Am I being over sensitive?

nearlyrich

I can see both sides of this, some people are rubbish at artistic stuff just as others are rubbish at maths or singing, in school you have to have a go at everything and you might not be the best but you have to give it your best shot. I am not a teacher but I am a parent and I know sometimes children don't give it 100% and maybe this teacher knows the OP's son is capable of a better job.

On the other hand some parents can't let their child do it themselves, they think it won't be good enough, I know people who have made art projects and other similar things for their child in public exam practicals and others who have done all their child's coursework research, this is not a good way for a child to be educated in my opinion.

I don't think the punishment was that harsh and it won't do the lad any harm in the long run, less harm than his mummy running up to complain about the teacher anyway ( not that I am saying she is going to do that)

Primrose

I can understand that you would want to take your son's part in this business but he's 12 now and you can't protect him indefinitely from discovering that the world is not a very fair place. He left the task until the last minute so needs to accept that this meant the end result was not very good. He forgot to turn up for detention so surely has to accept his punishment, even if he and you think it is harsh. The best thing you can do as his parent is stop protecting from facing the realities of life. One of the jobs of schools is to prepare their pupils for adult life and the responsibilities this will bring. Seems to me that they're doing a good job in your son's case. Maybe it would be better if you supported them and stopped him getting mixed messages about how he should be treated when he doesn't act to the required standards.

smartpicture

Your job as a parent is to support the school, unless the punishment is so unacceptable that 90% of reasonable people would have a problem with it. Clearly from the responses here, that's not the case. If you run up to the school every time you don't agree with their punishments, you're undermining their authority and making it less likely your son will show them the proper level of respect in future. Not spending enough time on homework shows a lack of respect. Not turning up to detention shows a lack of respect. Normal behaviour for a 12-year old boy? Quite possibly, but unless you want a 25-year old who also has no respect for other people or the rules of life, then let the teachers do their job of showing him that a lack of respect for the rules has consequences before he gets any older.

And if you believe the punishment was 'unfair', then your son is learning an even more important lesson - "life's not always fair, get used to it".

LondonDiva

TurnaroundSue wrote: »

He says that the teachers show him respect and in turn he is respectful to them also. I just wish I had moved him years ago!

Do you / your son not have the whole thing back to front?

Respect for teachers should be immediate and unconditional unless the teacher has done something to cause a loss of respect.

Even then, the child should be taught the importance of politeness and discipline, while bringing issues to you to take up in a more apporpriate setting. It is not up to the child to decide if a teacher is worthy of his respect / good manners or cooperation and to take it on himself to show it.

DaisyClaire

I haven't read all the comments, but to add my two penneth; Its a fine line. I was reading and imagining it was my son - I would react the same as you. BUT the flipside is schools have to have rules and consequences.

My issue here is based on my own school years. I was a hard working individual and once this kind of thing happened to me and I had put in effort etc. It made me absolutly hate that teacher and thus I ended up mucking about in all his classes, having competitions twith mates to see how quickly we could get sent out and generally developed a lack of disrespect for teachers in general.
I could of done so much better in school.

poet123

TurnaroundSue wrote: »

My ds school is like this and instead of instilling a sense of responsibility into him, I think it affected his self-esteem and self-worth, as he felt that even when he tried hard to do something, it was never good enough!! In the end it led to a complete breakdown between the school and my ds. At the 11th hour he was transferred to another school and has been there for 3 weeks.

He has not had one 'incident' in his new school and he is happy for the first time since going to secondary school. He says that the teachers show him respect and in turn he is respectful to them also. I just wish I had moved him years ago!

I feel that your son's punishment is really harsh and instead of giving him detention for homework he did, why didn't they just grade his work accordingly and leave it at that.

My other thought is, what punishment would they give him if he did do something really wrong? If they give this type of punishment out for not doing his homework very good, in his teacher's opinion, where do you go from here? That is what I would be asking the school.

With the greatest of respect,a child who is in Secondary school should not have the option of allowing the relationship between himself and school break down. Schools are there to instill discipline,teach,and enusure learning takes place,not to pander to the whims of every pupil or parent. Respect for teachers should be automatic,aside from exceptional circumstances,and students should not be allowed to decide which teacher deserves respect,and which doesn't.

