Marriage separation - housing question

Broken_2

Hi there.
There is a high probability that my marriage is coming to an end (hubby not happy). We currently have a joint mortgage on our house but we had been planning for months (before marriage problems) to sell and rent with a view to buying at our leisure. Hubby still wants to do this, but I'm worried that that will leave me in a more vulnerable financial position should we end up separating. Would I be better staying put in our house or should we sell and rent?
Thanks so much
Broken

silvercar

Can you afford the mortgage on your own and will the lender let you take on the mortgage on your own?

Broken_2

Definitely not. I only work a few hours a week and have 2 boys at private school. I am completely dependent on husband.

silvercar

If you did stay in the home you would be completely relying on your husband to pay the mortgage each month.

Sounds like you need a court approved maintenance agreement whereby your husband provides maintenance to you for yourself and the boys and an undertaking to continue paying school fees. With that in place you could probably afford to keep the home but a lender would probably insist on your husband remaining on the mortgage. You will also need to reach agreement on the equity in the home. Some agreement on the equity split when your youngest reaches 18 is usual.

The other option is a clean break, where you sell up now and you take a larger proportion of the equity, this acknowledges your need to provide a home for the children and that his higher income enables him to fund a place for himself.

Marriage guidance counselling could be a cheaper option.

Broken_2

Sorry, forgot to mention - having never been involved in any financial aspects of our marriage, I am completely ignorant when it comes to this subject. So what do you think about renting? Presumably we'd really need to agree on a separation beforehand so that the money would be divided according to our needs? If we rent and then at a later date decide to split up, I presume I'd be worse off? I know I should be better informed but never had to think about it before. (We are starting with Relate this week but I can sense Husband's heart not in it).
Thanks.

bob79

silvercar wrote: »

With that in place you could probably afford to keep the home.

The (ex) husband will also need to live somewhere. The added cost of that could very well mean that they cannot afford to keep the current house.

silvercar wrote: »

this acknowledges your need to provide a home for the children.

You're assuming that the OP will get custody of the children. That is highly likely with the blatantly sexist family courts, but not a certainty.

Georgie4

Broken wrote: »

Sorry, forgot to mention - having never been involved in any financial aspects of our marriage, I am completely ignorant when it comes to this subject. So what do you think about renting? Presumably we'd really need to agree on a separation beforehand so that the money would be divided according to our needs? If we rent and then at a later date decide to split up, I presume I'd be worse off? I know I should be better informed but never had to think about it before. (We are starting with Relate this week but I can sense Husband's heart not in it).
Thanks.

If you are seriously thinking of separating then please do not sell the house until you have had proper legal advice. Would you want to stay in the house in an ideal world ? Many court settlements includeprovision for the mother and children to stay in the house until the youngest has finished full time education. You also need to start taking an interest in your financials as a whole while you are still in a position to have access to everything. I qam not trying to frighten you but you would be surprised at what can happen when couples decide to split and one has no idea of the financial position - remember knowledge is power

racheyg

Hi OP

I have been through the same as you are about to go through (daughter at private school, I worked part time etc).

I can't stress enough how important it is to go and see a lawyer yourself. I saw six different ones to get an overall view and come to my own conclusions! You can get a free half hour session I think, or it costs about £60 if you have to pay. Go with a list of questions.

There are two types of maintenance, and there are lots of pluses and minuses for staying in the house. But you also have to think about where the children are going to live, if they are with you then they need a roof over their heads etc etc etc, much too much to talk about here.

Go and see someone, on your own, who can give you advice, and also advice about the private school issues.

Rikki

It is very difficult to get the courts to award private school fees as part of a settlement.

tbs624

Get a fixed fee appointment with a good family lawyer. If you move into rented with no income of your own you would need to have a guarantor in place, or to pay three to six months rent in advance.

racheyg

You don't even have to go to court if you can agree amicably. You don't need to touch the CSA if you are not on benefits. This is why the OP needs to go and see a lawyer.

Private fees will be taken into consideration if the income affords this, if it is done privately and either through a court order or not.

My ex pays my daughter's school fees, but pays me less maintenance, so effectively we have split it. But it's agreed it's for school fees.