Family situation... how to deal with it?

Soubrette

I think she's old enough to understand that rules are different at one house compared to the other house.

Have a set of clothes for her at yours and send her home in the same things she was wearing when she came. Don't comment on the clothes she comes in but she'll have a choice of what she wears at yours - even more fun if she gets to go shopping with you. If she asks just say that she has two homes so needs two sets of things.

I think you are absolutely doing the right thing when she says things about who mummy says she should love the most. Although not so explicit my ex is similar in his emotional blackmail and one of my daughters despises him for it, the other still feels sorry for him but likes to spend less and less time there for a variety of reasons.

My attitude is (and always will be) I love you both and so I am happiest when you are happy, I love having you live with me and you are always welcome home but if you are unhappy here and happier at Dad's then I'm happier if you are there (what a crazy amount of happies :eek:). He is their parent too and has as much right to do things his way as I have to things my way - children with two homes soon cotton on that things are just different.

Good luck

Sou