9 Year Old Son Stealing - Dont Know What To Do?

stressedoutmum

My 9 year old has always been an attention seeker. He is always the loudest in the crowd and interrupts when we speak etc but kids do this so we tend to play it down. He is a loveable friendly little boy and is very helpful and well behaved at school. In recent months he has been taking/doing silly things around the house. He sneaks sweets/crisps out the houseto take to school even though he's never denied these things. If he asks for sweets he gets them after tea as we always have them in - same with crisps etc. He takes toys to school or items he is not allowed to - he's come in with things from school that he says people have given him or he has 'found' in his school tray ie sweets, whole packs of chewing gum etc. He messes about doing silly things around the house. Whenever he is in the bathroom or toilet he messes about - playing with the soil in the plants - spraying deodorant or shaving foam - he's always up to something so we virtually have to stand guard while he is there.Last week we found some money (about £3) in his pocket which he said was from his bank but we have had to put his bank up where he can't reach it because most of his money has gone missing so we know it didnt come from his bank but he won't tell us where. We've tried shouting, screaming, talking, grounding, reward charts, removing favourite toys etc. He knows its wrong and always promises to stop getting into trouble but today the school phoned us to say they had found almost £19 on him. Apparently he had gone to the mid-day supervisor and asked her to watch it for him. He said it was his birthday money and that his parents knew he had it on him. They took the money off him and called us. When he came in from school he denied all knowledge of it happening until we started walking back to school then he finally admitted taking it from his brother's bank. He doesnt know why he took it and that's the answer we get all the time. He's very much loved and gets lots of attention from us both and we do absolutely loads with both kids. We praise him when he's done really well and now I don't know what to do. We think he is doing all these silly things for attention but I'm can't understand why because he gets loads of it from me and his dad as a family and as an individual. Where do I go next?

notlongnow_2

Hi, My boy is ten and does some similar things to your boy. My boy is very quiet and withdrawn at home but is really really silly at school. I find empty sweet/crisp packets under his bed and he denies taking them even though he knows he can have them if he asks.

I once found a gameboy game on him, he said he found it on the way home from school. His brother dropped him in it as he said it started at the same level as their cousins....he's stolen it from her!! Took me nearly 4 days of every trick in the book to get him to admit it and he eventually did, and I was mortified that he did it.

like you, I have no idea why he does it. He is loved and praised but still feels the need to sneak things.

I dont really have any constructive advice for you, but just to let you know, your boy isnt the only one.

onetomany

i have 2boys 12 years and 6 years , i dont have the same problem ibut i have big probs with my 6 year old he has learnig difficults , but every playtime he does something silly like throws his boots from hospital over wall or what anybody tells him to i think he does it to fit in teachers say hes so innocinet with it and always tells the trouth, he will sit still now iat storytime etc but he has to have something in his hands or he wonders around, dont blame yourself hun all my friends boys seem to collect things like stones in pokets wonder if its a boy thing?

KellyWelly

My son is 7 and my daughter is 4. We've had to stop buying any kind of snack items or sweets or chocolate at all because as soon as our backs are turned they snaffle the whole lot. I found my daughter last week hidden behind the sideboard in the lounge eating some old stale meringues she'd found at the back of the pantry. Whenever I clean up my son's room I will find crisp wrappers and sweetie wrappers and crisp wrappers, more often than not from items I've never seen or bought before. Once recently he had a collection of milkshake bottles in his bottom drawer and I've never bought him milkshake. I still don't know where they came from.

My son also 'finds' pennies around the house and he often takes things to school. His best hiding place so far was down his socks. He picks up any small items and puts them in his pockets, especially stones and shells and bits of twigs - all for his nature bucket - or sometimes stones are little gifts for me.

I think to a certain extent it's normal behaviour. I know my two like to have little conspiracies from their dad and me.

Spendless

My almost 9yo does similar stuff. Is your ds making 'potions'? Mine is out of the toiletries in the bathroom, if we had any potted plants in there, he may well have added some soil too! I remember doing very similar when I was around same age, making 'perfume' with my dad's rose petals- must have driven him nuts.:D

I gave ds some toiletries I didn't want/like and let him make his mixtures up with them.

