Support for people with Depression

scotton86

Hi Unlucky T,

Thankyou for your reply.

I maybe could be signed off by the doctor, but I don't get paid sick pay at work, so I'd be on SSP. Because I'm getting married in November I don't have any leave spare to take unfortunately, or I would. Looks like I'm stuck here for the time being.

I have been in touch with my doctor, except you have to wait over a week for an appointment, so I'm not booked in to see him until next Friday. The local PCT has cut back on mental health services (bloody ConDem cuts) so I have had to try a local charity counselling service, which I have to pay for. It's better than nothing though, so I'm on the waiting list indefinitely. It just seems like the NHS is not helping me at all at the moment, which is just further adding to my worries.

I will get through this, I know I will, I just don't know if I'll have my job at the end of it.

UnluckyT

have you got a local mental health charity in your local area ie bromley mind? something like that might help with a support group or a course?
it a shame youd lose out finacially bieng signed off? and you got no spare time off?
im sure something will turn up and things will work out eventually.
all the best with the doctor, know what you mean, when i had a blip, work couldnt undertsand let alone care less, plus i kept bieng refered to the crisis team who were nice enough but couldnt do much for me as i didnt seem severe enough and had to organise specific councelling which was fortunatly free. plus i have a job retention officer trying to help at the moment, but the pressure is on her with the budget cuts at the moment?

Miroslav

Just popping in to say hi as i've not been on for a while.

Happy Birthday to Saz and Happy Anniversary to Saz and Gilly for a few days ago.

Bit depressed at the moment as my new gym are patronising a bit. I'm fine with the weights as they notice, but my main issue has always been cardiovascular and they are telling me to take it easy so as not to make myself ill.

On my gym card there is a post it note and it's a staff only gym card so i'm paranoid as to what it says as i'm not supposed to know. It only comes out when I am being reviewed, so i'm hoping I get a peek of what it says soon. I'm paranoid.

I hope everyone is as well as can be.

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
Mornings - hoping everyone is as well as they can be today.



Just like old times, huh?!

Wishing everyone a nice weekend.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi shaz!

How are you, angel?
Thanks for the welcome back hunnie! It's good to see the old faithful are still around. And there's lovely new peeps here to torment - erm, I mean help, too!

I just read your post to our lovely gem. You must be so proud of the boys, shaz - they are a real credit to you! I can't believe they're going to college - is it that time already?!!

I've known you as you were going through some truly horrendous times, shaz when you've felt unable to cope with another minute and your perseverence and courage have been a shining example to all.

There's not too many people around who could deal with twin teenage boys with mental ill health and special needs problems, whilst managing their own health problems at the same time. You're a very special person hun, and so in your honour, I scouted round the Tiff Archives and I found...

!!!

Don't worry, methinks the cat pictures will start re-appearing on a more regular basis.

Looking forward to cat-ching up with you and everyone here. Be kind to yourself, angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi gem!
How are you sweetheart?

Thank you so much for your welcome home hunnie - I've missed you muchly too! It's good to see you gem.

Now if you tell the Tiffster whassup, I'll wind up both brain cells and see if I can help - just as you've helped so many here. And that goes for everyone else too.

I'm sorry to hear you've been battling the depression gremlin, angel and that you're on meds. Are they helping you gem? If there's an improvement with them, then let it be for now: both you and your dr will decide when/if the time's right to put them away. After all gem, it takes whatever it takes to help, right?

As for me - can't you sniff the scent of an explanatory 'Tiff Chronicle' approaching? It's coming at high speed too!

Can't wait to hear everyone's news so you'll have to update me, gem.....especially regarding that sazzy person!

Be kind to yourself, angel.
Much Love,

Tiff xxx

Sazbo

Hi guys - so sorry for not replying sooner - we just got back from our hols today. We had a really nice time and feel much restored for the break.

Thank you so much for the birthday and anniversary wishes - they mean a great deal to me and Badgie. Nice to hear from a few old friends too - we both think of you often. Especially Tiffy - don't be disappearing again, ya hear?! I always look in here myself to see how you all are, but don't always get a chance to post - I will try to do better in future

Big hugs to everyone who reads and posts here. Please believe that things can get better - Badge and me are living proof of that.

