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  • sammy115
    sammy115 Posts: 15,267 Forumite
    Hi you lot just thought I would pop in....self employed part time employed accountant here.

    Horace, Maz was talking about an online spending diary on the daily chat thread the other day. I will see if i can find a link and post it later. I have been up since 5am as I work much better in the morning but meant i fell asleep last night at 8.30pm!
    Quality is doing something right when no one is looking - Henry Ford
  • Wordsmith
    Wordsmith Posts: 1,164 Forumite
    Hi, Sammy - good to meet you.

    Kelie - I really feel for you. It sounds like things are really spiralling out of control. It doesn't seem like it now, but things will get better, one way or another. I may be out of order here, but I just want to share my experience: I used to live with a man who wasn't like your man, but he was very, very controlling. Splitting from him was so hard - at first I thought it was because I loved him, then it was because I was scared of him, then I think it was because if we split it would seem like I was a failure. Looking back, all those things were ridiculous - we just shouldn't have been together and it was me that was stopping us both moving forward. I am now on my own and love it that way, and he is now giving someone else a hard time. Try examining what it is about why you love him, and then you will find out if you really do - a counsellor will be able to help you explore your feelings. If you find that you don't love him, then it is time to ask him to move out - to get the strength to do this, could you get moral support from family or friends? If you find you do love him, then maybe you need to give some tough love to help him sort things out - ultimately it is up to him to get help, and maybe telling him you love him but kicking him out anyway is the way to make him seek it. But please, please don't let him stay and ruin your life - you are worth so much more than that. No person's happiness relies on another person and what is right for you will be right for him too, even if he can't see it. A massively hard decision now, and a bit of grief for a short time, will make you so much stronger to face the future. And we are all here for you to offer support from afar. Are you scared of him? Then please seek help. You can't tackle your debts while you have so many other things going on in your life. Forgive me if I have intruded, but your predicament saddens me so much.

    Horace - have you tried selling stuff on your website? Or is it purely for advertising. Can I have a peek? What should I put into Google to find it?

    Happy day to all of you. I am off to do the bookkeeping for a restaurant today. It's regular work, but I don't enjoy it much - the owner operates on a short fuse (reminds me of my ex and no matter how much I rationalise it, the two merge together and I get shaky just thinking of going there). It will be a long day and no Internet access :eek: unless I can sneak into another room and if it is working anyway.

    Will be thinking of you all.
    "Green pastures are before me,
    Which yet I have not seen;"
    I'd love to be a good example - instead, I am a horrible warning.
  • Seaxwyn
    Seaxwyn Posts: 4,896 Forumite
    Morning all.

    Kelie, I'm sorry to read about your troubles. No wonder you can't focus on money with all that family stuff to worry about, your recent loss of your dad AND a shiftless partner. You really don't need him sapping your energy - I think Wordsmith's words above are wise ones.

    I did my 4 articles yesterday and was all excited about spending the day shifting my parents stuff when guess what, 7 more articles arrived in my inbox this morning. So now I'm torn about which to do. My parents do need the help so I'll do at least one load anyway. I chuckled at your story, Wordsmith, my parents are still capable of making decisons about what to keep and what to chuck, but we are turning up some really ancient stuff. we've just shredded all my dad's cheque book stubs from the 1950s onwards.

    Right - off to print off the raw material for my 7 articles and will try to get at least 2 done before going over to my parents.
    Total debt: 1 January 2007 £[strike]49,387.79[/strike] 1 January 2012 £[STRIKE]19,312.85[/STRIKE] 1 August 2012 £11,517.62



  • Lexxx
    Lexxx Posts: 618 Forumite
    Hello,
    This is a good thread,

    Well I am not quite self employed yet, I am unfortunately unemployed

    About me....
    I finished my design degree about 10 years ago, and have been working in what I would call crappy bill paying jobs ever since, trying to pay of my bills but accumulating more & more debt. I kept telling myself I would pay off my debt (10k at last count) and get my business going while working, because I know it’s not a big money maker, but something I love, and then see how it goes.

    But my job REALLY stressed me out as well as a lot of personal stuff going on, I walk out a couple of years ago, I was temping to make ends meet, I thought I could do brain dead no responsibility jobs and do my stuff on the side, but the jobs were so stressful, I was so knackered when I got home, well temping has dried up (thank goodness!) and I have started to do my thing again, that is making stuff, bags are my main passion, I was motivated at 1st and have made about 30 – 40, but I am such a perfectionist, I am not ready/scared to put them out there.

    I was sick over xmas and it really knock me for six, so I am sitting here wallowing in it and feeling sorry for myself.

    I just started ebaying everything I own for 99p, I feel that if I get rid of alot of the stuff I will get motivated...I will have space to breath and create and also, got a gas and electric bill that needs paying:rolleyes:
  • Mudbath
    Mudbath Posts: 5,479 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    I was so excited when I saw this thread! Please can I join in! A little about myself - i'm a self employed holistic therapist working from my converted garage (at least i'm never late for work!). I specialise in working with people who've had or have cancer and do voluntary work at a hospice giving treatments in the day unit.

    I've just had three months off after having an op but am now almost back to normal and have never felt healthier. Having time off and having to live on incapacity wasn't much fun but luckily my hubby has a 'normal' job. I only work part time as my children are 10 and 8. I'm lucky as all my clients have come back to me after my three months off but I could do with a bit more work so need to do something about that!

