Would You Marry A Bad Debtor?

dinkylou

I would, as long as they were prepared to change their attitude to spending and we came to agree over finances.

I'm a very independant lady and so would hate the thought of an OH pulling me further into debt or being reckless with our money. It would be a team effort but he would have to want to be out of debt.

Guess these days, its difficult to find someone who doesnt have debt.

Any rich men out there?...

zag2me

I wouldnt marry anyone with debts run up themselves.

All you have to do is wait until they clear their debts.

Marrying them and sorting it out yourself would make it seem like your partner can run up more debts in the future and you will always bail them out.

forsya

I would only want to marry a millionaire!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ha ha only joking, tricky question, if they are the man for me, then yeah I would marry him, wouldn't let debt stand in the way of it!

lynzpower

Hopefully, as my fellas marrying me and I have stackloads of debt.

Heaven knows how we are going to afford it though, the something "old" and "borrowed" will be easy to get hold of the "new" not as easy...!!

briona

Ooh... good question...

Well I think [in theory] that if I was already dating somebody who was in debt, I probably WOULD marry him [after I'd attacked his spending habits, moved his debts onto better rate cards, re-educated him on money... etc etc]

But seeing as how I am single and debt free, I just don't think I could go into a relationship KNOWING the guy was in debt! His spending habits on dates etc would have been revealed long before you got to the marriage stage so you couldn't pretend you didn't know. And remember that getting involved with someone in debt puts you at risk of an STD – Sexually Transmitted DEBT!

Personally [and maybe a little selfishly] I LIKE my ability to get credit, I LIKE knowing that I have a rainy day fund and I LIKE knowing that if I wanted a loan, my bank would give me one tomorrow. My financial independence and security is a lot to risk... to conclude? In theory I would marry someone in debt, in practice, I know I wouldn't. I've worked too hard both for and on my finances to jeopardise it!

No wonder I can't find a decent man for love or um... money!

bad_doo

briona wrote:

Ooh... good question...

His spending habits on dates etc would have been revealed long before you got to the marriage stage so you couldn't pretend you didn't know.

Sorry I going to have to disagree with you on this one Briona, when a bloke takes a woman out he likes to treat her so he will buy her presents etc, the fact he always pays with a credit card could mean nothing. He might be treating her and going without something he wants to do this, he could be really good and clear his card every month or be on one of the cashback deals for all the other person knows.

It would be a mistake to assume that a person wantonly spending money on someone else is in debt. When I was married I was always treating my ex and we never used our overdraft and we didnt have credit cards either.

briona

bad_doo wrote:

Sorry I going to have to disagree with you on this one Briona, when a bloke takes a woman out he likes to treat her so he will buy her presents etc, the fact he always pays with a credit card could mean nothing. He might be treating her and going without something he wants to do this, he could be really good and clear his card every month or be on one of the cashback deals for all the other person knows.

It would be a mistake to assume that a person wantonly spending money on someone else is in debt. When I was married I was always treating my ex and we never used our overdraft and we didnt have credit cards either.

Sorry, I didn't mean to cause offence. Actually I agree with you that just because someone spends on someone else, doesn't mean that they are in debt or will become so, but in my earlier post what I meant was you can really get a feel for people's attitude to money quite early on in a relationship, e.g., if they don't open their bills or bank statements, or if they insist on buying top of the range everything when you KNOW they are living the champagne lifestyle on a beer budget... that sort of thing.

Like I said, is it any wonder I am the eternal singleton? I could give Bridget Jones a run for her money??

bad_doo

briona wrote:

Sorry, I didn't mean to cause offence.

Im sure you didnt, and none was taken not by me anyway. I just wanted to point out that someones spending could be misleading and shouldnt be used to judge their entire attitude towards money. Certainly if you got to their house and see a pile of bills next to the front door reassess with the new information.

Something I have found is if a person is really organised they tend to be pretty up to date with bills and in control of their finances, no doubt there are exceptions to this but I havent found one yet.

vixxen

My OH isn't very good with his money but (unlike me) has had enough sense not to go down the CC/loan route yet. His attitude is if I don't have it, I can't buy it. Admittedly it's my house he's moving into and he hasn't a clue when it comes to how much all the outgoings are but I'd still marry him even if he was a bad debtor....only question is, would he marry me??

devoncat

My BF and I are talking marriage. I have £25,000 debt. £24000 came from my studies. 1 undergraduate, 1 masters, 1 (hopfeully) Phd. £1000 on cc/overdraft. I have a HUGE debt, but I am not reckless with money. BF isnt much bothered with my debt. In fact, he has agreed to help me pay it off.
Debt doesnt have to mean one is irresponsible or bad with money. It can just mean a bad period in your life or a in my case an education. My debt has nothing to do with how much I love or am loved. It has nothing to do with my personality or likelihood I will run up more debts. Thank goodness my BF sees me and not my debt!