Cheating wife left and now wants maintenance!

bossanova_2

Hi everyone,
I am writing this on behalf of a family member who would much appreciate any advice given. He has recently been abandoned by his wife of 30 yrs who has met a man on the internet and moved in with him! She is claiming that this is "just a friend" and that the marriage is over due to other reasons (recently mentioned petty things). However due to the wonders of technology, she left behind a stack of information on her old computer. This includes....roughly 200 pages of online conversations with this particular man, and a few others, also photos of herself and this man in a hotel together, in each others clothes, pictures of his anatomy (before and after certain actions), plans to meet, marry and basically be together! I should also add that they do everything as a couple, shopping, living etc all out in the open. There is a marital home which has roughly £60,000 equity in it, she is intending to buy him out of the house...but because she no longer works, has started to ask him for maintenance even though she has left the family home and lives with this man full time. She is unaware of the information she has left behind and i presume thinks that everyone believes this "just friends" story. In reality though between august and november 08 she and this man have been planning to live in their marital home and are waiting for "the hubby to go away".

Does anybody have any idea of his rights when it comes to divorce/spousal maintenance/equity (children are all grown up)

Thanks
Concerned

RAS

totally confused.

Which house is the woman living in - the marital home that she used to share with her husband or the marital home that belongs to the new squeeze?

bossanova_2

sorry the new man has moved to our town and rented a flat...she has been living in it with him since then, and left the family home.

GucciMane

equity is 50/50 aint it? dunno about spousal maintenance but i would guess if she playing with the other man, then it shouldnt be anything.

bossanova_2

Thats what i thought...he is happy do split the equity 50/50 with her, but doesnt see why he should support her when she is shacked up with new bloke and kids are all grown up.....also no reason why she cant get a job.

NAR

He should seek divorce on grounds of adultery based on evidence gathered. Costs for this should be awarded against his wife. Financial settlement will take into consideration all finances ie equity, savings, pensions etc.
Can see no grounds for her receiving spousal maintenance.

RAS

Yep

He needs to get mean. I appreciate he is probably shell-shocked and is used to looking after her but now he needs to look after himself.

She is plainly in the throws of first love and thinking like a teenager.

I suggest getting the house revalued and see what the current equity is.

Does he want to leave the house? Have either of them talked to the kids? I suggest that he keeps the house if he wants it and agrees to pay her some money for the equity at stages that he can afford.

Otherwise, agree to sell the house.

Has he made sure that all joint accounts now require both signatures? Changed his situation with the Council tax and claimed single person's allowance?

Taken steps to disassociate himself from her on his credit record?

Made sure those old computer records are secured at another place?

And re-written his will leaving anything and everything to the kids? And checked the beneficiary of any life policies?

celyn90

In my understanding, in most cases, the division of the assets after a marriage and provison of maintance/pension sharing are done regardless for the reason for the split. The fact that she cheated and left is, sadly, totally irrelevant.

Spousal maintance is fairly rare these days, and tends only to be awarded if one party has given up a job to look after kids and has sacrificed his/her career to do this. If she is in position to work now, it is likely that the court will expect her to.

Have they been through mediation?

I would second the idea of getting the will rewritten too.

vaio

RAS wrote: »

Yep

He needs to get mean. I appreciate he is probably shell-shocked and is used to looking after her but now he needs to look after himself.

She is plainly in the throws of first love and thinking like a teenager.

I suggest getting the house revalued and see what the current equity is.

Does he want to leave the house? Have either of them talked to the kids? I suggest that he keeps the house if he wants it and agrees to pay her some money for the equity at stages that he can afford.

Otherwise, agree to sell the house.

Has he made sure that all joint accounts now require both signatures? Changed his situation with the Council tax and claimed single person's allowance?

Taken steps to disassociate himself from her on his credit record?

Made sure those old computer records are secured at another place?

And re-written his will leaving anything and everything to the kids? And checked the beneficiary of any life policies?

excellent post

bossanova_2

Thanks so much for these replies, they have been very helpful.

The old computer stuff is safe and sound...incase needed.
Bank accounts have been separated (joint account frozen but overdraft has been held by the bank until things are sorted out)

The wife has decided now that she wants to sell the house and have her share of the equity, but husband will buy her out and stay in the house....now that she cannot afford to buy him out. I presume she cannot make him sell??

RAS

In which case, suggest he gets the property valued and puts it on the market even if he wants to stay (HIP and all) because he will almost certainly have to knock £10K off the asking price and that is £5K less to pay her.

Does not mean he has to sell in the end of course - just check the EAs terms very carefully.

For finances, he might find it useful to get in a lodger for a while - tax free income.