Getting married - what do we do with our cash??

Nicola1982

I am getting married to my long term other half on 16th May (v excited!) but am getting a bit worried about our money situation. We have lived together for the last three years and have done our joint finances by having a joint account into which we pay the necessary amount each month to cover bills etc but keeping our own individual accounts. This has become a real pain in the bum as I manage it myself and am always asking him to contribute more etc which he questions (we spent how much on their gift???? etc etc.) and it feels like im trying to steal from him (but im not!). I was talking with other couples who all do it differently. Some have one account, some have one account that they both pay their wages into and pay out pocket money to each partner each month. I really want to know what other people find works for them as I have no idea what would be the best way forward.

he earns a lot more than me and I am worried that resentment may build if he earns most of the dosh but gets same pocket money as me. He assures me it doesnt matter to him but I know this stuff causes divorces so I need to know my options before I jump in headfirst.

HELP!!

cheepskate_2

Sorry to put a dampner on thing , but should this not have been sorted 3 years ago, the longer things go on the harder it is to change. It would be annoying to put in my set amount of money then constantly be asked for more. Why not take into account all the little extras and then fix the bills accordingly , taking into account how much he thinks a gift should cost.

I used to work , now dont, but our money has always been pooled from when DH moved in with me 22 years ago, I think this was quite good considering we had only known each other for a month before he moved in.

We have never ever had any disputes about how much each one of us gets, as long as DH can get his season ticket and out for a few drinks he's happy and leaves everything else up to me.

debtfreein4years

i have a joint a/c with my oh for household bills and expenses. anything else comes out our own single accounts.

at the mo, im not working as no one wants me to work for them so he is paying for everything. we both get the same amount of pocket money and whats left goes into his savings. when im working we will still be having the same amount of pocket money and whats left of our individual wages will be going into seperate savings accounts.

gxx

elainew

Everything goes in one account, bills get paid and we spend what is left ( usually not much left)

Glamazon

I pay everything from my account, OH pays me exactly half just before the DD all go out and gives me anything he owes me such as beer money or fuel money! He never goes near a cashpoint so I loan him til he pays me back (That way I can't spend the money and it goes straight into my savings!)

My OH always questions how much he owes as sometimes he forgets half the things he's bought on eBay and used my Paypal account! I have a little book which I write everythign down in as a reminder for both of us.

We each have our own 'pocket money' - I have a nice car on finance he has a shed on wheels :rotfl:Hence, he has move savings than me
We have individual savings as well. It's just works for us

supersmith

We have a joint account for mortgage, bills, food and household stuff and then our own accounts where we both have the same amount to spend per month on 'our' stuff. We recently had to increase the amount of money we were putting into the joint account as everything has gone up, also our priorities have changed and we want to make more joint savings and put more money towards the mortgage, so less 'individual' money. I imagine it will change again in the future depending on circumstances. OH earns more than me (but not much) and has verrrrryyy different ideas of what to spend his personal money on (pub), so having the same amount to spend on our own priorities (shoes!) works well and means we don't argue about the little things

gettingthereslowly

Congrats on the wedding! I'm getting married the week before you (9th)

We both have our own accounts which our pay goes into and a joint account that we pay a set amount into for bills etc. We pay money into a savings account for holidays and a set amount into another savings for car tax and mot

We then half shopping and anything we buy for the house. Anything left is our own. Presents are normally done separetely - I have a bigger family but spend less so saves arguments

It can be a bit of a mine field but works for us at the moment - should kids come into it i'm not sure what would happen.

You have to go for what works for you!

Good luck xx

B.Inky

We have divided up the bills so that, for example, I pay the rent and my husband pays the gas, food and electric. When we divided them up initially, I took on more as I earn more and we have roughly the same amount left over. I’ve always preferred having our money separately as it means we can just do what we want with it. With things like presents, we take them as they come- if it’s my ‘side’ then I pay, if it’s his then he pays. If we go out, whoever is feeling richer at the time pays. I don’t think there’s necessarily any need to change just because you’re getting married, but it sounds like the way you’re doing it isn’t working. Maybe your other half needs to take a bit more responsibility for paying for things, rather than transferring the money over and leaving it to you?

Louisa_Jane_2

We have one account which both salaries are paid into and we both spend out of. When we moved in together and subsequently got married, we decided whats his is mine and mine is his - it's worked for 20+ years!!

dieselhead

The way you are doing things is probably OK at the beginning of the relationship but following marriage, especially when you my have to take time out of work to have children, I think the best system is everything into one account and pocket money, in each of your own accounts, that you can use for clothes and treats. The remainder can then be used to save for holidays and days out and stuff.

suki1964

Louisa_Jane wrote: »

We have one account which both salaries are paid into and we both spend out of. When we moved in together and subsequently got married, we decided whats his is mine and mine is his - it's worked for 20+ years!!

I prefer to work on whats his is mine whats mine is mine :D


Joking aside whats ours is ours. Its one account for spending and one account for savings - joint accounts.

Its swings and roundabout in life. For the first five years together I was the main earner, the last five years - he was. Now Im the sole earner since hes been unemployed for the past few months. Its called a partnership, its married life