Much love to you all :kisses3:
Sazzy xxxxxxx

sock-knitter

hi sazzy, lovely to 'see you' again, glad that you and gilly badger had a lovely holiday, cant believe its been a year already, congratulation
tiff, cant wait for the next tiff chronicles, i often wondered what you was up to while you was away, hope it was good things.
seem to be on a rollercoaster at the moment, highs one minute then the downs. like today, kids shouting arguing, fighting etc.
lads have applied for supported housing, daniel had his interview yesterday, and should here in a week, if he has been successful, joshua has his interview next thursday. been told tho, that it is unlikely they will take both, as they dont get on, and both would end up being kicked out, which wouldnt be a good move, so maybe if the supported housing scheme takes one, it will make life a little easier with just one at home, just got to wait and see.
hugs all
shaz xxx

Tiff_2

Hi unlucky t!
I hope you're feeling a little better today, hun. You've been sounding really stressed in your latest posts and I'm glad you're posting about it all - hopefully it may release the pressure a little. I don't know you very well, hun - which has not been helped by my recent ''virtual sabbatical''! - so I hope you won't be offended if I try and reply to some of your points. Thankfully, you are aware of the crisis services, charities like MIND and I'm pleased that you also have a Job Retention Officer.
Just as it is for everyone else, our problems and situations tend to overlap and impact on a whole range of areas in our lives, which only complicates things further for us when we try and get help. So in order to make things clearer in my own head, I've separated your issues into smaller steps. Even though I know they can affect each other, we can only be practical and deal with things one step at a time.

Friends

wrote:

Same carp for me, plodding on with it all with the usual tirade of crap life throws at me including the usual so called freinds excluding me, only bieng invited to the evening part of the wedding when the others 'freinds' are invited to it all,

wrote:

so me having had enough now and feeling brave has said thanks for the invite for the eve part of wedding but not able to make it now, and cheers for the invite to the hen party shame i couldnt make in-looks like i missed out on a good night? via facebook, so when i can im gonna see what the reply is and act accordingly?same old for me, plodding on although so called friends excluded me again with a hen night plus have only invited me to the evening for the wedding whilst the others been invited to the whole thing. i just managed to check facebook,the curse and gift it seems and the girl is bieng sarky by saying shame you missed one thing, now your missing out on another? am i sad and upset or bothered? not, got better things to worry about?

It's natural for our feelings to be hurt over things like this, t - though I don't know all the people involved so I can't comment either way. It's a fact of life that we have degrees of relationships, i.e., work colleagues, work associates, acquaintances, friends, best friends, etc., Not all of them are friends, though we may see them that way. To put it into some perspective, I'd ask myself:
Were these other friends maybe 'closer' to the bride and groom than you were?
Had they known them for longer?
Was there a limit on how many people they could have to attend the ceremony itself?
I don't know hunnie - only you can judge these things. Doesn't stop it from hurting though, and, inspite of what you say, I think you are hurt and you are angry and you are bothered. And that's quite okay, hunnie but it doesn't mean that the situation has to become a battle for you to win or lose. I know it's hard to think straight when we feel like this but you can also say to yourself that at least you were invited by them to the evening reception, that there must have been some people who weren't invited at all to either event. They wanted to see you in the evening and that's not the same as not wanting you there.
As for the hen party, I can't say what may have happened there angel. Did they think they'd invited you but had forgotten? Was there someone going that may have caused friction? Did they think that with going to the reception too that it may have been too stressful to you? I'm not sure I agree that the girl was being 'sarky' on fb, hunnie - what if she was being sincere? Again, I don't know the people involved so I'm not saying you're wrong but we can read things differently when we're upset than the way they were intended. That's the trouble with things like fb, t - it's not the same as a friendly phone call and it can be a veritable minefield when it comes to displaying personal arguments. It can give others a false impression of the people involved.
If I were you, I'd say back on fb, (seeing as that's how you've been 'talking'), something along the lines of, ''You're right - it would be a shame to miss celebrating your special day with you. Thank you for the invitation, I'd love to come.'' But only do this if you feel can go along and have a good time and try not to analyze everything.

Work

unluckyt wrote:

members of staff treating me differently to the others in the sense that theyre condensending, talk to me as if im silly or thick, and are quite happy to chat and be freindly with the others in work but not me and generally treat me completely differently to others in work.

unluckyt wrote:

plus i have a job retention officer trying to help at the moment, but the pressure is on her with the budget cuts at the moment?