When he was younger I discovered that he'd got a 2 day rule on any money left lying around the house. If it hadn't moved in 2 days-he swiped it for his pig! He did stop doing this though when I explained that it was still the original owners even after 2 days.

Oh and the day he asked to take his ds to school and I refused, it just made it's way into his pocket all by magic! He learnt his lesson though whe he thought it had gone!

KellyWelly

OH POTIONS

I remember doing that. We used to use everything up and my poor mum would be left with no perfume or shampoo. And we picked every one of our dad's roses off his garden full of rose bushes to soak in water and make perfume.

I remember going through a phase of making glue with flour and whatever toiletries I could get my hands on, I really used it to stick paper up on the walls as well.

Money_maker

KellyWelly wrote: »

My son is 7 and my daughter is 4. We've had to stop buying any kind of snack items or sweets or chocolate at all because as soon as our backs are turned they snaffle the whole lot. I found my daughter last week hidden behind the sideboard in the lounge eating some old stale meringues she'd found at the back of the pantry. Whenever I clean up my son's room I will find crisp wrappers and sweetie wrappers and crisp wrappers, more often than not from items I've never seen or bought before. Once recently he had a collection of milkshake bottles in his bottom drawer and I've never bought him milkshake. I still don't know where they came from.

I'm afraid my lot would have to tell me where things like this came from. I would usually let them off the hook if they told the truth but were punished for any lies.

You know the scenario, two kids, something broken or whatever. 'Who did such and such?'. Not me in unison.

When your kids lose something at school which they dearly treasured (may only be a favourite trading card/pen/rubber etc) you assume the parent of another child which you suspect may have taken it would find it and insist on its return. Not if they have absolutely no clue what their child brings into the house.

remembered_nights

I remember doing this sort of stuff when I was very young (probably 7ish) I have no idea why or why I stopped at some point... didn't grow up into some kind of master criminal though Is it just a phase some kids go through?

JemJam

remembered_nights wrote: »

I remember doing this sort of stuff when I was very young (probably 7ish) I have no idea why or why I stopped at some point... didn't grow up into some kind of master criminal though Is it just a phase some kids go through?

Same here, i used to nab a few quid here and there (once a tenner-was a jackpot @ the time but i could do with the money now tbh lol), creme eggs (3 in one go once and i didn't even like them!), probably more stupid things but i dunno what now. I was between 9 -11yrs old, have noooooooo idea why I did it and i feel guilty to this DAY about it even though i was only a kid and did it with no malice or anything:o

I remember when my parents found out about the creme egg thing cos they rolled out of my pocket when we got home from shopping :rotfl:and i absolutely papped myself lol, looking back its such a stupid thing to do (cant stop giggling lol:p) but I think i just did it without thinking really. My rents were getting a divorce at the time but that had little to no effect on me cos i didn't even discover they'd got divorced till i was about 12, and it had happened a yr or 2 before!! Very observant child :rolleyes:

Needless to say i'm no theif now, i guard my things and others' with my life now and give dirty looks to anyone who takes a second glance lol.

But seriously I wouldn't worry about it, if the haul starts to increase or more dodgy things are going missing then mayyyyybe there'd be an issue, and even though i dont have kids so am no expert, I bet there are so many others who went through the same thing and turned out just fine - all you need to do is keep an eye on it like you obv already are.

KellyWelly

Money_maker wrote: »

I'm afraid my lot would have to tell me where things like this came from. I would usually let them off the hook if they told the truth but were punished for any lies.

You know the scenario, two kids, something broken or whatever. 'Who did such and such?'. Not me in unison.

When your kids lose something at school which they dearly treasured (may only be a favourite trading card/pen/rubber etc) you assume the parent of another child which you suspect may have taken it would find it and insist on its return. Not if they have absolutely no clue what their child brings into the house.

I'm familiar with Mr Notme Nobody!!

My kids aren't stealing crisps and sweets and milk shake from kids at school. I think the most likely source is grandparents tbh :rolleyes: My little boy collects lots of things to use for junk modelling, the milkshake bottles were for creations.

Savvy_Sue

Although I agree that this isn't abnormal behaviour, I wonder if it's worth the OP talking to the school about it? Since this is being carried over to school, there may be other things going on, and they may be able to arrange for an assessment by an Educational Psychologist.

Forgive me if you've already said, where is he in the family - oldest, youngest, middle?