NRP - csa1 to csa2

Blob

Hi everyone seems I have touched a nerve or two, well here goes with a few answers, if you dont like them I am sorry but that is not my problem.

Loopy Girl;

Thank you for your kind words, I like to try to keep an open mind, and it has been said by a number of people that I would seem to have a balanced view of life. I freely admit that on occasions the CSA make that view very unbalanced. As for my spelling, I was a Commando not an english teacher, and for my sins dyslexic, and was the guine pig for the reforms that have happend in the education system for all dyslexics to have their exam written for them. If you get the meaning then I at least am happy.

Soubrette

At the very least you recognise the fact that the children have two parents, something that if you check this thread others would seem not too, as they seem to think and state that the children are the property of the mother only. My opinion is that these people are very sad and need a reality check, did the mothers manage 'Imiculate Conseption' or what? It takes two and both should help with the care of the children. The children should never be used as a weapon as they are in so many cases today, and from the number of people that come to me for help believe me I know that this is the case.

JPmummy

Thank you, as it seems that you understand what I am trying to put across. The simple fact is that both sides need to be able to live after the end of an relationship. If they cant then the children will not benifit, fact.

Kellogs

Told you it would happen that we would agree on some points, and here we are, we do.;)

I have two children that I have had to fight to the gates of Hell for and on occasions through the gates, in the Courts and with the CSA, as my ex has tried ever trick in the book to stop me from seeing them, even when the kids have asked for more time with me she tried to fight it so she would not get any less from me vier the CSA! Some Mother hay:cool:!

I have fed my kids and clothed them, they have turned up in cloths that have needed replacing, washing and repairing, and Dad has done all of that. Yes I have taken my kids on camping holidays in Cornwall and Normandy as that is all in the first place I could afford and then when I met my present partner we could afford, while my ex, while on benifits was of on winter hollidays and hols in the Med she also had new cars. My comments, sure you can guess.

There are both good and bad on both sides of the CSA coin, but the overriding factor is that the NRP has to be able to live and pay their way before they can provide for others, that is a simple fact of life.

Lastly, if the CSA are not responsible for the deaths of the people that have been atributed to them, answer this for me. Just why has the Govenment removed the Crown Imunity from the CSA for this? No smoak without fire!;)

Soubrette

Blob wrote: »

Soubrette

At the very least you recognise the fact that the children have two parents, something that if you check this thread others would seem not too, as they seem to think and state that the children are the property of the mother only. My opinion is that these people are very sad and need a reality check, did the mothers manage 'Imiculate Conseption' or what? It takes two and both should help with the care of the children. The children should never be used as a weapon as they are in so many cases today, and from the number of people that come to me for help believe me I know that this is the case.

It would be nice if you occasionally acknowledged that sometimes the PWC has the thankless task of providing physically, financially and emotionally for the children that are the product of two parents. Whilst I am 'lucky' that my ex does provide some input it is nowhere near the 50% effort it took to conceive them.

As so many of us PWCs say - there are good PWCs and good NRPs, there are bad PWCs and bad NRPs. People like you seem only to say there are poor hard done by NRPs and evil money grubbing PWCs.

Of course that hits a nerve on those of us who feel as if we are doing more than our fair share (see physically, financially and emotionally again).

It makes me livid tbh. I can't wait to see the day when men and women are treated absolutely equally by the courts - how many of these NRPs will be going for custody then? Knowing they will be judged impartially in the same way the PWC is? Some will I know but not as many as you would think from the outraged cries of 'its ok if I don't pay a penny towards the upkeep of my children because it all goes to the PWC anyway'.

If the PWC spends not one penny on the children in their care then report them for child abuse, if it were me I would immediately be going for custody.

If the children are fed, clothed and housed, however inadequately in your opinion then money is being spent on them and the NRP should pay a fair share of this expense.

However, angry as this topic makes me I feel that my last few posts are less about helping those with problems with child related benefits and more about ranting about the ex so I shall take a few breaths, remember that he is not as bad as some out there and bow out of these debates

Sou

kelloggs36

jpmummy wrote: »

That is as maybe, in my view its a joke, would social services or the police take me seriously if I told them that the mother supplies drink and drugs?? nah didn't think so

If you told them that she supplied drugs then you may find that to be a postive answer as in the eyes of the law the 18 year old is indeed allowed to drink alcohol. Have you actually reported the drug abuse? From your posts it would appear not as you don't believe that they will take you seriously - perhaps you should try before making such comments.

kelloggs36

jpmummy wrote: »

[QUOTE

But kids just dont go away when they are 18. I am way way older than that (yeuk) and my parents still help me out now and then when i am having troubles (bless them).

well thats lovely that you find that your parents still help you out and great that they can afford to do so, however, the amount we are paying are ridiculous having been moved over to CSA 2 at her request to make sure that she was having her last slice of the pie! In my opinion child support should cease when child is 18 regardless. I am fully aware that kids don't go away, however it would mean that the CSA and the smirking PWC would![/QUOTE]
The CSA isn't the only time where an 18 year old is still deemed to be a child, as, if a 'child' goes to university, who is deemed liable to support them whilst they are there? NO, not the NRP but the PWC and the PWC partner - now this is wrong as the partner is not a parent and should not be deemed liable for them but in the eyes of the law they are, so we have to live with these anomylies and get on with it.

kelloggs36

OH, and if a 'child' at university chooses, they can apply for the NRP to provide support to them via the courts, so it doesn't always go away at the age of 19 either!

