Support for people with Depression

UnluckyT

Tiff, thank you, i appreciate it. some real food for thought their?
only breifly self harmed out of frustration to realise what i did and that the crux of it all is im not coping with things well at the mo and maybe itd be a good idea to have a word with the dr.
trouble is im not close with these 'friends' no matter how hard i seem to try, i get the impression that theyve got the wrong end of the stick with me, not sure how to cope with me. i tend to get on with most people on the whole so i dont know why i didnt get an invite to the hen night, plus it a struggle to speak up when i feel something wrong with thes people so it mustve been shock to have me say something?
work well, it more or less been the same, only a couple of people have 'bothered' with me, and peopls opinion quickly changed for some reason and it seems some people just seem to have a poor/bad attitude towards me and dont realise as you say the distinction between someones intelligence and a mental health problems, and will keep a note of things. ive kinda tried to have words with a superviser about it but they just dont understand what im getting at or brush it off. will have to keep trying?
i guess it not worth my effort all the time with my sis, and will try to pick my battles better? plus she's not very mature or sensible or confident for a 23 year old, as she doesnt/hasnt worked at all really, doesnt do much round mums where she lives and when she does go out it to only her singing course centre when she can afford to, drinking, very occasionally with the odd friend or to tag along with mum and me in case she's missing out on something. best let her get on with it, she'll show herself up sooner or later plus thingsll work out too between us.
the councelling helped, a lot, i just seem to have drifted a bit, and feeling the pressure plus i feel people arent used to me speaking up for myself and im just so not used to doing it.
plus i keep putting things of like eating healthily/properly and losing weight, esp as im going to new zealand in october by myself, doing a tour and staying with family for a week. plus i really want to get back into horse riding and get more into tai chi. must stop procrastinating.

Itsadogslife_2

Hi, I don't normally post on this thread but am feeling very fed up and sorry for myself today. My father has suffered for most of his life with mental health issues and alcohol abuse at times but has mostly been good for a long time (probably about 15 years) but for the last 2 years he has had a lot of business pressure and in the recession this has gone up the wall. Things have finally come go a head in the last 3 months and it is now done, business gone, the lot, but I think he is possibly poorly again. I have spoken to him on the phone tonight and he was upset, crying, talking about lots of things in the past.

I feel awful for a number of reasons but selfishly one of the worst things is my feelings of I don't want to deal with this again. I spent most of my growing up life with anxieties and worry as a child whether daddy was going to be there, sober etc. I feel desperately sorry for him but desperately guilty that I don't want to get dragged down. I am often the person that everyone tells their problems too, they then feel better and I get bogged down with them. Bringing me down with them, I get the knots in my tummy, weepy, emotional.

My father seems to have lots of regrets, but the way he was on the phone earlier made me wonder whether he was drinking again. I either thought he was drinking or has had some kind of breakdown. He promises that he has not been drinking, although he girlfriend told me that he doesnt drink anymore apart from a few cans of lager??? I didn't think ex-alcoholics could have just the odd can of lager??? He apologised and said he is just feeling sorry for himself and texted me to say he is OK. I just feel sick and knotted in my tummy He is a grown man and I am a grown woman but it still makes me feel that sick feeling in my tummy of anxiety that I felt when I was 7 wondering whether he would be coming to pick me up or stayed at the pub and left me where I was

My husband doesn't help in these situations as he doesn't believe in mental health issues. He has never suffered and never experienced it so it is a subject that we have to agree to disagree on. I think he thinks that my dad needs to pull himself together. He gets cross with my dad for talking to me in this way which then upsets me.

Sorry, I don't mean to moan to you guys but I feel like I need to just tell someone about my grotty evening.

Tiff_2

Hi dot!
Thanks for posting. Sending you a sincere to the thread. Of course you can post here, hunnie - after all, they let me in!
Funnily enough, I just replied to your other thread regarding your possible career change...
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/43492288#Comment_43492288

I'm sorry to read that you're feeling so low hunnie.

dot wrote:

Hi everyone,
I've been lurking for a little while but only just come across this thread today. I've read through a fair bit of it and hoped it would be okay if I posted.
I'm suffering right now with pretty horrible depression. I have been for about a year now. I think I am having what could be termed as a 'quarter life crisis' it seems.
I'm really struggling to function at work at the moment, which is putting me further and further behind. I'm desperate to take time off to recover, but I only get SSP and I have a wedding and honeymoon to save for, so can't afford to take any time off unfortunately
I am considering going to university next year, and studying to become a paramedic. TOTALLY different from what I am doing now, but I would just love to do it! My only worry is that the financial pressure of being a student will push me over the edge again. Sigh, I feel really trapped and like I need help, but ultimately it's only me who can make the decision, but I just don't feel capable of it right now.
I'm sorry to just barge in and moan! I just feel like I needed to vent and the people on this thread seem amazing.
Dot x

Have you been to your gp, dot? You need a professional to diagnose whether you have depression and then they can work with you on the best way forward from there. It may be that their help can see you through the toughest bits. If you've been feeling this way for a year, I think seeing your dr would be the best step to take. Write it all down if you're worried about forgetting what you want to say. Can you pinpoint what's causing the problems for you at work? Have you spoken to your manager about it? If it's serious enough to be making you this unhappy, don't allow it to be brushed aside. There may be options avail;able for them to support you but you won't know if you don't ask.
Obviously you are under a lot of stress with the mortgage, wedding and honeymoon to pay for - and then with you considering a complete career change on top of all that!
Have a look at the following link to see what NHS student help you may get and possible help once you're married. All of this depends on your whole financial situation.
Direct Gov. NHS Student Finances

I'm all for people following their dreams but you shouldn't overload yourself, hunnie especially as you're already very stressed before you even start your studies.
Be completely honest with yourself, dot and if you decide this is absolutely something you must do - then it may be worth postpoing it for a while until you're on a firm footing with everything else, such as the wedding and the honeymoon celebrations done for one. These are important events in your life and deserve to be treated to their own special time, with no other distractions. These are already major life stressors and surely it's better to give any added stress a very wide berth. You're doing the right thing in researching all your options. You need to be sure you'll be able to cope with all the stress and the financial implications. This in turn will then give you the best chance of succeeding. However, don't mistake viewing your plans as an escape route from an unhappy job. Take it from one who knows angel - the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence and you should always look over the top at your landing spot for any waiting cowpats!

