The Quest - 2

moo2moo

Well hello there Space Cadet Lula, Queen of the Prawn deliveries. No wonder there haven't been any new posts on The Quest for ages you've moved house.

Very impressed with your NSDs I haven't managed any. Its been a whirlwind of Comic Relief fancy dress days, cake sales, book fairs, riding lessons, parcel posting and other frivolaties. Its less than a week since pay day so the remainder of the month will be very interesting.

OH got a phone call from his boss last night asking if he could drop everything and fly to Italy via the London Head Office, work through the night and fly back late tomorrow (today now) or perhaps Thursday. The world has clearly gone bonkers. Happily he told him to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

At least your E in business studies is a recognised grade. I got a N for nearly but not quite in Physics and a U for useless or ungradeable in Pure Math with Mechanics. After that little disaster school reviewed their policy and decided that 7 A-levels were unattainable by any normal person.

Lula-Hula

Hey moo

yes, though it best to let the original Quest RIP - too much space taken up by ridiculous men :rolleyes: . Anyway glad you've found me & feel free to drop off some of pearls of wisdom at any point, although I'm a bit miffed as thanks to you I've nearly had a hobnob emergency - was so busy reading your thread that I forgot to take them out of the oven :eek: anyway the smell alerted me & fortunately as I'd already turned the oven off after the first batch (yes, you can do that with gas too ) they are just a bit dark... & amazingly the only one that was actually burnt fell into the sink during transferrence to window sill cue sizzling to accompany smoke :rotfl: .

Right, must now hide hobnobs from magpies, sheep & ponies - it's amazing how rural it looks here considering we're in spitting distance of the orbital car park :rolleyes:

Prawns all packed & ready to go,

bye for now

lula
xx

Lula-Hula

Feeling very weary tonight ;

I did the usual 2 hours trek & have discovered that there are far too many houses & why on earth is there not a label under the road name to declare what type of properties it includes .

I trudged around a whole estate this morning & over half the houses are not the type that I deliver prawns too :mad: . And whose stupid idea was it to decide to join houses back to back rather than side to side :rolleyes: . Why does the road sign not declare this either :mad: .

After all that I then had to go to tatco for food shopping. I bought very healthy stuff :A & only spent £ 29.69 on groceries - the other £17 was on household stuff ... like loo rolls candles, pretty whicker balls & foundation :shhh:

I did a bit more 'trimming' in the garden this afternoon, whizzed over to do some recycling & then when DD was playing on the pc I fell asleep for an hour, which meant that I missed my blood donating appointment

I have pile of paper work to be filed / bills to be paid & still havent registered as self employed :eek: . I want a nice job where I get to dress nicely & look pretty, sit down & have someone else deal with tax & NI - oh yes, 4 weeks paid holiday would be fab too :rolleyes: .

Need to retrain for when DD goes to secondary school, cant afford to retrain as have no money as paying off debt. Cant afford the money or time to finish degree. Cant see a way out & fear will end up working at tatco & living in one of the horrible retirement houses I have to visit where for some inexplicable reason people have fake plants in their gardens ; I saw an arch entwined with about 8ft of artificial clematis today

Please nobody tell me that this is as good as it gets :eek:


G'nite
lula
xx

Shoe_Gal

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Feeling very weary tonight ;

Please nobody tell me that this is as good as it gets :eek:

Hi Lula

Hope you are feeling better today? We all have our down days, but you are usually such a positive person:D

I promise this is not as good as it gets, there are better things around the corner all of us

Shoe Gal x

Lula-Hula

Aww thanks Shoe Gal :A I really appreciate that encouragement.

Really struggling with stuff at the moment ie what to do for the best re work. It's great to be able to put it all down here & maybe find a way forwards.

Although I was propelled forwards into the leafletting when worked dropped off at an alarming rate & 1) I was going under the hours necessary to receive working tax credit & 2) I feared being unable to make CC repayments :eek: , it now seems to have stabilized & I'm just about doing the minimum hours required.