If you are being discriminated against or bullied, that is illegal. In order to prove this to yourself, and others should it become necessary, keep a diary of events at work - time, date, situation, names etc., as they happen. You should then show this to your line manager once you are absolutely sure you have enough evidence. Nobody should tolerate discrimination. It is again a fine line between it being possible discrimination or whether it actually wasn't the right time for something to happen for you. Budget cuts are playing havoc with everyone as you say, hunnie and I really hope your job retention officer can help with work.
Again, only you know these people, t, and whether this is really how they're treating you. With regards to how your colleagues seem to socially exclude you, were they very friendly to you before? Is there any reason they've changed? Or are you maybe withdrawing a bit for whatever reason and they're seeing this as you needing space? It may be out of the best intentions if they know you have mental ill health.
Sadly, many people don't realise that having mental ill health is not the same as losing your intelligence and it can be very frustrating. The only way to address this is to continue talking to them the way you always have and at some point, something will hopefully click and they'll realise that hey, you are still the same you!

Sis

unluckyt wrote:

Plus i get my sis trying to convince me she's not up to her wannabe tricks, when she is, claims she's shtting her facebook account down but doesn't and has it so i can't see her wall.

unluckyt wrote:

Plus she claims her and people are veggetarian when she's not, she eats fish, and bases her diet on the vegan diet despite eating stuff that also isnt even vegge let alone vegan? plus claims people she knows are veggie but eat chicken or fish and when i explain what the vegetarian society rules are for vegetarianism,veganism and so on she argues the toss with me and throws a childish strop claiming it easier to call herself vegge and that im not veggie as i eat eggs? And despite me also explaining that her and these 'others' are giving me a bad name in a sense and making it hard because of what theyre claiming? like with my sis, been really standing up for myself thier where i can too as she kept hiding her wall from me in facebook and is still playing a wannabe of me, the usual whatever i like she likes but it me copying her, not?

Good advice for all of us, is that we should choose our battles wisely. Her claims regarding vegetarianism/veganism don't matter in the grand scheme of things, t, although things like this can be very annoying. I think her claim that it's easier to call herself a ''veggie'' for the sake of eating out, may be true, though I do understand your point, hunnie especially as you are a vegetarian. Is this 'battle' really worth your energy? After all, you are being true to yourself and your beliefs.

Health

unluckyt wrote:

all the best with the doctor, know what you mean, when i had a blip, work couldnt undertsand let alone care less, plus i kept bieng refered to the crisis team who were nice enough but couldnt do much for me as i didnt seem severe enough and had to organise specific councelling which was fortunatly free.

unluckyt wrote:

hi all, hope everyone okay, getting their and if not will get better and look up soon. chin up those who need it, it'll get their soon im sure.i keep trying to plod on but it all really getting me down and on why wick, esp when i seem to have to behave and act so much like the way a child almost does or the way certain people expect and not myself.slipped back slightly (self harmed) and am just so sick of this now with the impression from these 'friends' plus others that im to be left out, treated as if im stupid, spoken down to condincendingly etc so im really having to up my game plan, think of what i can do to help myself and improve the situation. really hard though, as people are so used to me bieng a set way that now im putting my foot down it seems not only a challange/scary stuff for me it seems to send the others into a state of panic.

I'm glad you've had some counselling angel. Did you find it helpful? What is your dr suggesting to help you?
If you keep being referred to the Crisis Team then there's obviously something wrong somewhere and the professionals need to step up to the mark and take responsibility for your treatment. Keep in regular contact with your dr, hun and keep them updated about everything.
The best time to contact the Crisis Team or any health professional is BEFORE you self-harm. I know this will be a really hard thing to do but this may be why they don't see you when you're feeling at your lowest, only afterwards when the damage is done and the crisis is over. If they can intervene during a crisis, they can direct you towards the help you need and want and that will help you to feel you're not adrift on your own and that there is help and

a better life for you. Another thing I'd suggest is to get together with your dr and make out a plan of action for what to do when you're in a crisis situation. Having this down in black and white, knowing that this plan was something you agreed would help you when in crisis Of course, all this is just the Tiffster's humble opinion and in no way haveI meant to sound condescending or patronising to you, t, and I'm sorry if anything comes across like that. I guess all any of us can do is to take the day as it comes and to take several (hundred if necessary! ) deep breaths.

What I think is great about your posts is that inspite of everything, you're still wishing others well, welcoming them to the thread and trying to offer suggestions when people post. A friendly hello can make all the difference to people. I hope something I've written here has helped.
Be kind to yourself.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!



Be kind to yourself.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx