Is it worth it?

Muffin99

I'm scared of wasps too! And spiders, but only the big ones when they're indoors. One time I was in bed and an enormous spider just came down on it's thread beside my face :eek: I screamed and leapt out of bed SO fast that I crashed into the shelving near my bed. My family wondered what the hell was going on!!! I've never been bruised so badly in my life and it took nearly 2 years for the bruise to go completely! All because of a spider!

As for the wasps, we make sure to collect any windfall apples so as not to attract more than needs be

I've been thinking that with Megansmum being courageous confronting her phobias and me encouraging about other insects not causing any harm, then maybe I ought to take encouragement from others on here about wasps and spiders! The thing with wasps though is they have this menacing way of hovering round you and don't want to go away. Whereas bees just get on with their nectar collecting and fly by! If only wasps didn't do that I think I would cope.

Muffin99

Forgot to say...... so pleased they turned out to be the ants larvae Megansmum :j

Happy growing everyone!

Mojisola

Megansmum - I commend you on not wanting to pass your phobia on to your daughter - but running round the garden freaking won't work! It's not going to be possible to grow veg without having contact with all sorts of creepy-crawlies. If you can't help reacting to them it may be better not to try gardening as a hobby or your little girl is going to be as phobic as you are about insects.

Muffin99

I don't mean to be contradictive, but I think if Megansmum explains to her daughter why she reacts like that, and that Mum wants to overcome her fears because there is no need to be frightened of insects I think her daughter will understand and maybe even help her Mum. Children are sensitive to others feelings and like to help and I think they can understand others are sometimes affected differently without copying them. The main thing is Megansmum has a clear perspective of her phobia and wants to teach her daughter differently.

Lotus-eater

Muffin99 wrote: »

I don't mean to be contradictive, but I think if Megansmum explains to her daughter why she reacts like that, and that Mum wants to overcome her fears because there is no need to be frightened of insects I think her daughter will understand and maybe even help her Mum.

Children rely on their parents for everything and pick up everything from them. Nice idea, but I don't think that's going to happen.

Megansmum

Hi all - update on the phobia front:

Today I picked up a spider Ok.... it was only a money spider but i let it run around my hand before i set it on the grass.

Then in the garden i stood still for 5 minutes while a bumblebee was buzzing about 5 foot away. I watched it slowly buzzing round the grass and Megan was out there too... although she ignored it because she was picking stones out of the soil and laying them in a line on the slabs!

Tomorrow I hope to pick up a spider that is a bit bigger and work my way up slowly. Honestly (for the doubters) I really think i can do this. My baby being my incentive is the best incentive i could have.

Quick question - what is "picking off side shoots"?

Best wishes and happy growing. xx

Mojisola

Megansmum wrote: »

Hi all - update on the phobia front:

Today I picked up a spider Ok.... it was only a money spider but i let it run around my hand before i set it on the grass.

Then in the garden i stood still for 5 minutes while a bumblebee was buzzing about 5 foot away. I watched it slowly buzzing round the grass and Megan was out there too... although she ignored it because she was picking stones out of the soil and laying them in a line on the slabs!

Tomorrow I hope to pick up a spider that is a bit bigger and work my way up slowly. Honestly (for the doubters) I really think i can do this. My baby being my incentive is the best incentive i could have.

Quick question - what is "picking off side shoots"?

Best wishes and happy growing. xx

Congratulations! That is amazing.:A

About side shoots - plants like tomatoes really want to grow into wide bushy plants but we want one tall shoot on them so we nip out the bits that grow on the main shoot. I'll try to find a site that has pictures. Just to make it more difficult, some tomatoes are "bush tomatoes" and you don't remove the side shoots from them!

Found these: https://www.gardenaction.co.uk/images/tomato_side_shoot.jpg
https://www.gardenaction.co.uk/fruit_veg_diary/fruit_veg_mini_project_july_1b_tomato.asp

Do those help?

Lotus-eater

Cool, isn't watching a bee like that fascinating?

Really well done on the spider.

ixwood

That's fab. Well done!

Aren't bumble bees cute? So industrious. As well as "uping" the spiders, maybe you can do the same with the bee distance. You'll be able to get 5 inches from the bees on blossom and they still won't notice/care. You can even stroke them.

How about holding/moving a worm next? There's one of your best friends in the garden (especially if you're a "no dig" gardener like me!). They drag leaves and other organic matter down into their tunnels, which aerates, feeds and improves the structure of the the soil.

One of Darwins experiments was with worms. He wanted to prove that even a humble worm had some element of intelliegence (as intellignce was one of the traits said to make us unique and unanimal like). Some worms close/hide their burrows with leaves and Darwin proved that they actually knew to pull the leave down stalk 1st to make it easier.

ixwood

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Cool, isn't watching a bee like that fascinating?

Really well done on the spider.

I couldn't agree more. I sometimes stop and sit/kneel by the plant they're on for 5-10 minutes and just watch.