I absolutely hate doing the leaflets Not the actual delivery bit - that part I'm enjoying & just getting out & seeing people & of course this week the weather's been great. I utterly loathe & despise the content & shame sits on my shoulder the whole time I'm out. Other people may be able to just think that it's a job but my conscience / ethics / sensitivity or whatever is too strong. One thing the counselling has illuminated is that my self esteem is pretty low & doing this isnt helping.

In spite of the sun I was nearly in tears today at the thought that this is just another 'biding time' job & will lead precisely nowhere. The thought that any bonus I may receive will be because someone has just given away the deeds to their home makes me feel sick & right now I'd rather not earn one.

I encountered a sweet man who asked if I was ok (sniffling away ) & he was also doing leafletting but for an estate agent. He said he loves it & has been doing it over here ( possibly Polish ) since 2008 :eek: . He gave me the phone number of his boss & said I should call him as people are always leaving & being unreliable. Huh, unreliable just isnt allowed when you're single & a parent; nor is illness or a social life apparently :rolleyes: .

That encounter cheered me up a bit & then a lady who came out of her door as I was leafletting asked whether I would be interested in doing Avon as she was looking for reps in her area & as I was out walking & doing deliveries anyway ... It's a possibility depending on whether there are start up costs :rolleyes:
Hmmm, I am the woman who bought a load of expensive beauty products when a 'friend' started as a beauty consultant - I mean hundreds of pounds ( yes that all went on the CC too ) but never actually sold anything as I didnt have the confidence to organise parties in my home & not enough wealthy contacts to buy the stuff :rolleyes:

Have rung up about the leaflet distrubtion work that arrived via my letterbox & waiting for an info pack on that. I dont care whether it's pizzas, hearing aids, carpet cleaning or funeral care... anything but heinous property dealers.

Have been trying to speak to job 1 boss but she's always out, need to fill in forms for council tax / rent benefit.

My head is spinning & I have to go to DDs assembly in an hour - it's her first big speaking role & she's so excited & nervous. I just want her to enjoy it without feeling all the presusure of expectation & performing well that I did as a child.

Going to scour job centre site & gumtree for eligible jobs & men in no particular order :rotfl:

Shoe_Gal

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Going to scour job centre site & gumtree for eligible jobs & men in no particular order :rotfl:

Sounds like a plan :rotfl: :rotfl:

I understand your feelings about the leaflets, but I think you need to see it as a means to an end until something better comes along. Looking after yourself and your daughter need to be your priority and with that in mind, I'd say anything, as long as it's legal :rolleyes: , is OK right now

Don't be hard on yourself!

Shoe Gal x

Lula-Hula

Thank once again Shoe Gal :A

apologies for the slightly hysterical whingeing earlier I've now broken my own thread rule by not being positive :mad:

I watched DD in her class assembly & she was great, played the recorder perfectly & spoke slowly & clearly Fortunately I'd shed all my tears earlier so I wasnt able to cry with pride - she would have disowned me :rolleyes:

I've scoured the job sites having come to the conclusion that I'm not prepared to go self employed under these circumstances; if it was for a particular skill or trade or passion then that would be ok, but not for the 'repo' man; the implications for tax, car insurance, mileage & all the paperwork & record keeping etc are just too much for very little return so I quit. I've found a couple of jobs that might have potential; one in a library which I've always fancied doing & another working in care home which I've never fancied...but hey ho :rolleyes: .

I really feel that this is pivotal moment in my life & if I continue with the same type of low paid, zero skill type of work I'm just selling myself short & will never break free & back into the 'real' job market & be stuck forever on the fringe of society. I need to remember that I only started doing this type of work when made redundant a month before the ex decided to quit being a responsible adult/partner/parent & I was left with an 11 month old baby & an eviction notice to deal with :rolleyes: . Previous to that I had a good job & I need to regain some useful skills that I can build on for the future... according to the pensions website I still have another 38 years of work before I can retire :eek:

Time to redo the budget again ...

