Taking my finger off the self-destruct button

startagain_2

Wordsmith,

May I join you? T
This being my favourite diary of all - if you don't do anything else for the moment, just keep posting and we will keep kicking your a**.....

Just because I have closed my diary, it doesn't mean I am going anywhere.

For what it's worth, my two penneth......

You need to stop looking at ALL the things that you are trying to get your head around at the same time and just concentrate on one or two areas and go from there.
I am a huge believer in eating properly and getting exercise - the natural chemicals that are released when you do this have such an anti depressant effect, truly.
Do you really like it when the cats tag along for the walk, or is it an excuse for not doing it proper, like? Or make every other walk, cat free?
Exercise and protein and veg = feel good

Don't worry about the socialising thing either, I am exactly the same. If you do something because you feel you ought to, it won't work. If you want to is a different thing. I find that going out walking MrT leads to the odd conversation and passing the time of day and that does me fine for now. I have one particular friend that calls me unfailingly once a week, and I love talking to her, but I don't really have any other friends that I would call close. I am not bothered in the slightest.

Be what you want to be and do what makes you happy and content. I totally agree about the coming home thing and just sitting and chilling - I am the same, again. If you have been at work all day the it sounds like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. But, you should get yourself some proper food, and not snack or miss out altogether.

Baby steps, remember... is going forward, a bit like the cat walk, slowly, but you will at least be advancing and not retreating.....

Hugs

SA

chevalier

Hi Wordsmith I too can relate to the lack of friends thing, and the can't be bothered with it thing. I guess it also annoys me that it always seems to be ME doing the calling, and I hardly ever get a call back.....you know you call one week the other person calls the next week. I think one of the problems with maintaining friendships is that we are all so busy, you virtually have to plan contact into your life. Otherwise another week goes by and you haven't spoken to anyone.....

Sorry that you haven't got as far with your goals as you would like. I think you are a bit stuck at the moment. So the 15 mins stints of things, will at least mean you have made some progress even if it is only a tiny amount.


chev

Wordsmith

Oooh, hello, Startagain. :wave: Thanks for joining in. I'm so glad you haven't disappeared altogether. I agree one hundred per cent re diet and exercise. The cats aren't just an excuse for not doing walking exercise (at least, they're a jolly good one) - I do love us all going out together. Sometimes lovely landlady's dog comes too - ups the entertainment value no end as he and Brian don't get on.

I would normally tell other people not to try to change too much all at once. I'm not very good at taking my own advice and I also think that a lot of the things I want to change overlap, or at least some things run into others. So I don't think I am aiming for too much. (Even if you overlook the fact that I am still trying to achieve the things I set out to achieve two years ago. Me, I am overlooking that fact.)

I've been getting a bit of exercise already this morning. Every time I sit down to look at the Internet someone comes into the shop and I have to jump up and run out to serve them. Still, I'd better go and do some proper work. There's stock to put away. I will do it energetically to keep with the spirit of the changes I am making. (Don't ask what I had for breakfast. Just don't, all right?)

Wordsmith

And, Chev - hello, Chev. We posted at the same time. Thanks for calling by. How are things with you?

Wordsmith

I started off well. I went home on Friday, did some housework (me - did some housework! Not a lot, and not for long. Still ...) and cooked a meal! A proper meal. Potatoes, carrots and cabbage, with onion and mushroom gravy. Delish. Protein? What's protein? And it was ten o'clock before I sat down to eat it. It's the start, I thought, now I'm on a roll. And then ...

Saturday I was a shop girl for twelve hours, and I had a few things to do after I finished, so I didn't get home until nearly eleven and was cream-crackered. So no housework and a bit of a snack for supper. Sunday I was a shop girl for twelve hours (and I sorted some of the books in the book swap, which was great fun and I now have a teetering pile of books that have found their way to my office for me to read before letting anyone else near them - would I take advantage of my position? No, I would not!) and I didn't leave until getting on for ten o'clock.

