Help please i dont know what to do

Dizzymum_3

Hello i'm new here, but you all seem so friendly and give such good kind advice i thought i would be brave and ask for help,
Not sure what you need to know to help me so i will tell everything as best i can.

I left my husband in may 04, he kept everything i got all the debts about £2500.00 worth made up of elec,oil,credit cards,store cards. all were in my name because ex had bad credit rating ( i should of known then lol ). well i had to go on to benefits as could not find work being pregnant and had 2 other children, so tried hard to pay off these debts from 04 till 07, problem being because every spare penny was paying these debts i ran up other debts, my water bill, elec, gas, catolouges, credit card. i had no other way to buy clothes or essentials like plates and cups etc as ex kept everything, so by 07 i had cleared old debts and now had new ones, i have been trying to clear them as fast as i can, but having to reuse them to buy food clothes, as every penny is going out in payments to these. some weeks having to borrow money from my son to buy food. ( i am so embarressed i let things get this bad, but i always believed i could pay and sort this out.) my debts today total 5000.00. would i be allowed to go bankrupt, i heard somewhere if debts were made while on benefit you can't. i'm so scared , things are getting worse, one catolouge added 90.00 on to my debt this month alone.
so sorry if none of this makes sense, i'm shaking just trying to type this, i have never been so scared or worried, but have choosen to feed my self and the children, and miss payments this month, is that wrong ,right, not allowed, i dont know.
Thank you for reading , hope you can help.

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Dizzymum

Firstly let me say welcome Honey & lots of cyber <<<hugs>>> ....sounds like you need them right now !!

In terms of your situation you need to speak to one of the debt charities (see top toolbar) & have a good old talk through all your debts, fears & issues surrounding the position you are in.

You may want to speak to your local CAB & get face to face advice especially as your debt will fall into the new Debt Relief Order (DRO) remit & they start in April & I believe the advice will be available through CAB. DRO is similar to bankruptcy but with lower level of OR interview/supervisory commitments and aimed at individuals with debt under 15k.

Anyway...others will be along in the morning to add more....being an incurable insomniac I sometimes think theres only me around at this time of the day !!!

Remember though....no debt situation cannot be solved & you are being very brave by taking control of your finances & sorting them out once & for all.

Angiexx ....sorry bet you`re asleep after reading all that !!!!

Dizzymum_3

Angie Thank you so much for your reply, i feel loads better for your kind words and help, I have just looked up CAB for my area and there is one in town open tomorrow so am going to go and speak to someone, hope my nerves dont make me bottle out, i will ask about the DRO you mentioned.
I will post to let you know how i get on
Thank you again

So_Sad_Angel

Don`t forget to ask to speak to one of their debt caseworkers....they are trained to deal with situations like yours. Initially be prepared to speak to a volunteer who may then have to refer you on.

I look forward to your update & you`ll get loads of help & support on here..

Night x

LeeSouthEast

I can't offer you any specific advice, but just wanted to say "Hi!" and you're in the best place for support. Don't let it get you down.

GonzoAston

Just going to bump this for you. Hope you get everything sorted soon

Lensman_2

It is rather important that you and your family eat.

Not paying your debt to buy food has inevitable consequences. One of which is you can stop worrying about eating every week/month.

I was in the same position last year. The decision to say "s*d it" to the creditors was the right one. And cancelling the direct debits was a bit nervy but a very liberating thing to do. (My lifestyle hasn't changed but the cats and I have food and the extra money is being stashed away for a rainy day).

The OR will have no problems with this. Hopefully CAB will explain why today.

Good luck.

Waspeze

SSA said it all really but just wanted to say hi from a fellow East Sussex (Brighton) MSE'er

:hello:

loukir

Hello

I have been though much the same with my ex husband, I got left with the negative equity, we lost our house, then rent and utility arrears etc. It ended up with people following me arround when I took the kids to school. In desperation I declared myself bankrupt. It was hard and stressful at the time but Its not the end of the world, at the end of the day life still goes on you just wake up the next day and don't owe any money. That said, it impacts on your life in that you cant get credit or have credit cards to use in an emergancy. But I doubt you have now anyway. It can be done it just seems really hard at the moment, as the kids grow older and get more independant it does get easier. My one piece of advice, is don't expect the CSA to be of any help if your ex is self employed, despite what they say they have a very different set of rules for the self employed. This I have found out to my cost.

LK

Dizzymum_3

Thank you to everyone for your advice and support,

I went to my local CAB today,

The man said they have a very large debt case load so can only offer me help to sort this myself, a booklet and 1 template letter, told to copy and send to companys, asking for 2 month waiting time. I asked about DRO , but was told as i can only be offered help to sort this myself that is not applicable in my case.

so after a 3 hour wait and 20 min interview, i am none the wiser as to how to apply for DRO or BC.

Thank you again for your support and kind words.

LilyBart

Hi Dizzymum,
I'm bumping this to see if any DRO experts - it's a new thing, about to start in April - might be able to tell you more. In the meantime, have you called CCCS or National Debtline? You have to press redial for what seems like an age but the people there are very helpful. The numbers are in the sticky at the top of the board. Get as much advice as you can, from as many sources as you can, and hang on in there.
Lily

ps And do copy and send the template letters. Some creditors ignore them, but it can buy a little time from others.