my friend is outstaying his welcome

michael1983l

Give him £20 to go to the pub, when he comes back he should find his stuff in the garden ready for him to collect.

SelenaLouise

Tell him you'll help him look, buy him some newapapers, a bid red pen and £10 credit and tell him to get calling. Help him to be more proactive in his search.

If that doesnt get him into somewhere in the next week or two ask him for some money towards bills etc etc (or you could ask for this now)

Be much more in his face 'have you found anywhere suitable yet?, how many places are you going to view tonight?' etc etc

He might be getting comfortable or might be seeing what he can get away with but unless you set boundaries and let him know when things arent cool, how will he know.

esmejames

michael1983l wrote: »

Give him £20 to go to the pub, when he comes back he should find his stuff in the garden ready for him to collect.

I like it :rotfl:, but that wouldn't work if I want to keep his friendship!

esmejames

SelenaLouise wrote: »

Be much more in his face 'have you found anywhere suitable yet?, how many places are you going to view tonight?' etc etc

QUOTE]


We have been asking about appointments for viewing flats or when he is on the internet we ask if there are some new good properties listed.... even though we can tell he is looking at other stuff rather than flats!

esmejames

TrickyNiki wrote: »

Its a horrible situation but one I have just had to go though!

My friend stayed months! I even went looking for flats and he wasnt interested! In the end I gave him 4 weeks notice to move, I thought he would have time to find a flat or do something in that time, but he was out on the very last hour of the 4th week he pushed it to the limit and had to go and stay with another friend.

As a lodger I dont think you need to give him notice but for friendships sake I would!! It doesnt have to be as long as my 4 weeks.

:eek: you have been very very patient with your friend! may I ask has the friendship survived this?

esmejames

googler wrote: »

You could suddenly develop a liking for a different taste in music - and play it at all times he and you are in the house.

Wagnerian opera, Stockhausen, Philip Glass, something like that should do the trick. Unless he's into all that already, in which case select something like;

Spice Girls, Michael Jackson, Wham.

That should do the trick.

:T Very funny! I did sign along loud with Cat Stevens on Sunday morning whilst doing the cleaning! I then felt embarrased when the doorbel rang and found a neighbour grinning at me. He stopped buy to inform me that someone hit de side mirror of my car and that is was hanging loose. I wonder if the guy driving lost control when he heard me signing 'RUBY LOVE'

esmejames

QTPie wrote: »

he was very focussed (from the start) on finding somewhere, he bought his own food and he was very neat and tidy. Hence why having him back a second time was no problem.

QT

that would make such a difference. If he was making the effort like your friend I wouldn't mind him staying longer if he doesn't find something straight away.

lindsaygalaxy

If you suggest he starts paying rent he many never leave! I would ask him how the flat hunting is going, and if he needs any help. Say you were hoping to have some family/other friends stay at the weekend so you need the room back.

Cissi

lindsaygalaxy wrote: »

If you suggest he starts paying rent he many never leave! I would ask him how the flat hunting is going, and if he needs any help. Say you were hoping to have some family/other friends stay at the weekend so you need the room back.

That's exactly what I was going to say! If you start setting down rules and charging rent then you're turning it into a permanent situation and it doesn't sound like this is what you want. I think you should tell him that you'll need the guest room back by the weekend as you have someone else coming to visit. If you want to be really nice you could say next weekend.

pinkshoes

Personally I would get back from work before him, then start having s*x with your boyfriend on the couch, with clothes thrown all over the living room - make it look WILD! When he comes home in the middle of it, get all embarassed, then later, have a "talk" with him, saying as much as you don't mind him staying for a few days, a couple need their privacy, so how is his flat hunting going...