Should I tell him?

Cazza

He couldn't trust you???! He was doing drugs, which is bad enough in itself, but he'd also told you he wasn't any longer - run for the hills!!!!!

llh189

By telling him that you slept with his half brother, it isn't just your secret to give away.

Telling him now after all these years will destroy with out good reason the lives of others around you.

It is dead and in the past and you should leave it there.

Learn to live with the guilt, you will be telling him so that he might forgive you and that is the wrong reason, especially as it will hurt so many other people.

I completely understand being infatuated with someone and confusing those feeling with love - but it didn't work out before and probably won't again, your not even looking back through rose tinted specs - you are quite open about the fact the relationship was far from healthy.

Try to move on and find someone new - I know how easy that sounds and how hard it is in reality.

Damzel_In_Distress

Cazza wrote: »

He couldn't trust you???! He was doing drugs, which is bad enough in itself, but he'd also told you he wasn't any longer - run for the hills!!!!!

:rotfl::rotfl: When i read that i put my best iron maidon voice on and sang runnnnn for your lifeeee

Savvy_Sue

My_World wrote: »

thanks for all your replies everyone. i know i should ditch him altogether but i can't. i just can't seem to get him out my head, i wish i could but i can't.

You can't get him out of your head because you're still texting him, still seeing him, still sleeping with him.

It really is very simple. Stop doing the above, and he will leave your head. It may take time, but I can't even remember the name of the first boy I thought I was in love with - because I no longer see him, and stopped thinking about him. Change your phone number, and move on ...

My_World wrote: »

i really want to tell him but don't know if thats just to make myself feel better about this whole mess.

I think it is. Move out of the mess, clean yourself up, and you will feel a whole lot better.

rosie-lee

Whatever you do DON'T phone the Jeremy Kyle show:eek:
or even worse the Tricia show "you need to have time on your own..blah... blah - even more :eek:

JoJoB

If you were both in a good place together and the relationship seemed less chaotic than it does at present and you were really going places then possibly it would be a good thing not to have a secret like this eating you up inside. It would pollute everything and would find its way out eventually.

But as someone else suggested, it's not just your secret, and spilling it now could cause untold damage, not just between you and your man, but between his brother and his wife and between him and his brother. Are you really prepared to mess up quite so many relationships at once?

If he dumped you over reading text messages I hardly think it likely that he's going to be civil about you sleeping with his brother. I know it's hard to get someone out of your head somethimes, but the only way is to stay away from them and allow time to heal. If you keep sleeping with him then of course the old feelings are going to come back, it's only natural. But all the issues surrounding you two make the relationship sound pretty doomed - just make sure you don't mess up other people's lives while you're at it.

Georgie4

Why on earth are you even thinking about going back into this on off relationship let alone asking him to take you back :eek:

From your signature I can see you had good exam results - so why is someone who is obviously not stupid geting involved with someone who has a drug habit and lies to you about it. At this stage of the relationship you can walk away - if you get deeper into it then maybe you will end up stuck.

I personally think this family, i.e his half brother as well, look like real trouble and you should stay well away from them

allIcouldwishfor

If this was a friend in your situation, what advice would you give her?

Please don't allow yourself to be used in this way, your "relationship" sounds very one-sided to me. By perpetuating this situation you are denying yourself the opportunity of finding someone who loves and cares about you, someone who can offer you a relationship with a future. Take control, make a clean break, delete his details from your phone so you can't be tempted to get in touch. Don't wreck other people's relationships by pursuing this user, he doesn't sound worth it.

anguk

I also couldn't believe it when I read that he chucked you out because he couldn't trust you yet he was taking drugs behind your back! And now you're asking him if he'll take you back, it should be the other way round.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but he's playing you for a fool, he knows you want to get back together and he's keeping you hanging with the added bonus of sex. If he wanted a relationship with you he would have apologised a long time ago and begged you to take him back.

Telling him about sleeping with his brother would just ruin other relationships, his brother's with his girlfriend and your ex's with his brother, it may also cause a rift in their family. Keep quiet, forget about both brothers and move on, I can just see a lifetime of heartache for if you don't.

oystercatcher

My_World wrote: »

thanks for all your replies everyone. i know i should ditch him altogether but i can't. i just can't seem to get him out my head, i wish i could but i can't. i really want to tell him but don't know if thats just to make myself feel better about this whole mess.

What you want is the 'dream' relationship you have in your head which common sense is already telling you won't happen in real life .

As said you need to break all contact, concentrate on these exams in your signature and look around for someone who will give you a decent future. You're worth far more than this idiot.

Just forget about the brother incident no point in stirring up more problems. If anyone else ever mentions it then you can cope with it then but hopefully it's dead and buried and you wion't have any contact with this family again.

There's nothing wrong with being single for a while until you meet someone else.

Oystercatcher