What does your OH say, angel? Do they know how low you're feeling? They're an important link in all of this too and I hope you have discussed it all with them.
As you say hunnie, ultimately it's your decision.

Please feel free to come back here any time, dot. Let us know how you're doing.
Be kind to yourself.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi miro!
Just when you thought it was safe to get back on the thread!
It's nice to see you again, angel. How the heck are you? I hope all is well with you.

miro wrote:

Just popping in to say hi as i've not been on for a while.

miro wrote:

Happy Birthday to Saz and Happy Anniversary to Saz and Gilly for a few days ago.

Bit depressed at the moment as my new gym are patronising a bit. I'm fine with the weights as they notice, but my main issue has always been cardiovascular and they are telling me to take it easy so as not to make myself ill.
On my gym card there is a post it note and it's a staff only gym card so i'm paranoid as to what it says as i'm not supposed to know. It only comes out when I am being reviewed, so i'm hoping I get a peek of what it says soon. I'm paranoid.
I hope everyone is as well as can be.

Sorry to read about you feeling a bit low with regards to the gym. They may have a point, hunnie - breathing is very important to everyone and causing it to stop by too much exercise is not very healthy or very MSE either, if it means you end up spending money on a subscription deal that you won't be around to use! Have you asked them if you can see what is written on the post it note? You might try throwing the 'Freedom of Information Act' at them but that may be a case of slightly over-reacting. Seriously though, it probably says something along the lines of, ''Please make sure that miro doesn't overdo the cardiovascular stuff as he is very determined to workout to the maxmum that he can and doesn't always know when to take a break.'' It sounds like they do have your best interests at heart, angel though I can understand your frustration.

Well, there's so much that has been going on in the world over the past year - the royal wedding anniversary (sazzy and badgie!), the other royal wedding (), you finding a nice romantic interest (guess it's just me and the cats' retirement home now!) - and britney resurrecting her career!
I hope cats and flat mate are all well (in that order!) and that you are taking care of yourself.
Don't be a stranger, angel - keep us posted with your news. I hope to be back later to sort our missus sazzy out - - and to say hello to our new poster.

Be kind to yourself.

Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Raksha

hi big {{{{hugs}}}} to all who are feeling low at the moment.

Can I ask you to think good thoughts for me, as I've just come back from an interview for a p/t job which would suit me very nicely and to get it would make a big difference to us. Thanks

sock-knitter

raksha, good luck, hope u get the job

feeling so down tonight, i cant stop crying, and too scared to go upstairs to bed, cos i feel like self harming, and razor blades are upstairs. see cpn at 9am in morn, just seems too long to wait just now.
basically social worker has written a report about me and boys, which is full of lies, and bntruths, and some of what is true has been twisted to sound much much worse. basically she is saying the boys behaviour has been learned from me, and i should have done things differently.
i am a crap mum, who hates herself and life right now

La-Cara

shaz, could you maybe go up to bed but quickly hide the razor blades somewhere out of sight and hard to get at to minimise the risk (throw them up on a high shelf in a cupboard sorta thing)? You are not a crap mum, you do so much for your boys who evidently aren't the easiest to deal with, whilst having little support and your own illness to deal with. You must be doing something right since they've both managed to get into college, I'm so pleased to hear that!

Been lurking here again for a while, nice to see some familiar faces (hiya Tiff, Miro, Gemini et al :wave:) as well as some new people, you are all most welcome here

sock-knitter

hi la-cara, how are you, not seen you post in ages.
think i will take your advice , and drop them behind a wardrobe, means i'll have to pull a wardrobe out next time my legs need doing, but will keep me safe for tonight.
thanks for that suggestion, most helpful, and saved me some scars.
really must go to bed shortly as up at 5.30
shaz xxx

Sazbo

Shaz hun how are you today? I didn't manage to come on here last night, didn't have the energy to switch on PC - but glad Cara was here with some excellent advice xx She is 100% right - you are NOT a bad mum - I wouldn't cope a fraction as well as you do. Fridays are usually a bit hideous for me at work, but I'd like to know you're ok. Sending you big hugs and same to everyone here xxx

Raksha let us know how you get on with the job - I've got everything cross for you...

Now... where's that Tiffy disappeared to? :think: I know I'm a bit late with the saucer of milk this morning, but...!

And you know what I'm going to say now don't you... what I always say on Friday... it's my least favourite day of the week! :rotfl:

Much love to you all and go easy on yourselves,

Sazzy xxxxxxxx

sock-knitter

hi sazzy, still upset this morning, but better than i was last night. been to see my cpn this mortning, and showed them the report social services has written about me, and she too is disgusted, as she has known me a long time, and she too has a child with ADHD, so knows how difficult they can be.
just rang up the law centre and made an appointment to see one of their proffessionals who will help with making notes and writing official letters back to SS.
I will fight back, i will get there in the end
hope you've got a lovely weekend planned
take care
hugs shaz xxx
ps, who's got the blue smarties, could do with some