    The thing that keep me sane are my dogs - a 12 year old cross breed and a 9 month old dalmatian. When I walk them life is cool!

    This is a great idea for a thread...I have so many of those little jobs that I keep putting off so i'm going to set myself a target everyday, however small, to get me back on track.

    On the debt front - we came to the end of our debt journey two months ago but decided to put ourselves back in debt (madness, I know!). We bought a caravan so we could take the children and dogs away at least twice a month and just get outdoors more. It's gone on an interest free card which I'm determined to pay off before the rate changes in August - hence my signature. I will do it.....I will!:eek:

    Ok, my job for today is to finish the tri-fold advert designing through vista print. I don't need many so i'm going for their 25 free and just paying postage. Here goes...
  • kelie
    kelie Posts: 151 Forumite
    Right today i'm a lot more positive. I have decided to keep a spending diary like you suggested. I need to start keeping my receipts when I go shopping. I tend to leave them at the shop especially when i'm using self service tills. I woke up this morning and I actually feel quite motivated. I know a couple of companies owe me money, and I have about 3 US dollar cheques I need to cash in.

    I am going to fight this head on, and if the OH doesn't get a job, or appear to be making an effort with his drinking/gambling/unemployment he can go take a run and jump. He has already used me for far too long.

    Got a nice long to do list for today, need to keep adding to it too. I changed all my credit card minimum payments over to direct debit so I don't keep forgetting to pay them. I am also going to try the whole making £10 extra a day challenge (sold a book on amazon marketplace today for £8.99 yay) so only another couple of quid to find for todays challenge after commission.

    Think I am also going to try and clear off a card at a time, more than the minimum payments. I'm thinking my virgin card first because thats the highest interest and lower balance than the others. I would like to clear my overdraft off too really though.
    Virgin CC: [STRIKE]-£374.70[/STRIKE] -£384.39 | Barclaycard: -£2016.05 | Egg CC: [STRIKE]- £781.13[/STRIKE] -£1450.28 | M&S CC: [STRIKE]-£980.40[/STRIKE] -£1026.29 | Natwest CC: -£1,605.60 | Tesco CC: [STRIKE]£1,567.10[/STRIKE] -£1334.10 |

    Current Account Balance:
    -£2,808.96


  • mrscmr
    mrscmr Posts: 2,903 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Hello - can i join?

    just found this thread this morning.. im have been freelance since 1996 after having my first child, now 2 more children later i am still freelancing but at a much much reduced role. i work from home on computer software product which i enjoy very much but recession has hit hard and my rate in the 'good' times was 40 pounds per hr and now its ... 12.50 pr hr.
    i know i am lucky to be able to work around the kids and from home but i do procrastinate like a professional... i have big mental blocks which stop me being productive and then i feel dreadfully guilty so end up working into the night to get it done. stupid really cos if i work and then invoice = money! an i get paid very very promptly so dumb of me really.
    i have big debt to work through but im on track. i have stopped online shopping cos im bored and end up on here instead!
    have a great PRODUCTIVE day everyone
    bye
    mrscmr
    Highest Debt £581,000 Nov 08 and now owe nothing! yes really! I have learnt my lesson the hard way!
    :heart2:Ebay Challenge 2011 - Still supporting from afar!
    Long haulers supporters DFW #223
  • downshifter
    downshifter Posts: 1,122 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    Goodness, everyone is so busy what with work and family stuff. I felt inspired today, got up early and came to the office determined to get on with the ever growing list. Have done a couple of research enquiries but the sun is streaming in the windows and the dog is sitting at my feet looking hopeful so I have no option but to go home and not earn some money! I'll do some more from home this evening, I promise not to even look at the telly listings so I'm not distracted.

    I'm so sorry about all your troubles Kelie, I remember when my dad died how awful everything seemed. However, now 7 yrs later, my mum has had a new lease of life and the worries we had then about how she would manage have faded away. The other thing is in the middle of the night everything always seems worse and out of proportion. I can't really comment on your relationship but having left my husband a good few years ago life is just a million times better on my own. I might add that he absolutely refused to leave our family home, he argued that it wasn't him who wanted to split up so why should he? So I found a cheap rental and just left. 9 yrs on life has never been better!

    I'm a great list maker, not just of jobs that need doing or shopping etc, but of targets for activities and the steps I need to take to meet those targets. I did that when I left my husband, although not quite so formalised, but set out some steps I needed to take and bit by bit I achieved them. Eg got a new job that paid a bit more, then my own transport (a clapped out escort!), then put a bit of money into my own secret account, looked at several rentals and so on and so on, until I was able to make the move. I felt I was doing something to move on and crossing off small steps really encouraged me when I was terrified to leave.

    I'm so impressed by other people's work, but it's so lovely to see that we all seem to have so much in common. And Horace, whose inspirational posts spur me on. I'm far too laid back I think. There's always mañana !

    Off to sit in the sun!!

    Jan
  • Lexxx
    Lexxx Posts: 618 Forumite
    yes you are right downshifter, lists do make a difference, thank you :T
    writing it down makes it all clearer, thanks for reminding me

    off to make some list now
  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Great thread. I was working part-time as well as being self-employed but got made redundant from it last year.

    With the help of this site, we are okay moneywise. I think this thread is going to be good!
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
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