Oh the shame of bankruptcy!!! What will the neighbours, the cat, the postman think?

Summer1969

My only grown up relations are 2 sisters so told them as we are pretty close, I don't feel you can go through something as emotional and important as BR and hide it, support is so crucial. Also told my best friend but apart from that, no-one else need know. I wasn't bothered about it being in the papers, I never read that part, and most people probably don't, but if anyone did, doesn't bother me.

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Lensman.....hang on in there...you are doing a great job so far & I can so identify with your account of the depression stuff ....& I really understand your feelings about psychiatrists ..they have made me feel like they are just trying to find a reason from childhood why do they do that???

Anyway...I used to really care about whether anyone knew of my debt issues....some were my fault & I hold my hands up & some were poor business decisions on the renovation project....I feel I am beyond that now & if someone asks then I tell them.

Life is too short & I have made enough mistakes.

Angexx

PS.....Waspy.....is it REALLY a year ????!!!!! Well done Sweetheart ...you`re made it through a difficult chapter in your life x

Lost2

I couldn't give a rats !!!! about the neighbours

philnicandamy

to what everyone thinks!

raradel

When I first realised that Bankruptcy was the only reasonable option for me I felt terribly ashamed and as though I was letting my children and husband down by becoming a dreaded bankrupt.

I got the forms in August 2008 and didnt fill them in until February this year when I got a letter from a creditor threatening to send debt collectors round in 7 days if I didnt pay in full. Anyway once I had - received that letter things seemed alot clearer to me it was much less embarrassing (in my opinion to apply for BRO than have debt collectors/bailiffs knocking on my door)
I realised that by having the chance to start again through bankruptcy I would be more able to support my family in ways other than financially.
My debt had left me incredibly depressed and I wouldnt leave the house except to take my eldest to school or nip to the shop and generally felt like giving up.
As soon as I received my BRO I literally felt like a HUGE weight had been lifted and immediately began to be the mum my adorable children deserve.
Who cares what any one else thinks, the relief you feel afterwards makes you oblivious.

sorry its so long x

ChampagneCharlie

I've read quite abit now on this thread and elsewhere. It matters little IMHO what people think of you going BR.

Some people who I thought would give me some sympathy turned out to be the opposite, and others with whom I'd ascribed a quite different reaction, were very supportive. So, its human nature all over again, contrarian and usually unguessable.

The important thing is to try and keep smiling. It'll upset your detractors and your real friends will think you're made of adamantium. (Of course you may not feel that way inside, but do try, it's harder to be glum after all).

Last and not least, the people on this forum should be congratulated for their fortitude, compassion and general Samaritan ways. I'm still alittle way off my personal date with Armaggeddon, but I'll never forget the help & encouragment I've had from this place.

All the best to all of you :A

CC

Tobiwan_Kenobi

It's strange just how similar everyones' stories are on here - The number of people who have got in a mess because of failing businesses and those diagnosed with depression (as I was a couple of years back). That said, although there have been some low moments in the last ten days since BR, I have been able to remain relatively upbeat.

I have told close friends and family about BR and received nothing but support. Some people are still asking me for financial advice as they always have!

When people have been surprised about my mood I have explained that I reasoned I can either see things as the end of an era or a new start. Personally, I would rather look at the latter and crack on. It really is a new start - I even managed to remain on a positive when the bailiff called yesterday chasing last year's council tax!

You will really find out who your true friends are - I have and I've been very pleasantly surprised. Even when I have had to resign as a charity trustee people have been nothing less than supportive.

startingover

This is a really interesting thread and answers a question I was going to ask.

My problem is that I was considering going BR (infact no choice really) and I've met a wonderful man but I'm too ashamed to tell him about my finances. We've talked about the future, living together and getting married but I don't feel I can burden him with my problems and feel so ashamed.

If I live with him and go BR will the OR look into our joint incomes in the household?

Thanks in advance.