Oh the shame of bankruptcy!!! What will the neighbours, the cat, the postman think?

Lensman_2

Bethankim wrote: »

I have been really honest about it with family and friends - I have just about come out the other after a car accident triggered my nervous breakdown.

I actually think there is more stigma attached to having a long term mental health condition than bankruptcy.

[snip]

Thanks for that.

All my family and friends know that BR is the next big thing for me and have all been supportive. (OK, my Mum would be more comfortable if I didn't discuss it to start with... but she is OK when it does come up).

But I have told nobody that I have been horribly depressed for the last 2 1/2 years. Something I have had treatment for previously, but not this time (coz this one is all my own fault. I really am so crap). I am feeling the shoots of recovery now, so you guys have my confession here and now.

I wouldn't have said it a month ago..

So thanks for your post Bethankim, you are very right.

Jim

yellowmonkey

No way are you crap Lensman.

You have given out some great advice recently and Perhaps I have a problem as I take St Johns Wort every day just scared to admit it.

There you go another confession .

ym

Bethankim

Jim (i couldnt find a hug one )

you are never responsible for depression,its simply our bodies way of trying to tell us we have more worries in our head than we have space..well thats my take on it,.

Thank you for sharing, and enjoy everyone of those few shoots of recovery.

If any one of you ever finds its too dark to see please say, pm me if you wish...

hugs to you all xx

jenni75

:A Jim, I really hope that you get strength from knowing that so many care. I suffered stress, but to be honest it was just my body reacting to the situation. I never told a single person when I had post natal depression, and blimey I don't half regret that. To think that I could have had help if I had the guts to admit it at the time. It would never have lasted as long as it did.

I applaud your strenth of character in admiting it. I wish you all the best on finding the answer which will help you. You are in no way crap, your advice has helped so many.

affluenza

Lensman - I considered the absolute last resort 3 times, did loads of research on how to top myself, I was that interested in the various techniques I totally forgot about actually carrying it out.

My doctor daignosed clinical depression and sent me to see a psychiatrist who rather cliche-like seemed more interested in my childhood rather than what I had worked out for myself i.e. reactive depression.

I went one time to see him, and I had no faith in him at all. I asked the psychiatrist if he had ever suffered from depression - he evaded the question.

What I ended up doing - and I don't suggest this works for everybody - was taking triple doses of St John's Wort. Asda are absolute life savers, because their version is on a 2 bottle for £4 promotion. I do still take them from time to time - if I am feeling self-destructive (i.e. self esteem and "nobody love me" etc.) - or if I can tell I am feeling down or irritable.

The reason for going that route was that I was terrified that what I would be prescribed would cause my thinking to slow down.

Lensman_2

YM - thanks. I will look in to the St John's wort thing. Part of me knows I am not really crap, feeling like that is just an inescapable part of being depressed. Helping others on here has helped me in that respect.

Bethankim - thanks. I never thought an e-hug could work but it did .

Jenni. I'm a bit embarrased to have caused a fuss really. But I do feel the support from you guys. Thank you.

Affluenza. The feeling of wanting it all over, really had enough, want to go now and such are gone. I did apply an engineer's brain to the solution though and had the right one prepared. I can honestly (and very gladly) say I am past that now.
Yes, psychiatrists are rubbish. The best thing mine did was refer me to a CPN who was bloody brilliant. 20 years ago now - blimey! The stuff they gave me back then turned me in to a zombie. I couldn't do my job properly so I stopped taking them.

Thank you all for your support. Hopefully, someone will read these posts who is in a similar situation will feel less alone as a result. By the nature of it, they are not going to post a "Hey - yeah, me too. Thanks" reply.

Thank you.

Jim

jellygirl_2

YM - thats how I feel - Im not feeling totally wonderful about being BR but there's worse things and its my business. Not too chuffed about people finding out (if they do) by seeing my name in the paper - seems like a name 'n' shame to me, but cant do anything about that.

movingforward2010

jellygirl wrote: »

YM - thats how I feel - Im not feeling totally wonderful about being BR but there's worse things and its my business. Not too chuffed about people finding out (if they do) by seeing my name in the paper - seems like a name 'n' shame to me, but cant do anything about that.

the name and shame in the local paper is such a mean thing to do. Ok it could be because of gambling debts, or it could be because someone has lost their job and their partner has died and left them with unmanageable debts.

I'm surprised they haven't stopped it

karma_police

I don't care what people think of me going bankrupt, it is about me and my family and us taking the steps to a better life, after having years of stress of not being able to pay things etc. I have only told the people that matter, I did feel a bit nervous about my name being in the paper and who would see but in the end I thought any true friend would see it and not mention it or ask me in private. There are a lot of people in the same situation, who are going to maybe have to go the same route that we have taken. There is not the same stigma attached to going BR at all and it is surprisingly easy process once the paperwork has been done. I do wonder why I did not do it before now looking back.

Hopefully 2009 will be a better year, and maybe a new beginning for me and my family :T

haleygrey

I only told a few people, but the ones I told were totally supportive and as ive said before, once i made the decision, it made a difference to all of my life! LIke many of the peeps on here, i suffer from depression too and the money worries made it worse, but with the help of everybody i got through the horrid time over christmas and am now looking for things to do! As for the paper, i dont know if i was in there, forgot to buy one and nobody i know has said anything!