MSE Pregnancy Club IX

Glamazon

skintchick wrote: »

Glam I've found the HB every time I've used it even from quite early on - you just have to push it down hard and be patient.

OH read ur post earlier and has said to just go on eBay and find one!
MW's have managed to find it easily enough so I guess I just need to be patient.

Mookie - glad u had a nice holiday

speaking of ice-cream .....................................

Nicki

On another forum I used to read though there were always posts from girls with dopplers who hadn't been able to find the heartbeat for a day or two and been given the brush off by the doctor, and were completely distraught. Doctors seem to take the view that as you haven't been trained to use the doppler, its no big deal if you can't find the heartbeat and its not a good enough reason for them to agree a scan or an appointment for them to listen in (maybe not all docs but that's the experiences which get reported). Personally it would worry me more not to find the heartbeat for a few days, than not to know one way or another what was going on in there.

As Glam works in a surgery though, and presumably could either sweet talk the midwives into giving her a sneaky listen in, or a loan of their doppler when they were on a break, and as she will soon be feeling regular movements, I'd probably say to save your money for something outrageously extravagant for bubs you wouldn't otherwise buy!

skintchick

mountainlioness wrote: »

I was wondering if I could ask the advice of anyone who's lost a baby - I really don't mean to upset so if you don't want to reply, that's fine of course.

The day I told ppl in my office someone told me that one of the other women had recently lost her baby early on... Luckily I hadn't made a big deal about it, just a discrete email and offer of cakes) Anyway, she said this other woman wished me all the best but was too upset to speak to me. I thought it was brave and compassionate of her to send her best wishes to me through her friend - I can't imagine how painful it must be to have such an intimate matter be so on display at work.

I've tried to be as sensitive as possible - I don't have to see her every day anyway but have tried not to give any more occasion for chance encounters (like in our tiny kitchen) than necessary. I've seen her twice and just tried to act friendly and 'normal' - say hello.

I'm not thinking she should want to speak to me or anything but it's more about not making her working life any more difficult than it need be. My pregnancy,assuming all is ok, is going to be more and more obvious over next few months.

If you were/are in a similar position as her, how would you prefer it to be with a PG colleague?

at the moment am trying to be as sensitive as possible without avoiding her or being over the top friendly... I know it's been difficult not only for us but also for the other ppl in the office.

I'm sorry if my asking is insensitive - I just want to do the right thing, even if that's nothing. Hope that makes sense... and hugs to those who are currently going through heartache...

Hi

I have both lost a baby, and have a friend who has lost three, so I can hopefully answer this from both of us.

My friend prefers people to be discreet - not to shout about scans and shove pics under her nose, and to wait for her to ask about the pregnancy. Obviously you can;t hide your bump, but you don;t have to talk about it in front of her unless she asks you something first.

Personally, I got PG v quickly afterwards, and was therefore fine with people being pregnant around me, but I think had I not I would have preferred people to let me do the asking and not just talk to me about their babies.

I think you probably wouldn;t talk about it that much at work anyway, so just let her make the moves if she wants to talk to you.

Cheapskate

Sami_Bee wrote: »

I'll ask her for it and PM when I got it
Yeah the trees around there were once used by roman soldiers to hang people apparently!

Cheapskate Thanks for that although I doubt I'll be as lucky! Chris is in his cotbed with sides removed and guard added, he often comes to get in with us at around 2/3am and even hough he is sometimes up as late as 10pm still gets up at 7am every morning :rolleyes::mad: What happened to my perfect toddler?? he used to be as good as gold straight of to bed at 7/7:30pm and slept until 8/8:30am - I'm soo tired!

He's not a bad sleeper, but is harder to deal with in the daytime, esp if he's tired. He's usually in bed before 7.30 p.m., doesn't nap half the week, never sleeps later than 7 a.m., often awake earlier, !!!!!! on a Sunday! :rotfl:Just had a thought, took his dummy off him just before he got into bed, 'cos he'd bitten it nearly in half, said I was getting another. I've forgotten, but it's quiet up there - maybe he's gone to sleep without it - hoobloodyray! :jSeems surgically attached to it at the mo - but he keeps biting them into shreds, bought at least a dozen in the last month & they were good ones - maybe the end is in sight!
ETA - just noticed a word I wrote is now exclamation marks, how weird!

skintchick

Nicki wrote: »

On another forum I used to read though there were always posts from girls with dopplers who hadn't been able to find the heartbeat for a day or two and been given the brush off by the doctor, and were completely distraught. Doctors seem to take the view that as you haven't been trained to use the doppler, its no big deal if you can't find the heartbeat and its not a good enough reason for them to agree a scan or an appointment for them to listen in (maybe not all docs but that's the experiences which get reported). Personally it would worry me more not to find the heartbeat for a few days, than not to know one way or another what was going on in there.

As Glam works in a surgery though, and presumably could either sweet talk the midwives into giving her a sneaky listen in, or a loan of their doppler when they were on a break, and as she will soon be feeling regular movements, I'd probably say to save your money for something outrageously extravagant for bubs you wouldn't otherwise buy!

