Feeling like a fraud

clearing_out_my_pockets

picklepick wrote: »

i dont want to scare you but two years isnt really that long to organise a wedding. some places will be booked up already for the summer of 2011 depending on how popular they are. perhaps it isnt too early to be looking at venues?

We can't agree on a venue

ruthie_2

we got settled in our new home last year, and did some renovations. It was only when we'd done that, that we started thinking about our wedding. I'm glad we didn't try to do everything at one - financially and for our sanity too! I would just focus on getting your home sorted, and enjoy being in a loving relationship where you are both happy. When you are ready, you can start planning in earnest for your wedding.

shelovestobuystuff

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

This is the second time I have been engaged. The first time, my ex had proposed because we had been together for a while and he felt like he ought to propose. He never really had any intention of marrying me.

This time around, I am with a wonderful man who would probably do anything for me. We'd really like to set a date but unfortunately, we'd like to buy a house before we get married. Which means that as we don't know how much money we need for a deposit, we don't know what savings we'll have left over which in turn means we can't set a date.

OH & I have got a target date which we haven't told anyone about, just in case we don't manage to do it. But I'm worried that my family think I'm just going to be engaged forever. I don't feel like a bride-to-be.

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT!:beer:

Why dont you add your target date to your signature(I just noticed you have already),get yourself registered on a wedding site with your target date too and do some wedding window shopping.Thats bound to make you feel like a bride-to-be.Quite a few people chat here about their wedding plans before they have their date properly decided.Join in and hopefully you will feel all bridey soon.

Families?Ours were most uninpressed when we told them.We were hoping for cheers,round of applause,toasts,even an 'about time too' from somebody but no,they just looked about at each other sort of confused and we were asked what the point was as we had been living together for years anyway,then MIL said,'you will need to lose weight'.Not the reaction I had envisaged.It upset me at first but I soon cheered up once I started the planning.Oh and the only anniversary card we ever got was from John Lewis when I registered as a bride on their website.So dont let your family get you down if they are not as excited as you hope.They are all excited about the wedding now,I dont know why the engagement announcement was a flop.

MAY 2011.2 years isnt a very long engagement.We announced our engagement summer 2007 expecting a winter 2008 wedding.Once we sat down and did the sums though we realsied we would have to wait another year.

MrsAnnie

I guess it all depends on what kind of wedding you are planning to have.

Personally I find planning a wedding to be both very exciting and very stressful. If your intended date is 2011 then may be unrealistic that you will be on a 'bride to be' high for the next few years. Your interest in planning it will come and go. And you will probably feel the most excitement we the date draws closer.

clearing_out_my_pockets

ruthie wrote: »

we got settled in our new home last year, and did some renovations. It was only when we'd done that, that we started thinking about our wedding. I'm glad we didn't try to do everything at one - financially and for our sanity too! I would just focus on getting your home sorted, and enjoy being in a loving relationship where you are both happy. When you are ready, you can start planning in earnest for your wedding.

This is exactly our logic, but it almost feels like we're not engaged! We're supposed to be going to a wedding fair next week, but I get the impression that OH is going just to keep me happy.

shelovestobuystuff

MrsAnnie wrote: »

I guess it all depends on what kind of wedding you are planning to have.

Personally I find planning a wedding to be both very exciting and very stressful. If your intended date is 2011 then may be unrealistic that you will be on a 'bride to be' high for the next few years. Your interest in planning it will come and go. And you will probably feel the most excitement we the date draws closer.

Thats absolutely how it is has been for me.Infact I think the planning would have been easier if the engagement had been shorter as I would not have been able to change my mind quite so much:rolleyes:

clearing_out_my_pockets

shelovestobuystuff wrote: »

Thats absolutely how it is has been for me.Infact I think the planning would have been easier if the engagement had been shorter as I would not have been able to change my mind quite so much:rolleyes:

Exactly!!! If we could do it sooner rather than later, I'd have a lot less time to worry about all the minor details!

Swans1912

shelovestobuystuff wrote: »

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT!:beer:

Why dont you add your target date to your signature(I just noticed you have already),get yourself registered on a wedding site with your target date too and do some wedding window shopping.Thats bound to make you feel like a bride-to-be.Quite a few people chat here about their wedding plans before they have their date properly decided.Join in and hopefully you will feel all bridey soon.

Families?Ours were most uninpressed when we told them.We were hoping for cheers,round of applause,toasts,even an 'about time too' from somebody but no,they just looked about at each other sort of confused and we were asked what the point was as we had been living together for years anyway,then MIL said,'you will need to lose weight'.Not the reaction I had envisaged.It upset me at first but I soon cheered up once I started the planning.Oh and the only anniversary card we ever got was from John Lewis when I registered as a bride on their website.So dont let your family get you down if they are not as excited as you hope.They are all excited about the wedding now,I dont know why the engagement announcement was a flop.

MAY 2011.2 years isnt a very long engagement.We announced our engagement summer 2007 expecting a winter 2008 wedding.Once we sat down and did the sums though we realsied we would have to wait another year.

Our engagement announcement was also a flop. When we tried to discuss it with my OH's parents his 18year old sister couldn't stand that the attention wasn't focussed on her and made it her mission to divert the conversation elsewhere (at that time it was about her holiday that was planned 2 months away and shoved a laptop on everyones faces showing them the hotel she was going to be staying at). As we already had our own home we had pretty much everything we needed so no-one felt the need to bother with presents, although we were promised to be taken out for several meals that never happened. Thinking of it... OH's grandmother bought us 2 towels which was nice of her. And my family? Well my cousin was getting married 6 weeks after the announcement of our engagement so everyone was too busy to even notice. Nice eh? OH's stepmum had the cheek to suggest to OH's sister that she be a bridesmaid :eek: :eek: :mad: shouldn't it be ME who suggests to or asks someone?? I'm not having that little madam wearing a nice dress that I'M paying for, why would I have someone I can't stand as my bridesmaid?? so I replied "I'm not having any bridesmaids" in front of the two of them (wedding is going to be abroad, so family only) Ah well, thats enough now..rant over :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Swans1912

I'm sure you will have a fab time at the wedding fayre. When I went to a local one with my OH I got all excited! but then when we got out of the place OH turned around and brought me back to the harsh reality that "we can't afford to have that AND move" I want it all don't i? LOL

clearing_out_my_pockets

I'm actually thinking about not going next week - it's at the venue that OH hates so it will probably be a big let down and make me feel even worse about how far off in the distance everything is