Taking my finger off the self-destruct button

Wordsmith

Sorry to hear about your parents, Horace. Getting old is such a bummer, isn't it?

lionheartedgirl

breast exam sounds uncomfortable but glad it's done and out of the way

what a nice thing to receive from your friend! can you find something similar from where you live to send back? I have only been to Bath once, for some major R&R/TLC, but it was so wonderful I think I may go back for more of the same this year :j

Wordsmith

I had to cash up last night, so was late leaving again and I was soooo tired. Didn't want to give up just yet on the fending for myself in a grown-up manner, so I compromised and had egg noodles, peas, sweetcorn and red pepper, with a big dollop of tomato ketchup (not quite grown up yet, then). Oh, and a glass of white.

Everyone congregated for the walk this morning. Charlie gave Brian a wide berth, but still got ambushed from behind a clump of grass. And we got eaten alive by midges. I thought it was too early for them, but apparently not.

A guy phoned the shop yesterday and said "Have you got my dog food?" Not unnaturally, I think, I asked him which dog food it was. He said, "The stuff I get normally." "What's that?" I asked. He said, "You know, the usual one." I still didn't know who he was, let alone what dog food he buys. The conversation went on in similar vein for a while until we sorted it out. We often get things like this. Last Sunday a guy came up to the counter and put down a box of caramel Romantica and said "Is this what she wants?" Well how the bally hell am I supposed to know? Although it seems that I did know more than him, because when I pointed out that it was caramel he said, "Oh, she won't like that." Useful information, except I still don't know who "she" is.

I am a shop girl from midday, and before then I am handing out pensions. I have some proofreading coming at some point, but not sure when - it may not be until tomorrow. That dull as ditchwater annual report again - that's a moan, not a complaint as obviously I am very glad to have it.

Moneywise, I owe one of the domestic goddesses €8.60 for some shopping she did for me, and I have to put petrol in the car - probably €30 to last me through the week. Got a free bit of cake for breakfast - I am on a healthy eating quest except when someone gives me something for free - everyone knows that if you haven't paid for it, it hasn't got any calories in it. Besides, it was a favour to domestic goddess as she needed someone to test a new cake to see if it will sell. It was my duty, you understand. (PS It was luvverly.)

True story time: Some American tourists went into a rural Irish bar. One of the tourists went to the gents and on his return said, "I've just been in your gents, sitting down, and there's no lock on the door." "Is that right?" said the bar keeper. "Well, I've never had any !!!!!! stolen from there, yet."

RosaBernicia

Wordsmith wrote: »

True story time: Some American tourists went into a rural Irish bar. One of the tourists went to the gents and on his return said, "I've just been in your gents, sitting down, and there's no lock on the door." "Is that right?" said the bar keeper. "Well, I've never had any !!!!!! stolen from there, yet."

:rotfl: thanks, that's cheered me up today.

Rosa xx

Wordsmith

I got home at 8.15 last night, which was just great. Went for a short walk, watched Charlie and the tart chase each other, hunted for veg around the kitchen and from the laboratory-worthy specimens I found lurking I cooked supper, then read for two hours. Simple, but bliss.

I emailed my solicitor yesterday, as I am fed up with waiting for updates on the house sale. She has responded to the buyer's solicitor and is waiting for her to get back. It is all moving frustratingly slowly - no exchange yet, no completion date. I am back to wondering again whether the buyers are committed. If they don't buy and if they don't want to continue renting the house I am now tempted to move back and live in it myself. Live on what, I am not sure ... I've started afresh before, I am sure I can do it again. Or maybe I will put it on the market anyway. Or maybe I should just stop wondering and wait until I know what is going on. Right, I'll stop wondering - it's pointless as there are too many ifs.

Shop girl today - except I am in the office for this morning as lovely boss man is in. The hound has now perfected the art of jumping through the post office hatch - it's a small hole four feet off the ground and I am concerned she is going to break her leg by getting it caught in the slot where the money is passed through (or where my dinner is given to me as it looks like a prison serving hatch, according to one customer) or she will break a leg by jumping down on the other side. Or I may just cover the hole with a bin bag, but then I can't peek in to check she is behaving herself.