Blob

My not so little girl is thinking of uni! Her mother has said that she will cut her off when the CSA dont get her any money, funny thing is that Dad has said that he will somehow get her money! Feal that the people that want to give me a hard time should think about that stand point.

One other point is that the CSA will not take into account the money that has been paid direct to PWC and that is some £16,000. They say that as it was not through them it matters not! Really?

Blob

Sou

Please dont bow out of anything, this is a debate from like minded people, that have different stand points.

Please remember that there are bad people on both sides and I only take my side from the dealings with my ex, and the CSA!

It has been admitted in Cour that my Divorce was the Divorce from Hell, and my ex's solicitor has been held accountable for the probs he caused by the Law Society

I also agree with you on the point of 'both sides being treated the same' I will welcome both my kids with open arms and to hell with the cost it brings to me, what ever it is I welcomb it with open arms.

Hope this helps, sorry if it dont.

LizzieS_2

Blob wrote: »

Feal that the people that want to give me a hard time should think about that stand point.

I don't think anybody is trying to give you a hard time. Everyone accepts that there are always exceptions to what they view as usual from their own/friends/relatives situations.

jpmummy

QUOTE=kelloggs36;20773379]If you told them that she supplied drugs then you may find that to be a postive answer as in the eyes of the law the 18 year old is indeed allowed to drink alcohol. Have you actually reported the drug abuse? From your posts it would appear not as you don't believe that they will take you seriously - perhaps you should try before making such comments.[/QUOTE]

I have done in the past, reported lots of dodgy goings on, It is always the same on this forum the PWC and Child/Adult are the people who get the positive comments and thumbs up for screwing the NRP and the system, I have seriously had enough with CSA/PWC/Adult maintaining. There is little point in going over it all again as it just isn't worth it. I just feel that the "system" is a p take all geared for punishing NRP for making a life. In my honest oppinion, if people want to further their education (joke in this case) they should fund it themselves or get a job, and yes I am a parent but would certainly never punish anyone just for the sake of it to keep on pulling the cash in as this woman has.

"The CSA isn't the only time where an 18 year old is still deemed to be a child, as, if a 'child' goes to university, who is deemed liable to support them whilst they are there? NO, not the NRP but the PWC and the PWC partner - now this is wrong as the partner is not a parent and should not be deemed liable for them but in the eyes of the law they are, so we have to live with these anomylies and get on with it. "

In my opinion if you can't afford for them to go to Uni, then there is an answer, NO WE CAN'T AFFORD IT, lets look for another route to get where you want to go. I did, my parents couldnt afford for me to go and I was told so, I went another route to qualify which was getting a job and going to college and working very hard to get where I am now. There is too much namby pambying going on in todays world in my view. I know this won't go down well in todays "PC" route but it is a fact of life.

Soubrette

Blob wrote: »

Sou

Please dont bow out of anything, this is a debate from like minded people, that have different stand points.

Please remember that there are bad people on both sides and I only take my side from the dealings with my ex, and the CSA!

It has been admitted in Cour that my Divorce was the Divorce from Hell, and my ex's solicitor has been held accountable for the probs he caused by the Law Society

I also agree with you on the point of 'both sides being treated the same' I will welcome both my kids with open arms and to hell with the cost it brings to me, what ever it is I welcomb it with open arms.

Hope this helps, sorry if it dont.

Blob it's not you personally and I hope you don't think I've given you a hard time. Different people have different experiences and viewpoints. The CSA has been a difficult organisation to deal with for some PWCs and NRPs without a doubt.

I actually have a very harsh view on PWCs who deny access - contravene a court order and I think care is taken away from you, after all you have proven that you are unable to put the interests of your children first. I have an equally harsh view on NRPs who don't want to pay anything.

I also know at least two Dad's who make much better PWCs than the Mum Being a fantastic parent is not gender exclusive I also know some rubbish dad's too unfortunately.

On the question of bowing out - of course I want to stick around and offer help on this board, if I can and post about my own experiences, it's been a great help to me and I like to put something back in However, I feel it is unhealthy for me personal to get so angry at someone (the girls dad) who frankly is nothing to do with me any more, if he chooses to con his children out of money then so be it, I'll do my best for them but in the end it's between him and his conscience.

Secondly I just feel that this board is really to help those who are having problems with child benefit related issues so people like you and me who have gone through the system, people who've worked in these areas - we all have valuable experiences that can be used as a starting point for someone to research what's happening to them. The debates, although often interesting (at least with the open minded) in my opinion, can get in the way of that, I would hate to think that an NRP doesn't listen to my

Sou

edited to add (as it seemed to have disappeared) I would hate to think that an NRP doesn't listen to my posts because they think I'm an embittered or money grubbing PWC, I do try to answer any questions to the best of my ability - even if I feel that the person asking is asking for (what I feel) are morally askew reasons such as trying to hide their money from the CSA.