Feeling like a fraud

Swans1912

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

The scale of wedding that OH wanted was coming out at £15,000. With a mortgage to pay, that's not feasibly going to happen so OH is having to drop his standards in order to marry me!

does he not work aswell then? Funding the wedding is not ultimately up to just you! Is it worth waiting for the £15K wedding or cutting costs for the date to be brought forward? You don't need to spend £15K to have a fabulous wedding. Have a read of some of the posts, some people have spent £3K and all their guests thought it cost WAY more than that, but what matters most is what YOU think, not everyone else.

clearing_out_my_pockets

iKennett wrote: »

does he not work aswell then? Funding the wedding is not ultimately up to just you! Is it worth waiting for the £15K wedding or cutting costs for the date to be brought forward? You don't need to spend £15K to have a fabulous wedding. Have a read of some of the posts, some people have spent £3K and all their guests thought it cost WAY more than that, but what matters most is what YOU think, not everyone else.

He does work but even with our combined salaries, it would be a struggle. I personally hate the idea of spending so much on a wedding. My best mate got married last year and spent £5,000 excluding the reception which her mum paid for.

Swans1912

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

He does work but even with our combined salaries, it would be a struggle. I personally hate the idea of spending so much on a wedding. My best mate got married last year and spent £5,000 excluding the reception which her mum paid for.

Yeah, frustrating that not all of us have the luxury of leeching off our parents isn't it? Why don't you sit down with your OH and have a look at how much you can afford to put away each month towards a wedding? Do you live together right now? If so, then have a look at where you can cut back your financial outgoings. How much do you consider to be a reasonable amount to spend on a wedding? Maybe you and your OH could meet halfway?

caelshorn

Wow, this is the fisrt time I've ever heard of the groom wanting a bigger fuss than the bride! Seriously, 'tho: is it about the wedding or the being married? Because if all he wants is a big party with all his mates then you can do that on a shoe string as an engagement party.

Also: it sounds as if you've got some confidence issues you need to work on. You think he is taking a "drop in standards" because he's with you?? I know you said that in relation to the size of the wedding do, but it sounds like a much bigger statement.

Whatever you do, you need to meet in the middle. Maybe he thinks an enourmous fuss is what you want? However you solve it, talking usually helps. I think you made a good start by having a conversation about it, but if you're still worried then you need to keep talking until you've resolved what's bugging you.

clearing_out_my_pockets

caelshorn wrote: »

Also: it sounds as if you've got some confidence issues you need to work on. You think he is taking a "drop in standards" because he's with you?? I know you said that in relation to the size of the wedding do, but it sounds like a much bigger statement.

You may have hit the nail on the head there

daleigha

wait until nearer the time and you will start to feel more like a bride!! and work on your confidence in the meantime!! your OH doesnt need to spend a fortune to be married to the one he loves!!

my OH is my third engagement, and our wedding in september is the third wedding we have booked - the other two were cancelled for various reasons, so i know how you feel - for a long time i didnt feel like a bride to be as i half expected something to happen which would cancel this wedding too!! but now that its five months away (tomorrow - eek!! :j ) and i have bought things and ordered things and booked the venue and harpist etc im starting to feel really excited!! your interest will definitely wane and pick up until the wedding - i had a big rush of doing stuff at the start, then nothing for ages, then in september last year i realised it was a year until the wedding and i needed to start organising the other stuff!! :eek:

xx

Callisto

We've been engaged since 2004, and still not booked anything due to finances, the amount in my signature is everything we've been able to save in that time!

We did want to get married in a castle, but the cheapest one I found would still be well over £3000 including venue hire, food and drink. We had a discussion the other day about getting married abroad just the two of us, and having a party on our return. I think this is doable on £2000 if we pick somewhere not too far away - Cyprus or Malta maybe. Plus we get a honeymoon too, we've never been abroad on holiday together before, so should be great fun - don't think our families will be too impressed we're eloping though... but they still get a party!

Marg

Callisto - my friends got married 2 years ago in Malta on a tight budget and had a party when they got back it's very do able for little money. Go for it!