with roses round the door and some chickens - roses have thorns and chicken poop really stinks! Once you accept that and can deal with it, then you're ready to make the move.;)

ps, on another forum my signature says -

Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you have.

maddysaver

Back again and catching up on replies - thank you again for all of them as it's really helping me to think this through.

I do actually resent being the main earner and my maths isn't so good hence the miscalculation of how much more . The reason I resent it is because I had to go back to work full time quite soon after having my son and have been under pressure to do more and earn more since otherwise we would have gone under. I would have liked just a year or two of going part time. That said - I knew that would be case when I had my lad and I took that on nonetheless so although there is some resentment it doesn't eat me up. I guess the reason for mentioning it in my opning post was to illustrate how difficult the decision would be for me to give up/cut hours. It's a much less difficult decision if the roles were reversed as the drop in income would be that much smaller.

Hubby could probably earn a bit more but likes his job. I'd rather not say what he does as it gives a bit much away about me and he reads these forums sometimes, but he has worked in supermarkets too although that's not what he does now. He doesn't have any qualifications and doesn't really want to do anything else. Plus to be fair to him, his hours do mean we don't need after school care, although now our son is older that's not an issue.

In terms of looking at the downsides - I have done that. I have read lots about people having disasterous moves to the 'countryside' and I wouldn't be looking for an isolated place with no life... a smaller 'town' rather than a cottage in the sticks is what I'm thinking.

Anguk - your post stuck a chord with me for lots of reasons - mostly my dad died when I was quite young and I think as a result of that I do have 'life is too short' attitude and worry that if I don't do this now whilst I'm ready for it (and when I say 'I' although I haven't gone into detail it really is a 'we' thing - we all agree we would like/need a change of lifestyle) then anything could happen and we won't be able to do it.

My thinking is still to set a deadline of maybe 12months- 2 years (whatever is more realistic when sums are done) to cut everything back, save as much as possible and pay off as much as possible and look into everything really carefully - e.g. places to live, possible business opportunities and making sure the places we look at are right for us. If it still all seems possible then we would go for it...