The 'cant afford a baby' generation?

lynzpower

Chivers, thanks for that.
INterestingly its 45pd for a childminder here where I am in Zone 1, and 35pd around-and-about in Bournemouth....

chivers1977

I guess you get used to paying more for the privelidge of living in Zone 1 in London as you save so much on travelling.......

lynzpower

thats true isnt it. And also im guaranteed to make more than 200pcm more by being in london, than i would in bournemouth. Lots of the jobs I could do from a browse at the website are 10k less than what im on now....

Suddenly London is starting to look slightly affordable?!

Or have I got the look of the figures wrong?

chivers1977

I think that you could do it, esp if you can get childcare vouchers through your salary. we earn similar amounts jointly maybe a bit more and have mortgage of over £900 pm and debts etc.

It comes down to whether you both want to and how much you are happy to compromise your lifestyle. You won't want/need tropical hols with little ones as is far too much faffing. You can always save for big things when the child(ren) start school as then you're only looking at £250 approx pm (although Zone1 Sarf of the River may be a bit more again for this).

I say, if you both want children, go for it. If you have doubts, think for a while. i know you are only about my age (32 next wk) and have time still on your side. You can't easily take it back if you change your mind LOL

Floxxie

I shall tell you my story of the week in a minute but just a bit of background on me...

I had a career and then had a child. Child was in nursery from 7.30am until 6.30pm 5 days a week. Both OH and I worked and we were comfortably off but didn't see the baby awake except at weekends. That was fine, everyone else at work did it.

Decided on a second child. Lots of problems...went on for years..became disillusioned with work and missing child who was rapidly growing. Decided to move house whilst we had the 2 salaries. And then I gave up my job. Found a part time job on low pay but excellent commission. Used the commission to overpay mortgage. EBayed. Set up a little business etc. It meant that there was an extra stream of income coming in that would reduce our outgoings and I could spend more time with DS1. Had DS2. Continued with my little 'jobs' and took the whole year off. Went back to work. Came out with £30 a month once childcare paid for.

Then fell with DS3. Couldn't afford to go back to work if I wanted to. No help with childcare. Pay too low. Company has gone bust anyway!. However I have continued to bring in an income of sorts whether I was working full time or part time or not at all. The effect is that we can manage on an average salary with 3 kids. We don't go without but then we don't go mad either.

And now before I finish my essay, here is my story of the week. I have a neighbour who goes on holiday abroad at least once a month. They have wonderful hobbies such as jetskiing and have long weekend parties at their house in the hot tub. Whenever I see her she always tells me how I too could have these things if I hadn't had children and they were not going to add to this overcrowded planet. I told her that I had had a similar life pre-children and would have it again (when the kids leave home!). This conversation has been going on for several years. This week however she stands in front of me in shock telling me how she had been feeling a bit ill and on investigation it had been found that her contraception had failed. She has been sent to the hospital for a dating scan and it turned out she is 26 weeks pregnant. Talk about a change of circumstances.

Sometimes we have great plans for our life, and then sh*t happens! :rotfl:

Great discussion.

Floxxie

Sukatoko

We should all be working towards making a society that works and that improves everyones chances at life. I like livining in UK mostly but often people can be so selfish. We need to look at other european countries that work. We have the worst environment of any european country for bringing up kids.

We have one child and both have masters degrees and 10 years experience in our jobs. Child care costs and finding childcare is a major challenge. We have friends in several european countries who can believe how backward the UK is. We have comparable salaries but UK living costs are higher. Add in childcare and we would probably be not far from minimum wage in France. So its no suprise that people are not having kids. People who think the birth rate is increasing. Its not its immigration of people who are at age to have kids. Most will likely return home at some point with kids.