Wol2

Hunny bun

I don;t know what qualifications you have...but one thing I KNOW I can say, having met you personally and lurked here for ages....you are a very accomplished and intelligent lady.........the world is your oyster.

If you want to have conflab on possibles of where to go now ref job etc...I would be only too willing to help. You are SUCH a treasure.....both as a person and as a prospective employee.....

Don;t give up heart.........a pow-wow is calling methinks..........

Hugs
xxxx
Wol2
xxx

moo2moo

Lula don't be so hard on yourself! Being a single parent really can't be easy. Its hard enough with a very supportive OH behind me. Your daughter sounds like a very intelligent, healthy, happy, well balanced and incredibly well loved child. Thats all down to you. Pull your socks up girl and stop snivelling in the corner you've achieved so much already!

If you don't feel comfortable with something don't do it. Lifes too short to spend it doing things you don't enjoy.

Avon is a means to an end. The only outlay is around £15 after two campaigns and your brochures. You'll very quickly work out who buys and who really isn't interested. I did it for a year and got to the point where I could manage £50 every 3 weeks for a few hours work (appart from the heinous post Christmas months). It was just one thing too many on top of everything else. Like everything else in life give it a try. Summer is looming and pople buy tons of Avon sun tan lotion. If you don't like it then simply stop. Once you've covered your £15 outlay its all profit anyway.

Why not try cleaning other peoples houses if you need a little extra cash once in a while? OK not fabulous but both the cleaners at school do this. They pick and choose their clients and one of them even gets away with not cleaning bathrooms. The other doesn't iron but both charge £8 an hour for a minimum 2 1/2 hours.

All the qualifications in the world don't guarantee a great job or even a good job but they will land you with a shed load of debt, less time with DD as you'll end up with tons of homework and despite the qualifications you don't get any experience whilst at college or uni. People want experience and enthusiam not grades. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. 5 year BSc (Hons), 6 A-levels (ranging from B-U), 1 AS level, 10 GCSEs and a job that I love which is barely above minimum wage.

And finally.... the Lula we all know and love does not have low self esteem! Crap taste in men yes, low self esteem definately not. Dr. Moo prescribes a picnic in the park, several goes on the swings during which you are obliged to scream wheeeeeeeee rather loudly and a large calorie filled ice-cream on the way home. If I were getting carried away I would go on to suggest an american style empowerment celebration which would require you to stand in the middle of the aforementioned park sans clothing and shout to the world. My name is Lula and I'm proud to be me! However whilst it might work for the yanks it would end up with you being disowned by DD and being arrested for indecent exposure in a public place. Good way to meet policemen though if you have a thing about men in uniform.

Hollyberry

I see that Moo, Wol and Shoe Gal have already been in to offer fab support. :T Lula, please don't be so hard on yourself. Have a fine dodgy hug. :grouphug: And Dr Moo's large prescription icecream which is medicinal and bears zero calories. I'd offer you one of my brandysnaps if I didn't think they would give you dental problems to add to the mix. Can nip out for a tarte au citron instead?

Don't write off all the skills and attributes you have that a mainstream employer would really value. As a recruiter, I would be truly impressed with someone in your situation - there are plenty of people out there with qualifications, but true grit and determination is in short supply. You've done what was needed to keep body and soul together and provide a happy loving home for DD. You are hardworking, articulate, supportive to others....hey, I could go on, but you know this really - just need to let yourself see what others can see.

I can imagine you in a library job. Hearing you talk about what you have read, you would be well placed to help other readers, and I can visualise you pottering happily amongst the shelves in the same way that you potter in the allotment. Meet Lula the funky librarian, making reading even more supercool...

What sort of job do you really dream about? I know you don't want to be faffing with the mechanics of self-employment, but what would make your heart glad? Perhaps the prawn deliveries can give you plenty of thinking time - but focusing on the possibilities rather than beating yourself up? And then baby steps in that direction...over time, when you are ready, and without being too hard on yourself. Give yourself credit for focusing on what was necessary in an emergency situation, and that can now buy you time to move forward for better things.