the daydream fund challenge thread

RAS

lostinrates wrote: »

''that's different we don't like that''. I posted in the families board about it all before but we were told on our first approach we were ''too middle class'' and would give children unattainable ambitions what with me being a stay at home an dh being what he is.

I know a family who adopted two girls. Fortunately it was rather late in the day when the social worker realised that the family were not going to treat the adopted children differently to their own child. When the social worker protested, the very middle class father pointed out that the adopted and original children would all get pretty confused if a) different rules were seen to apply to adopted and original children b) the adopted children were allowed to behave differently and then told to modify their behaviour x amount and then told that was now unacceptable and another set or rules applied. They were going to be consistent from the start.

Obviously they did not punish the children when they did not "behave" as expected, but gently explained what was expected and kept going at it.

Ps I think getting mucky, fresh air, laughs and a good nights sleep were part of the deal.

choille

Mallotum X - that's some garden. Love the blog - really well done with great photos.

Fostering would be handy if they they could help build the house, shin up the scaffolding, but we'd have to house them in hutches as the caravan is slightly cramped. Do they come in pairs? Have they been wormed?

Davesnave

Most kids have at least two personas, one for school, another for home, and often a third for when they're out with their mates.

I worked with kids in a children's home in the 70s. They could switch their 'home' personality on and off in order to comply with the wishes of the 'Uncles and Aunties,' or at least they could in those days. Never heard a rude word in the home, except maybe in serious arguments.

On the whole, they were pretty well-behaved children who were a pleasure to be with; just emotionally fragile.

Talking about vetting: As a student, I began my work with those children on a Monday, and by Thursday of the same week I was in sole charge of the place for the morning, including making the lunch. I remember because some kids from the local estate came into the garden and pinched our fishing rods, but I couldn't leave the premises, so had to wait till 'Auntie Dora' arrived in the afternoon!

RAS

I may have shared this before but...

Once upon a time, I shared a house and we allowed a young woman to borrow a room for the summer holidays whilst she worked on youth scheme.

She allowed some of the local kids to come home and they were all over the house, climbing in and out of windows etc, etc. Threw them out and insisted that in future they were only allowed in the garden. One lad came often as he was locked out of his house because mother had taken disabled brother to hospital/sister had enough of him.

Some months later, a very cold lad was found in the doorway of the corner shop in a shirt on a freezing night. He had of course, cheeked his sister and been thrown out badly dressed with no food, again. Mum might or might not be back from hospital before midnight and dad some time after the pubs shut. After discussion, it was agreed that he could be let in, and given the leftovers from our meal.

He literally dived for the food with both hands and got a boolocking, "Kitchen, plate, knife and fork". We fed him, lent him a sweater and he behaved decently. He was walked home a few times until we found someone to take him in. Thereafter we became a bit of a haven, perhaps once a month. We were pretty firm and he started to behave better. When we mentioned the wine one person was brewing, he fessed up that one of the other lads had peed in the demi-john during the rampage.

He seemed to get locked out less often and we were asked for help with maths homework and the like. The joy he expressed when the teacher accused him of cheating and made him do a whole page of extra sums under supervision, which he got right, was priceless. In time, the visits would be because he needed to study and things at home where chaotic in their single living room, so he used our study.

He got enough good GCSEs to get on the course he wanted, chose his GF because "she may not be the prettiest girl around but she is the nicest" (by a long chalk) and found work in his chosen area. For a lad whose peer group were for the most part in and out of various juvenile offenders institutions that was an acheivement. In one large family all bar three of the "children" were in care of some sort.

Obviously, when we first met him his behaviour at home was pretty demanding because much of the attention went on his brother, and the basics of shelter and food were sometimes missing as a result. I think being treated reasonably and firmly and discovering people outside school and home who cared for him made a big difference.

These days, no doubt everyone would be freaking out about vetting.

Davesnave

Mallotum, I needed a bit of time to look at your blog, but now I have, it'll go into my bookmarks. Great pictures and theme.:)

I've never been able to do a themed garden, but might have a go, once the basics have been sorted out here. We have quite a few suitable subjects, though the wind makes it a little tricky for larger leaved plants. For example, the previous owner planted a Tulip Tree and that's so ill it will have to come down. My Paulownias are doing OK, but they'll be spending the winter in the conservatory, as will the abutilons and the Alogyne (wouldn't be without that.)