I also have some freelance work to fit in somewhere. Some emails for one of my clients, and the dreaded proofreading for another.

I got petrol today (because I didn't get it two days ago), but I shouldn't have to spend anything else - maybe just a banana to go on my Crunchy Nut for lunch.

Horace

Parents getting old sucks. I seem to have become younger though - I met someone last week for coffee and she thought I was the same age as her - 33!:j then a pushy Polish saleswoman (trying to get me to buy Jo Malone stuff) said that I looked about 45 (I was particulary jumpy as I was heading into Selfridges to use their loos)..I reach the grand old age of 50 this year:eek:

Went to a free networking event on Thursday night - I got the bus there because I was already in town having my hair done. Getting the bus was an experience because it was taking me to part of the city that I had worked in many moons ago but it wasn't somewhere that I had ever been to on the bus. I had to ask the bus driver where to get off and there was a kindly chap on the bus who said that I would travel around the world in 20 minutes when he got off the bus, he told me that I would have to go another 3-4 stops. The bus driver told me where to get off too so I found myself in Star City which is a shopping mall. I had to find a warehouse called Costco so I asked one of the folks off the bus where it was and was told that it was across the road.

Getting into the place was a pain so had to walk down the road and I went into a driveway..turns out I was at the loading bay and was told that I had to walk around the corner to the front entrance - the annoying thing was that where I wanted to be was by the loading bay:mad: There was a free buffet but to be honest the food was naff - I ate cheese and onion quiche which didnt taste of anything and an egg sandwich which tasted of salad cream and no egg although there was egg in it...wish I had chomped on the cake but avoided it. Did get a lift back from the lad who works in the same office as me - so I need to give him some petrol money.

Could curse the ruddy bank holidays because my payment to Virgin Money was one day late so I have now lost my 0% interest and got charged a late payment fee of £12 plus I had to pay £52.77 instead of £25 this month:mad: I thought I had left plenty of time too but my bank had dragged its heels:mad: What is worse is that I have had a letter asking me to transfer a balance for 0% until May 2012 but as I have had this late payment I can no longer do that - I shall ring them and see.

Not much to report here really other than to say that a week Friday I had a brainstorming session regarding one arm of my business, the business plan written on Saturday and a payment of £17.39 to company formation agents on Monday means that I now have a Ltd company.:eek::D

Wordsmith

A man I admired and respected died yesterday morning after a particularly nasty illness. I haven’t seen him for some time but knew the time was imminent. There were lots of issues surrounding the situation, which I can’t go into here as they don’t directly involve me, but which heighten the tragedy of the loss. It has made me immensely sad.

Spurred on by this unhappy event, I made one of my promised phone calls last night to a very dear, elderly friend. My ex-father-in-law, in fact. He was very pleased to hear from me and it was so lovely to talk to him. It was only a few months ago that I saw him (at my dad’s funeral), but I can’t believe it has been so long since I picked up the phone to chat. Sometimes I wonder if I don’t speak to people because I feel something of a failure … and yes, I do know what I would say to someone if they said that to me! It is also something to do with getting bogged down with things and not noticing time pass – which really is just self-indulgent and selfish. But having talked to my friend last night, I do feel that whatever the stumbling block was it has been overcome as long as I make a point of ringing again in a couple of weeks. So, a big (stupid, unnecessary) hurdle overcome. On to the next friend I owe a call to big time …

The phone call made me late home. It was about 9.30, I think – at any rate just light enough to saunter down the lane with the tart and Brian – not far, though, as it was raining and blowing a hoolie (whatever that means). When I got in, needless to say, I didn’t want to cook, but I knew that if I let it slide so early in my efforts cheese on toast would become the norm again instead of a blip in the healthy eating. So I made pasta and sauce from the sorry-looking vegetables that had escaped the night before. When I came to eat it, though, I just wasn’t hungry any more – so I wrapped the plate in tin foil and put it in the fridge – that’s tonight’s dinner sorted, then – result!

