Married the wrong person with dodgy financial history: grounds for annulment?

Kimberley

Bossyboots wrote:

If it came to court, she would have to lie. If she is prepared to do that then she is likely to be prepared to do anything but in reality, faced with the possiblity of perjury charges people normally tell the truth.

I doubt it, people lie in court all the time. I've been there. my ex tried to take my daughter when she was 2. He said his new girlfriend couldn't have kids and wanted mine :eek:

He said because i was on benefit and living in a council house he should have custody of her. The cheek of his GF wanting another womens child just because she couldn't have any :mad:

He told the court i was unfit, but he had to prove it and he couldn't. So i know courts do not just take word of mouth as proof.

KK

This post made me feel really sad for you. It sounds as if your OH is a very unhappy person, and has manipulated you into the situation you are in. I don't think staying is going to make you any happier - she can't be happy either. I don't know the legal ins and outs, but from a purely emotional point of view, you need to do something soon. You need to do something as this relationship is a waste of your life - get out and give yourself the chance to be happy elsewhere. Obviously you need to protect your investment and your daughter's future. Your wife sounds as if she could be depressed, has she talked to someone about how she feels, or is that a no go area. Good luck with it all and keep us posted about what happens. She should count herself lucky that you are a responsible person.

drmr69

Spendless wrote:

There's a lot of 'her' and 'I' in your post. Her house, her debt, your money, she doesn't work but that's cos she's looking after a child that belongs to both of you.

I don't know where you stand re money. In the vast majority of cases I know the children have stopped with their mother, especially when she has been the at home carer. hopefully someone else can come along to answer your queries shortly.

Yes there is a lot of her and I - but that's because a lot of the financial problems stem from her past, before I even knew her.

Yes she doesn't work because she is looking after our child, and she does a great job at that. But the point is that she decieved me by hiding her financial circumstances from me as long as she could. I was not able to make an informed choice. She even quit her job and expected me to look after her before I knew the full extent of her financial problems.

The suggestion that I am supposed to pay whatever it takes, because she is staying at home to look after our child is, in my view, unfair. I do not see why I should be held responsible for her past financial recklessness, especially as she hid this from me until after our child was conceived. Also, I have worked 15+ years to get to where I am, and so far she has looked after our child for 1 year, so I would it find it very hard to accept the courts awarding going 50/50 on assets?

My hope is that I would have a case for custody on the basis of her deception. ANyone know of any similar cases?

Kimberley

Just don't make it into a battlefield for your daughters sake. Hope all goes well for you.

blessings3

She pressured me into having a child??? And you are big enough to earn 150k but not say no? - Stop the self pity and realise you have a child to raise with this woman - yes either staying with her or seperating its going to cost you money and yes she is obviously a PITA but take some responsiblity

Dora_the_Explorer_5

In answer to the OP. Annulments can be obtained on specific and tightly defined grounds. Not being able to judge a spouse's character before marriage or during it is probably not one of them.

Karnam

this is probably not relevent, esp as it happened in america

but didnt renee zellwerger (sp?) get an annulment based on deception before marriage?

rchddap1

My partner came to me with 2 daughters, and ex-wife, a few debts and absolutely no assets. When I decided that he was the one for me I took all the baggage that came with it...whether I knew about it or not ..... because I love him. He retained nothing out of his marriage except for his relationship with his daughter. Everything that we have has been built or worked for since then.

Do not expect to get custody of the child....as the courts tend to award it to the mother, and then to arrange days that the father has the child. My partner and I live over 100 miles away from his kids. Even still his bond with them is extremely strong. When he spoke to one of them a few days ago her greeting of "Hi Dad, what have I done now" said it all. Typical teenager expecting one of her parents to tell her off just because he wanted to talk to her.

In fact being so far away and only seeing them every 2 weeks has allowed us to do things with them that Mum does not. We don't get any fuss or arguements. We can go on big trips. And they do come to him and tell him things, or ask for advice when they feel they want someone to talk to.

How many teenagers would be happy to walk around and been seen in the middle of a large shopping centre with their Dad and his other half? In fact they tend to wave and say hello to their friends when they see them....bringing attention to the fact that they are with us.

Not having custody doesn't mean you miss out on all the good stuff. However, that decision can be made by the courts unless you come to some private arrangement with your partner.

At the end of the day if the love has gone staying together just because there is a child involved in my opinion is not the right thing to do. The best thing you can do is to go to see a solicitor and to ask for their advice.

MrT_5

What a perfect advertisement for living together before signing on the dotted line. Yes I know common law marriages have similar rights to proper ones but at least you can get out of it easier.

My advice for what it is worth is get the hell out of it. You are going to pay no matter how unfair you think it is but that should have been thought out long ago. You sound very unhappy so it will be worth it to pay up and you will probably have to keep paying. The main winners are of course the solicitors.

One thing you do not do and that is use your child as a weapon. I am mid fifties and still have nightmares about my parents fighting and arguing. Children are innocent and should remain that way.

Wish I earned 150K. Wish I earned 50K. Wish I earned any K!

margaretclare

MrT wrote:

What a perfect advertisement for living together before signing on the dotted line. Yes I know common law marriages have similar rights to proper ones but at least you can get out of it easier.

It has been said many times in these threads - there is no such thing as a common-law marriage.

My advice for what it is worth is get the hell out of it. You are going to pay no matter how unfair you think it is but that should have been thought out long ago. You sound very unhappy so it will be worth it to pay up and you will probably have to keep paying. The main winners are of course the solicitors.

This sounds very similar to my present husband's last marriage (apart from the child). The deception, the violence, the extravagance....the expectation that 'what's his was hers but what was hers was her own'.

In November 1997 he stood on my doorstep just like a refugee, almost in what he stood up in. He left a letter on the mantelpiece which basically said 'I cannot continue to live in a cold and loveless marriage with a frigid and hostile wife....' And it's not necessarily helpful to live together beforehand - he'd lived with her for a year before they married, then 9 years in the marriage...total of 10 years wasted. But we've been blissfully happy ever since.

Aunty Margaret