Taking my finger off the self-destruct button

elantan

thats one of the funniest unpluses i have ever read ... thanks wordsmith for sharing your trauma ... i know i shouldnt laugh but the mental image in my head made me chuckle

Radish72

I can't wait for the next Kindle advert campaign

Buy a Kindle, as you can take more underwear away with you, so funny :rotfl:

Horace

I do think those Kindle ads are funny...yep, you need to make more undies to wrap around the kindle to protect it from breakages:rotfl:

Had quite a productive morning - I renewed the compost in my windowboxes and put two plants in one (more need to go in but I cannot decide what to put in there yet) and have planted the other with a free pack of salad leaves from Lakeland (a packet from last year) and mistakenly sowed all the rocket seeds in the same box.

I lined the wooden Taylors Port Box that I found lying in the bin last year with a black bin liner (I was going to use the staple gun but my hands are not strong enough to depress the handle) and I put the remainder of my compost in there and then remembered that I hadn't put any drainage holes in - figured I'd leave it and have planted some dwarf peas (packet free on a birthday card) and some dwarf beans that I got in the hardware shop today and covered the lot with vermiculite. Didnt spend much in the hardware shop - just 2 plants, some seeds, some batteries, a bag of vermiculite and a bucket, I was going to get a watering can and then remembered that I picked up a bright pink one in the cheap shop in the village for 99p, it is only small but big enough for what I want. I hope to be self sufficient in veg and salad this year. Oh I did some washing too which is now on the line (above my planted windowboxes).

Oh, I spoke to mum this morning about dad because he has been very ill and mum said that he was fading away before her eyes. His stupid doctor put him on Warfarin despite his protestations and that is what has been slowly killing him - as a result of the Warfarin he now weighs 7st (he is 6ft 1" and 76 years old). Dad went to see the doc on Friday and was there some considerable time but he is now off Warfarin and back onto the Aspirin - at least he will have some quality of life now that he is off that rubbish. Mum hasnt been too well herself but she is now pacing herself with the garden and only spends a half hour out there before she has to rest. I was asked why I hadnt visited so explained to mum in between the coughs and spluttering that I had a virus and there was no way that I was going to visit until it has completely gone - she told me to get out in the sun which is why I sorted out the windowboxes.

Hoping that the weather is being kind to you Wordsmith and that you haven't found any more of Brian's presents.

Wordsmith

I am just about to go to see an osteopath. Am I worried about being told I have left it too late for treatment? No. Am I afraid about being told soon I will not be able to walk? No. Am I afraid it is going to hurt? No.

What has me coming out in a cold sweat is that I am going to have to stand in front of him in my bra and pants. I don't really do mirrors, but I gave it a trial run in front of one yesterday. The trauma was so great I am only now able to write about it. The first panic was that I was going to have to go to town early to buy a bra. But I managed to find one tucked away in the back of a drawer. It will not help the mental image to say that it is about three sizes too small, but I thought sod it, I am not going to spend on a new one for about five minutes of wear. So I have to stand in front of him (never met him but he has a gorgeous deep French-accented voice) in my too-smalls. No amount of sucking in and not breathing is going to save me. I am done for.

The embarrassment may be too much for me to get back for a while to give a financial update.

startagain_2

Oh Wordsmith - he will have seen it all before and much worse, no doubt. Really, I thought you were far too sensible to get worked up over something like this.
I do hope that you weren't too uncomfortable and let us know how it went?
Hugs
SA

Horace

I am sure he has seen it all before so won't take the blindest bit of notice of your bra and pants and even though he has a sultry french accent he may be old and fat and stink of garlic:D Good luck though.

Please don't mention finances - I can't cope with them right now after making a major boob ('scuse the pun) with my bank account.

Wordsmith

It wasn't the bra and pants I was worried about the osteopath seeing, Horace, it was all the bits that weren't contained by them. I wasn't even sure I was going to make it there, since the bra constricted my breathing so much I thought I might expire on the way.

He didn't ask me to strip at all (only thought he would because when I last went to see an osteopath, about ten years ago, this is what I had to do so that she could see my spine). Only iffy bit was where he asked me to relax my buttocks. I don't think so, Mister! And there was a slightly dodgy moment where he asked me to put one foot in front of the other and then to bend my knees so that I was hunkering down ... had a mild panic attack that I wasn't going to be able to get up again.

Anyway, I am €70 lighter, which in financial terms is an unplus, but I am not going to list it as such because it was €70 so well spent. I can't believe I took two years to try to get this sorted (la, la, la, can't hear you, poorbutrich, la, la, la). The problem doesn't appear to be any of the things I feared (which ranged from being stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of my lift to dying from cancer of the spine), and his manipulation has already made all the crunchy bits much freer - I am pretty sore but hopefully that will go in a couple of days and then we shall see how fixed it is. I don't even have to go back to see him unless I still get the pain.

And just for the record, sexy French voice fitted sexy French body perfectly.:D I think I may still have the pain ...

Had to pay €2.60 for car parking, and bought two birthday cards, which cost €5.98. Had a quick look in the bookshop but managed not to buy any books, so that's a plus.

There's not much else to update. Short-fuse client gave me another €500 of what he owes me. Still a way to go, but he's making some inroads.

Got a proofreading job. Yes, of course, I am very pleased to have it, but I got no warning that it was on its way until it fell into my email inbox on Saturday with a note "It's urgent". I need the work. I want the work. I enjoy the work. But why, oh why, couldn't they have let me know it was on the way. I had to pretend I hadn't seen it until Monday because I was a shop girl all weekend and then was working at the pub all day Monday. I worked on it until the early hours this morning and finished my first read through this afternoon. Now I have to do my second read. I am not going to let them rush me this time - every book I do for them is deemed to be "urgent", so I rush it and send it back before I have really finished and consequently miss things, which makes me feel terrible. So this time they are just going to have to wait for it so I can feel I've done a thorough job. That does, of course, mean working until the early hours again tonight.

So, I'd best crack on.

beanielou

Great news on opsteopath.
So pleased things werent as bad as you thought

startagain_2

Excellent Wordsmith - on all counts.

I went through a course of treatment with an Osteo the year before last and I always had to remember to put my "big knickers" on that day and not to eat anything wind inducing. I was always terrified that I would blow off at any given time during the consultation. Apparently, many people do!!!! He told me some very funny, unrepeatable stories. For that reason I kept my buttocks firmly clenched too!
You have certainly got a few pans on the boil at the moment - I personally like having my finger in a lot of pies - variety is the spice of life, even if it is very tiring and mind fuddling. I was listening to Vanessa Feltz this morning on Radio2 and I think her multi tasking is getting to her now. She has two radio shows ( on different stations) and a TV show daily - this morning she welcomed listeners to the wrong station and then left her mike on while a song was playing - whoops!
Have a good day Wordsmith and I am pleased you are better after the Osteopath.
Write soon
SA

chevalier

Hey Wordsmith. Sorry but your lizard description coupled with the underwear panic attack had me chortling.... I am sure I would be just as bad. In some ways it would almost be worse if the person seeing all the jiggly bit was a bit of all right.....

Good luck with doing all the work
chev