I’m a shop girl again today. We open half an hour later on a Sunday, but I still have to leave at the same time as in the week because I have to drive ten miles to the nearest town to pick up newspapers. As I left the house I met my landlady scurrying up the track to the yard, saying over her shoulder “I hope there aren’t any legs out!” – she was just off to work and the rest of the household was still in bed (after “the night before” I suspect) and she was checking to see if any of the cows was calving, but a nice turn of phrase I thought. The weather is thoroughly miserable, but on the drive I saw the heart-warming sight of a young foal feeding from its mother.

One of the domestic goddesses gave me a courgette plant in a pot. I already have some lettuce growing on the window sill – I don’t normally buy lettuce as I can’t eat a whole one before it gets beyond being edible, so I am looking forward to picking the odd leaf and knowing the rest of the plant isn’t going to waste.

And I get paid today!

Wordsmith

Apparently Brian is trying to leave home. This comes as no surprise. Sigh. Apparently, not only is he going to MrP’s for breakfast and naps, but when MrP’s son was doing some building work at the the house the other day Brian went to have a natter with him and then jumped into his jeep and went to sleep. I can just imagine the cross look on his face when he eventually got turfed out.

Wordsmith

Oh, dear. I don’t know what I should have done in this situation … We have a chap, in his early forties, I’d say, who can’t read or write. When he comes in for his Jobseeker’s I have to witness his mark. Well, he was one of the few men in the village who ever bought Penth*use – our one and only top shelf mag. (Probably other people in the village did buy it, but they wouldn’t go to their local shop to do so.)

[One month he came in and bought a second copy of an issue I knew he already had – boss thinks he just didn’t know it was a different one, my imagination thought other things.:eek:]

We stopped selling the mag a few months ago, but he would still come in looking. He’s just been in and bought a women’s magazine – women as in recipes, diet and knitting patterns. Now, he might really want to crochet a baby’s shawl, but as it was actually two mags bundled together I rather suspect he was taken in by the plastic wrapper. I was in an agony of indecision – should I let him buy it and find out when he was, ahem, alone, or should I shout out “That’s not !!!!!!, Patrick, put it back!”? I let him go ahead and buy it, and now can’t stop thinking of the huge disappointment he is facing.

startagain_2

Hi Wordsmith

I am sorry to hear about your loss - as we get older I am afraid it becomes less and less rare that we hear of friends, relatives and acquaintances passing away. It is so sad.

Speaking as someone who has made a fresh start (often from nothing) more than I care to admit, I see it as a challenge and a chance to reroute where neccessary and try not to make the same mistakes again! Now, in my mid fifties, I am probably happier than I have ever been. Yes, there have been brief euphoric spells in my life that were brilliant, but they were more of a high than anything. Psycho doctor has taught me that (well, made me see it) and I realise that it is a day to day contentment that makes up happy and not a buzz that inevitably is followed by the big come down.

My advice is to do what FEELS right - a gut instinct, call it what you will, but you know what I mean I am sure. Money is nothing if you haven't got other stabilising factors in place. Psycho doctor told me that if you are starting over it is like building a house. Get proper solid foundations down first, taking as long as it takes, and then work on the walls, roof and finally, finally the little biddly bits that make it fancy. I took that to mean a roof over my head, paying basic bills, feeding myself and feeling secure. Holidays, treats, men, relationships all come later when I am sorted - and that is still happening and I think it is what you need to do.

Don't cut yourself off but you don't have to be a social butterfly either. I personally think you are doing well, you are trying to get things into order at least, and not just ignoring stuff and feeling sorry for yourself. You mustn't beat yourself up - and that comes from an expert self-flaggellist!

A quick update on me and MrT - we are fine, he has another broken claw but that is on the mend (brittle nails, or what) I am back on part time hours - hopefully news in June of anything else. New cooker bought and arriving on Thursday. A very nice leccy man is coming to wire it in cut price - friend of a friend. The Fatty family are up to the normal shenanigans - she was washing trainers in the machine at 6.15 THIS MORNING - I thought she had a drummer in the kitchen. Everything else is just ticking along. Weather is grotty - grey, cold and rain on the horizon.

Chin up Wordsmith - ignore pets who seek pastures new, like men, they think the grass is always greener..... little do they know....

Hugs

SA