Would You Marry A Bad Debtor?

topherxp

Just a general question.

Would you marry a bad debtor who owes alot of money?

Most people who use this website are good money savers with debts either payed off or well on there way to being paid. Would you want to risk that debt free position you have achieved?

Would you marry them and effectively go back into debt or would you wait until they are debt free?

May sound studid to ask but it will be interesting to see what the responses are?

$17mma

My answer to your question would be that they would have to sort out their debt before we got married, in addition I would have to see a drastic change in their attitude towards money, respect for money and management of their finances.

I would not want to marry someone if I was in debt and find that it would be unfair to subject them to it. But I would support and help them towards a debt free life.

Willsnarf1983

yeah course i would,

got to find that person yet but if they were the person that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with then taking on that added risk is nothing

Will

MrsTinks

My other half has more debt than me to be fair and I am doing farmore active things to sort it all out than he is. BUT in his defence the debts are just as much his ex's fault as his. However We are waiting to hear about a consolidation loan for some fo his debts at the moment. Yes I know they are bad but it would seriously lower the APR and the month payments. Once that is in place then the agreement is that I am in charge of the finances. I already deal with teh grocery shopping etc but I am slowly working my way through all our monthly outgoings and shopping around for better deals and so on. Would I marry him before that debt is all gone? HECK YES

THE_LONE_RANGER_4

there is bad debtors and bad debtors theres debtors who get in to debt through unemployment ,sickness,divorce,bad business advice ,etc etc, then there are debtors who just spend spend spend they wake up get there act together and sort it out and those who will never wake up to it and it ends up a life time problem,so every one is different,you have to suss which debtor they are most are among the first ive listed ,the debt agency collectors just treat every one the same like filth it seems

rizla01

Would you want that person to be the example that your children grow up to follow.

My thoughts are that you owe it to them to give them the best chance in life that you possibly can -- but if you feel that a REFORMED debtor is in a position to set a better example then so be it. Tie the knot.

MPH80

Hmmm - slightly tricky question.

I would be together with someone who was in debt - but I'm not sure I'd marry them until we were debt free - primarily because marriage does involve cost and since there are few monetary benefits to tax/marriage any more ...

However, I wouldn't be with someone if they weren't committed to getting out of debt.

A life long relationship does require compatability on certain things - and money is one of them - or you will end up just arguing over and over about it.

Since my personal belief is (now) that I don't intend to be in debt unless either a) it's necessary - e.g. a mortgage, or b) it's making me money e.g. stoozing - it would be very hard to see someone paying pointless interest.

M.

MushyPeas

Mmm hard.

I was with a bad debtor and cleared all our joint debts the day we split up! Now I'm with someone who is in deep doo doos. I've already loaned him £1500 to help him with rent and baliffs. I haven't told my friends as they would think I was mad. He has taken some control and has a payment plan with his credit cards and he's promised to sit down with me and go through things, v. soon. It's hard but I really really like him and don't want to break up because he's rubbish with money.

However, I'd always keep my finances separate from his. From experience, it is much easier to manage your finances when they are your own.

MPeas

dollindebt

We were two bad debtors who married each other. Now on the path to being debt-free, it has brought us closer together, after a period where it nearly drove us apart.

Nothing in life is certain. We could have married other people but there are no guarantees that we would have lived a charmed life. We have our health, and each other, and a very tight budget.

If we hadn't been there then, we wouldn't be here now.

queenofthedump

Surely this is a question of Love not money ?

aliasojo

I think it depends where about in your life you are. If I'd been asked this when I was younger, then I wouldn't have cared and would put love before all else and dealt with whatever I had to.

After being in a bad position years ago and now being older (and wiser?), I think I would be more practical and be less willing to accept 'as is'. I wouldn't necesarily wait until the person was debt free....but I would want to see that they were committed and responsible and had learned from the situation otherwise I would worry that the situation would arise again in the future.