Parents who allow their kids to dictate in this way are doing them no favours. How does this translate to working life?

DaisyClaire

poet123 wrote: »

With the greatest of respect,a child who is in Secondary school should not have the option of allowing the relationship between himself and school break down. Schools are there to instill discipline,teach,and enusure learning takes place,not to pander to the whims of every pupil or parent. Respect for teachers should be automatic,aside from exceptional circumstances,and students should not be allowed to decide which teacher deserves respect,and which doesn't.

Parents who allow their kids to dictate in this way are doing them no favours. How does this translate to working life?

I agree to a point - but again from my own experiences, some teachers don't try and treat children (or should I say young adults) in an adult manner. I know some of mine had such a chip on their shoulder. I was always very mature for my age and spoke to teachers as I did other adults with a level of respect - but clearly not all respected me either.

NAR

TurnaroundSue wrote: »

One other thought - what if this was a pupil's best effort?

The teacher said it wasn't - which can only have been based on the boy's earlier work, which was obviously to a much higher standard. Also 3 weeks was allowed for the assignment, so the teacher must have been expecting a lot more effort to be put into it than 2 hours work.

NAR

Sorry but I'm not going to take this [EMAIL="!!!!"]!!!![/EMAIL] without reply!

Minxy_Bella wrote: »

Hang on a minute - let's stick to the facts...

1) He's Year 7 - just turned 12. The fact that he did his homework means he cares about his schoolwork.

No it doesn't - his standard of work was unacceptable!

2) The fact that he did his homework independently means that he wants to do well on his own merits, rather than relying on his parents to do the project for him.

Accepted.

3) The fact that he left the project until the last minute shows that he's 12. With probably a million other things that he'd rather do than his homework. That proves he's normal.

If parents feel this way too, is there any point in trying to educate the children?

4) The fact that he spent two hours on the homework proves that he does care about it. He could have spent half an hour and got the same punishment from the bully of a teacher - so how does that teach him a constructive life lesson?

He was given 3 weeks to complete the task so obviously more than 2 hours work was expected. You call the teacher a bully - you have never even met the man! Shall I call you a failure of a teacher? Tags are easily attributed.

5) The fact that he didn't just get one detention for 'not making enough effort' but THREE shows that his teacher is obviously more worried about grades (and a potential rollicking from the HOD) than nurturing a love of Geography in their students.

He cares enough to try and ensure the boy does his best. Did you get loads of rollickings from your HOD then?

6) The fact that he forgot to go to his Friday detention shows that he's erm.....human! Ok, a replacement detention is fair, but to quadruple it? What's the name of this school? Bliddy Dotheboys Hall??????

Forgot my foot! He was trying it on, maybe with some help of his peers, but I applaud the teacher for taking a stance so early in the child's secondary education.

7) Has he kicked or punched another student or teacher? Has he sworn or stolen property? Has he bunked off school and gone on the rampage with a machete? No - his 'crime' is to do his homework, just not to the satisfaction of one teacher.

He paid lipservice to the homework, which he now realises through his punishment, is not going to be accepted.

I am all for instilling discipline into kids but to do that you have to show them respect and set a good example so that they want to emulate your behaviour. Punish them when their behaviour is unacceptable. Not when they've done what has been asked of them - by themselves - on time! That poor child!!!!!

Respect has to be earned. Taking shortcuts and ignoring those in authority is not the way to gain respect!

xxdeebeexx

I think that the punishment is quite unrelated to the 'crime'. I feel that a low effort and attainment grade should have been sufficient, with your son being asked to repeat/ improve on the homework.

Seems to me that the Teacher has problems in controlling the class and is using severe, outdated punishment to gain some respect. I would be very suprised if picking chewing gum was a school policy.

A good, well rounded, inspiational Teacher wouldn't want to, or need to, give out such punishments.

Sever punishment does not = a good school.
However, fair, appropriate discipline usually does = a good school.

Dx