Am I being over sensitive?

poet123

Working in a college I see the result of poor secondary schools every day. So,standards,discipline,and knowing that you have to do as you are told or face the consequences are the mark of a good school.

I have a child in y7 too,and although I would have been a bit miffed if he had spent 2 hours making the model and it was deemed unacceptable,I would not have intervened. I would be keeping an eye on the situation with the teacher though,in case this was the start of a personality clash.

However, I would also be supporting the school for the detention issue,missing a detention implies you did not see the need to do the punishment,or you would have made sure you were there. Increasing the number will concentrate the mind wonderfully. The chewing gum issue is probably standard detention practice.

bandraoi

First, if he had three weeks to do a project, he was obviously expected to spend more than two hours on it. No matter how hard he worked in the two hours, it's unlikely that it met any sort of a standard.

By your own admission you didn't see it before it was handed in, so you have no idea what standard it was at. The issue here is your sons performance, which didn't meet the standard required. The work of the other children is totally irrelevant. The three detentions are perhaps slightly excessive, but it is within the teachers authority, and I think you should think extremely carefully about undermining the teachers authority with so little cause.

As others have said "forgetting" a detention, is just pulling the !!!!. If he genuinely forgot it, he should have addressed the situation at his first chance and not just before his second detention.

To be honest, it sounds like this teacher is trying to get your son to grow up and learn how to take responsibility for his own work and his own actions. If anything I would ring the teacher up and thank him for putting in the effort.

bestpud

You say he spent two hours on it, but if you didn't see the finished product, how do you know he spent two hours on it?

Maybe the first thing to do, if you are going to intervene, is ask to see the project, or you may well end up with egg on your face!

I presume he'd have taken more care in choosing materials etc had he not left it until the night before, and that will reflect in the finished project as much as any artisitc talent he may have applied.

And the teacher did acknowledge he had bothered, by giving him less detentions than the ones who did nothing at all. A good teacher will know what they can produce at that age, and whether mum or dad is likely to have helped.

As for 'forgetting' the detention: that is the worst bit as far as I am concerned. It shows a disregard for authority and I think the punishment for that is spot on.

Plus they were only lunchtime detentions; that many after school detentions may be a bit harsh.

The chewing gum task isn't very nice but if it deters him from getting another detention...

I can only go on my experience here but having had two children go to poor schools and one now at a school which is strict, it does make a big difference. Let them get on with it; your son will thank them one day.

TurnaroundSue

My ds school is like this and instead of instilling a sense of responsibility into him, I think it affected his self-esteem and self-worth, as he felt that even when he tried hard to do something, it was never good enough!! In the end it led to a complete breakdown between the school and my ds. At the 11th hour he was transferred to another school and has been there for 3 weeks.

He has not had one 'incident' in his new school and he is happy for the first time since going to secondary school. He says that the teachers show him respect and in turn he is respectful to them also. I just wish I had moved him years ago!

I feel that your son's punishment is really harsh and instead of giving him detention for homework he did, why didn't they just grade his work accordingly and leave it at that.

My other thought is, what punishment would they give him if he did do something really wrong? If they give this type of punishment out for not doing his homework very good, in his teacher's opinion, where do you go from here? That is what I would be asking the school.

minimoneysaver

If you trust the school, have faith in them and let them do what they feel is right. I am sure that your son will benefit in the end. A bit of gum scrapping didn't do any of us any harm.... just remind him to wash his hands after, lol! Sorry :-)
I was talking with my daughters grand parents today (her dad's parents), they were both teachers. We were talking about the impact of teachers being told that they can't say anything negative to their pupils. What does this lead to??? Possibly slightly higher self esteem, but I (and they) feel that the negatives far out weigh any positives. What will happen when this child enters the work place, having never been told anything negative? Will they break down in tears when they are told that their work is no good? Will they answer their boss back, lose their temper, throw a tantrum and lose their jobs? Who knows what the outcome will be, but I am sure it won't be positive.

TurnaroundSue

One other thought - what if this was a pupil's best effort?

Newly_retired

A good school will have a homework policy, with suggested lengths of time per subject per night/week, so how much time is a pupil expected to spend on geography in Year 7? If more than 2 hours, maybe fair enough to say not enough effort has been made, but it is worth finding out the expectations.

A good school will also have a policy on sanctions and it should not be up to an individual teacher to be able to just add detention on detention, plus additional punishments. That way there can be no parity for similar offences, nor a system of incremental punishments as the offences get more serious.

Rather than speak to the individual teacher, I would let my child finish out the series of punishments, so you show support for the school and its authority and the principles of getting homework done properly.
Then I would write in requesting a meeting with the Head of Year or Pastoral Deputy or Deputy/Assistant Head responsible for discipline. A good school will have a handbook or similar informing parents who to approach if they have concerns. You can then raise the issues ( of homework and discipline ) in a calm way, as a genuine concern, not as an angry parent out to get a particular teacher who has perhaps been misguided in his/her interpretation of the expectations.

skellysgirl

Why not spin it round here, how about all the children in the class who made a big effort, spent three weeks actually working on their project. How would they feel if someone waltzes in with a model which is obviously not thought about, and gets away with it, they will think ah well next time ill just do that. Three weeks is more than enough and quite frankly in the real world of work he would not get such allowances.

I would suggest that rather than fighting the school, speak to them see what issues the teacher had about the project and learn from them, help your son see what he should have maybe done. Its for his benefit in the long run.
I think right now its your pride that's hurt let it go, and consider the fact as his parent its your job to guide him, sometimes that means putting aside our pride and feelings that our child is the most wonderful object in the world and teaching them a lesson for their own good.

minimoneysaver

How about another train of thought... why don't you get your son to redo the project properly and take his time this time? It would teach him a valuable lesson and also let the teachers know that you are serious about your childs education. What was the project about?

emily_jackson

Kirri wrote: »

The child was incorrectly punished in the first place!

In your opinion