We make a point of taking our 1 year old out with us to hotels and restaurants. He is very well behaved and has good table manners. You would not believe how many restaurants and hotels don't want kids. Kids, senior citizens and disabled are all part of our society. If people can/will not control there children then yeah throw them out, but to blanket ban all children is nuts. It no wonder children don't know how to behave socially. Even places that except kids have little in the way of basic facilities. Today a restaurant refused to give me a cup of hot water to warm baby food. Well they refused about 6 times until they gave in. Baby changing facilities should be as standard as toilets and easy access for wheel chairs. We are getting there but can't we use some common sense and just do it already. Look at breast feeding. In Scotland it took a law to be passed to say its an offence to prevent a woman from breast feeding in pubic. How stupid is being offended by a child feeding. If you find a child feeding offensive you need to look at your life?

Some people might think I want my cake to eat. Well yeah I do and I see nothing wrong with that.

fernliebee

Sukatoko wrote: »

.

We make a point of taking our 1 year old out with us to hotels and restaurants. He is very well behaved and has good table manners. You would not believe how many restaurants and hotels don't want kids. Kids, senior citizens and disabled are all part of our society. If people can/will not control there children then yeah throw them out, but to blanket ban all children is nuts. It no wonder children don't know how to behave socially. Even places that except kids have little in the way of basic facilities. Today a restaurant refused to give me a cup of hot water to warm baby food. Well they refused about 6 times until they gave in. Baby changing facilities should be as standard as toilets and easy access for wheel chairs. We are getting there but can't we use some common sense and just do it already. Look at breast feeding. In Scotland it took a law to be passed to say its an offence to prevent a woman from breast feeding in pubic. How stupid is being offended by a child feeding. If you find a child feeding offensive you need to look at your life?

Some people might think I want my cake to eat. Well yeah I do and I see nothing wrong with that.

I so agree with this. In the Uk lot's of people seem really against taking children out with them, and everyone want's time away from the kid's. People don't want to be 'disturbed' by other peoples children etc. I think it would be much nicer if we were more family focussed in this country rather than the harping back to the 'seen and not heard' days! Saying that though, it's a vicious circle as children are often not allowed in these places, they don't always know how to behave in them and then live up to peoples prejudices. I'd agree if they are acting up, chuck them out but if they are well behaved then what is the problem?

And don't even get me started on the breastfeeding thing- some people are pathetic! I can *almost* see why a lot of men would be uneducated about it, but it really surprises me how many women give you funny looks, or make comments etc. It's a shame that it is seen as taboo when you rarely see any breast, Yet it is fine for popular daily newspapers to show topless models??????? And the people who say "I don't have a problem with it, but I don't think you should do it in a restaurant. They should go to the toilet." What, might put people off their food? So baby has to eat in a germ ridden dingy room!!!

Ahhhhhh! You got me started! ha ha ha! I'll zip it now!

frivolous_fay

BB1984 wrote: »

Depends where in Dorset you are, but the Bournemouth/Poole area is very well served by buses and trains.

I have to agree... I have lived in Dorset, Hants and Wilts, and since moving North the buses aren't a patch on the ones down there. Wilts & Dorset = top!

Well... perhaps not as fast as driving... but at least they turn up, and release official timetables, are relatively frequent, and have manned stations!

Lunar_Eclipse

TotallyBroke wrote: »

She charges me £2.50 per hour so £25 per day.

Is that a fair comparison to the nursery fees you mentioned? Is £2.50 the market rate for child minding?

Nursery fees are £900-1000/month here in line with your area, but child minding starts at £6.50/hour for EACH child. So I'm wondering if you've either been really lucky in finding a cheap child minder which must mean demand is low vs supply or you have a preferential rate because it's a family member or friend.

Who would look after other people's children for £2.50/hour?:eek:

Lunar_Eclipse

SandC wrote: »

I don't see what's wrong with the term child-free, a lot of people prefer that to using the word childless.



Personally, I prefer the term child-free. Although to me it implies this is more likely to be through choice than heartache; always a good thing.

By the same token, I am always curious as to whether people are childless through choice or bad luck. As a parent, I always feel for people desperate for children but unable to have them.