As reported elsewhere, we had our first egg yesterday, and very tasty it was too. Now if we can just have a few more to bring the unit cost down...:o

lostinrates

Davesnave wrote: »

As reported elsewhere, we had our first egg yesterday, and very tasty it was too. Now if we can just have a few more to bring the unit cost down...:o

They'll come,I promise. I have sucha backlog ATM I can't tell you. One of my BEST cookbooks is a beautiful I think 1960s (I shall check the date in it now) book I bought in the Book barn on the basis of its cover and name...The Delectable Egg. The best thing are the huge varieties of ways of cheering up ordinarily prepared (boiled, poached etc ) eggs.


Welcome Mallotum. Your garden is impressive! I'm avidly looking at blogs about gardens all the time atm to explore new plants. ATM I really want to plant a plume poppy because of a blog picture, and now I want a tulip tree Davesnave.....so beautiful!

I'm also really hankering after some fancy bamboo...I'm not really a bamboo person but am enchanted by varieties with swollen nodes....and like the noise of bamboo too.

Davesnave

lostinrates wrote: »

Welcome Mallotum. Your garden is impressive! I'm avidly looking at blogs about gardens all the time atm to explore new plants. ATM I really want to plant a plume poppy because of a blog picture, and now I want a tulip tree Davesnave.....so beautiful!

I'm also really hankering after some fancy bamboo...I'm not really a bamboo person but am enchanted by varieties with swollen nodes....and like the noise of bamboo too.

Plume poppy (Macleaya cordata) - Look out for good varieties like 'Spetchley Ruby' or 'Kelway's Coral Plume' and be prepared for them to take over your garden!

You will get away with a Liriodendron tulipifera where you are. Ours was damaged by the previous owners, who had one last bonfire in the garden, and it has also spilt in several places where the stems join the trunk.

rhiwfield

Davesnave wrote: »

As reported elsewhere, we had our first egg yesterday, and very tasty it was too. Now if we can just have a few more to bring the unit cost down...:o

Hmmm, know what you mean. After buying the coop and run, the hens, powders, sprays, shavings, pellets etc, I reckon we're still north of a £1 an egg :eek:. Nice eggs though!

Reminds me of the discussion on how growing your own saves/doesnt save money. I'm pretty happy that, after sunk costs, we're saving a fair bit of money, especially now that we can get free compost locally. The other aspect is that home grown fruit and veg (and eggs!) are never wasted and are eaten in preference to dearer products. My lunchtime tomato, cucumber, rocket and spring onion sarnies, a staple from July until recently, replaced bought in ham and cheese. Meat content of meals has been cut back and replaced with more veg

Davesnave

rhiwfield wrote: »

Hmmm, know what you mean. After buying the coop and run, the hens, powders, sprays, shavings, pellets etc, I reckon we're still north of a £1 an egg :eek:. Nice eggs though!

Yes, that's why the next hen area will be given over to hybrids, not hobby birds. Even then, we shall be using the eggs as a draw, so that people stop and possibly buy something else.

At the moment, we are not paying for consumables etc, but that situation will not last indefinitely. Eventually, the free stuff will stop when the situation that provides it (quite legitimately) no longer pertains. All that is completely out of our control, but it's nice while it lasts.

lostinrates

Davesnave wrote: »

Yes, that's why the next hen area will be given over to hybrids, not hobby birds. Even then, we shall be using the eggs as a draw, so that people stop and possibly buy something else.

At the moment, we are not paying for consumables etc, but that situation will not last indefinitely. Eventually, the free stuff will stop when the situation that provides it (quite legitimately) no longer pertains. All that is completely out of our control, but it's nice while it lasts.

Some purebreds lay well, I stand by my cochins as reliable. Oldest cochin still lays three eggs most weeks, up to five eggs some weeks this year and she's seven, in there prime I find them as good as all but the most productive hybrids.And they are so beautiful and great for children as they are such docile birds. The main problem is free ranging them in the winter: the leg feathers make them distainful of wet grass, rightly. The marans are hit and miss inmy experience of them (and despite their reputation I find them a standoffish bird), but the eggs ARE tremendous if you get good ones . Legbars are a folly. But my legbarr crosses ARE laying well, regardless of the other breed involved.

I'm going to look at another brown egg breed this year and a white egg breed. I'm tempted by some of the hybrids (mainly for egg colours ) and I'm always of the opinion established hybrids should be considered breeds proper, after all, thats all they all are! (I'm the same about other animal crosses too).