On my way out I noticed the tart had her head stuck under some shelving with her bum stuck in the air. Went to see what she was after, and she was trying to reach the mouse poison. _pale_ Looked under the shelf to the side and there was no mouse poison. _pale__pale_ Had there been????? Phoned the vet, who said to try to make her vomit. How was I to do this? By giving her washing-up liquid to drink.:eek: (I hate this kind of instruction. Neat or diluted? How much?) So got home in double-quick time, diluted some washing-up liquid, put bowl on floor and said "Drink up." She wasn't having any of that. So I started dropping chunks of cat food into the water to make her dunk for them and hopefully ingest some of the water. Normally she is not allowed cat food and so the temptation got the better of her and she tried delicately picking out the meat (sticking her nose under the water and blowing bubbles). Eventually she'd swallowed a fair bit of the water, so we sat looking at each other for about an hour while I willed her to barf. Now, she is a robust little dog in most ways but she does have a very delicate tummy and all sorts of dietary indiscretions make her throw up - regularly because she is such a gannet. On this occasion, though, her tummy remained steadfastly intact, and in the end she got bored and went on to bed, while I propped my eyes open for another half an hour so I could check on her. Next morning she was fine. Phoned the vet again, who said to keep an eye on her for the rest of the day to check for abnormal behaviour. I assumed he meant abnormal for her ...

As I was working at the restaurant all day, she had to stay in the car, but I could park it across the road from the office window and look out at her, and I went out every hour or so to give her a dog treat to check she was still willing to eat. Hah! She thought it was great as normally I'd throw her a Bisrock first thing and she'd have to make do the rest of the day.

Anyway, she seems fine today. (Just looking at me hopefully every so often in case I have had a change of heart and am going to lavish her with tasty gifts. Dream on, chicken.)

So that, my friends, is why I haven't eaten properly since Friday night. (That's not to say I haven't eaten.) Although I start each day well with a big bowl of porridge.

Today I am handing out benefits (and will try to smile at [STRIKE]everyone[/STRIKE] most people), at the same time as proofreading an extremely dull (and incomprehensible ) annual report for a pharmaceutical company. That has to be finished by tomorrow morning, which will mean another very late night. I will, however, try to boil up a couple of cabbage leaves for dinner.

Money ...

Plus:
Found a euro in the street.
Lovely boss man gave me a bottle of wine and a bit of a bonus for working extra while he went away for a few days. Felt a bit guilty, as I was paid for all the extra hours I did, and it was only a few days. I was very grateful, none the less.
Got extra wages from shop as worked longer hours this week.

Unplus:
Restaurant client hasn't given me any more of what he owes me.

moo2moo

On the brightside your vet could have suggested that you straddle the tart wedging her firmly between your legs, stuff a funnel in her mouth and then pour in soapy water whilst stroking her throat to make her swallow. Thats a whole barrell full of laughs!

Wordsmith

Mr P has just been into shop and told me Brian had a good sleep down at his place yesterday, but when he arrived for a visit today Mr P was on his way out so just gave him a sausage to eat. Grrrrrr.

Wordsmith

moo2moo wrote: »

On the brightside your vet could have suggested that you straddle the tart wedging her firmly between your legs, stuff a funnel in her mouth and then pour in soapy water whilst stroking her throat to make her swallow. Thats a whole barrell full of laughs!

Yes, vets do have a bit of a sense of humour, don't they? Like when you have to get a specimen of urine from a four-legged creature. When I had to do this for my Irish Wolfhound, the neighbours nearly had me sectioned as I stalked him round the garden with a saucepan which I kept sticking under his nether regions, at which point he'd get shy and move on to the next fence post. And so it went on.

As for the story of the Great Dane with an erection for three days ...

Eltee12

Wordsmith wrote: »

As for the story of the Great Dane with an erection for three days ...

un-lurking to say Thank You Wordsmith, you have cheered me up no end

back to [STRIKE]lurk [/STRIKE]work.....

moo2moo

Wordsmith wrote: »

Yes, vets do have a bit of a sense of humour, don't they? Like when you have to get a specimen of urine from a four-legged creature. When I had to do this for my Irish Wolfhound, the neighbours nearly had me sectioned as I stalked him round the garden with a saucepan which I kept sticking under his nether regions, at which point he'd get shy and move on to the next fence post. And so it went on.

At least you had the intelligence to use a saucepan unlike myself who decided it was far simpler just to go straight for the jam jar. Quite why I thought it was simpler still escapes me but you try wedging a jam jar under the nether regions of a squatting overly hairy female dog the result is one completely empty jam jar and one very wet smelly arm... on not one or even two but three occassions.

Still I'd rather get a urine sample from a dog than give a cat tablets any day.