I've read that too although it's not been my experience ,and even though I get movement now I still like to use the doppler sometimes cos Bubba is sometimes quiet for a day or so and I like to hear it moving around inside, or even just hear the placenta and know everything is working in there!

Nicki

mountainlioness wrote: »

I was wondering if I could ask the advice of anyone who's lost a baby - I really don't mean to upset so if you don't want to reply, that's fine of course.

The day I told ppl in my office someone told me that one of the other women had recently lost her baby early on... Luckily I hadn't made a big deal about it, just a discrete email and offer of cakes) Anyway, she said this other woman wished me all the best but was too upset to speak to me. I thought it was brave and compassionate of her to send her best wishes to me through her friend - I can't imagine how painful it must be to have such an intimate matter be so on display at work.

I've tried to be as sensitive as possible - I don't have to see her every day anyway but have tried not to give any more occasion for chance encounters (like in our tiny kitchen) than necessary. I've seen her twice and just tried to act friendly and 'normal' - say hello.

I'm not thinking she should want to speak to me or anything but it's more about not making her working life any more difficult than it need be. My pregnancy,assuming all is ok, is going to be more and more obvious over next few months.

If you were/are in a similar position as her, how would you prefer it to be with a PG colleague?

at the moment am trying to be as sensitive as possible without avoiding her or being over the top friendly... I know it's been difficult not only for us but also for the other ppl in the office.

I'm sorry if my asking is insensitive - I just want to do the right thing, even if that's nothing. Hope that makes sense... and hugs to those who are currently going through heartache...

I had something similar when I lost my first baby at 17 weeks and there was another girl in the same office as me who was a few weeks further on than me. I managed to be perfectly nice and pretend a polite interest in her pregnancy without getting too involved in it all (signed her card, chipped in to her present, wished her well on her last day, etc) even though it hurt a lot. What tipped me over the edge though was when she had the baby and brought it back into the office a lot. The first day she came in, she stayed for the whole day, showing her baby off to all her friends and gossiping in the open plan part of the office. By 2pm I was so distraught I had to go home early in tears. Even though she knew this, she planned another visit for 2 weeks later so that anyone who was on holiday the first time she came in could see baby, and then a third visit was discussed. I was so upset by the whole thing that I went to HR and complained, and then she got upset about not being allowed to keep coming in with the baby and the atmosphere when she returned to work after maternity leave was pretty strained. I'd therefore suggest that no matter how well you think she is coping with the situation, that you try to be sensitive all the way through the pregnancy and after the birth, and not do anything which will forcibly rub her nose in it (whilst enjoying your pregnancy discreetly of course with the colleagues you are close to).

Hope this answer doesn't upset you, but you asked for views from those who've been over on the dark side. Enjoy your pregnancy and good luck!

Glamazon

Thanks Nicki

I am feeling a few movements now and the MW's in work have said I can have a listen whenever I want and they are in every Thursday. If I was THAT worried I would ring my own MW or go to the hospital and try to get seen sooner.

OMG - I'm nearly halfway there!

mountainlioness

Skintchick - thanks for that... am am glad you fell PG again soon after.

Thanks for your perspective. I'm not someone who tends to make a big deal anyway (especially at work but am generally someone who avoids fuss) so wouldn't flash the scan pics etc I guess I don't want her to feel am avoiding her or am being insensitive in some way...

Thanks again

tiamai_d

Right I took a mad notion to pack an overnight bag and emergency baby bag. Yeah I am only 22 weeks but I know what I'm like :rolleyes:

So.... baby bag (early baby size) to get me through one day as both times we didn't know that baby was arriving when they did. After 35 weeks I will swap for newborn or 0-3 month.

3 sleepsuits
3 vests
3 pairs of socks
1 cadigan, hat, mits
1 pack papmers size 1 nappies
1 pack baby wipes
6 breast pads

My over night bag

1 old pair jogging bottoms and t shirt
1 old night shirt
5 old knickers
2 pair socks
1 new nursing bra (either for nursing or just as a bra)
Easy reading book and crossword puzzle book (bought when I was in with DS1!) and a pen
20 maternity pads
24 breast pads
shampoo, conditioner, shower creme, body lotion, tooth brush and paste, razor, flannel
sturdy carrier bag for dirty stuff etc

That looks ok doesn't it? Basics for any eventuality.

mountainlioness

Nicki -doesn't upset me at all - thanks for sharing your story... I can't believe how your colleague behaved... am so sorry you had to go through that (did you stay in that office?)

I think there'll be a lot of interest in the office in seeing the baby - I hadn't intended to bring it in (I think I'd be a bit embarrassed to be honest, being the centre of attention, or Cub would be!) but will need to see when it happens how to maybe manage other ppl's expectations of having it paraded around (it does tend to happen) If she PG in the meantime and safely proceeding with it that changes things a bit.

Sounds like low key but normalish is the best way forward?