The 'cant afford a baby' generation?

seven-day-weekend

I've not read all the thread, but would like to add my two pennorth.

Yes, i do think it's a matter of priorities.

I can't speak personally about the situation with children, but we did have a similar thisng with our neighbour about our mortgage, which we paid off in the 1990s in our 40s.

He was always very accusingly saying things like 'oh of course, you have no mortgage have you', or 'well we can't afford that because we've got a mortgage' or various other remarks on the same theme.

Now bear in mind he and his wife earned more than us, and although their mortgage was higher than ours, their higher income woul cancel this out. What they did was shopped at Sainsburys instead of Aldi, bought brand name clothes and expensive furtniture and new cars, went on holiday for six weeks in the summer. They also borrowed extra on their mortgage. We bought our clothes from charity shops, our cars lasted until they died and we had a weeks holiday.

This meant we were able to overpay on the mortgage and therefore clear it off early.

I got fed up with him after a while and told him the mortgage money didn't fall out of the sky.

dora37

TotallyBroke wrote: »

I think that because I can't personally understand how someone would not want to. If you have other children under 5 then I can understand. But children are in school from 9am to 3pm that's six hours. Schools are now setting up breakfast clubs and afternoon clubs to do homework. So an 8hour day is possible. Why would any woman want to spend her day doing nothing after the housework has been done? I have a day off work and by 9am I'm bored shitless. There is only so much daytime tv that can be watched.

I am at home during the day and believe me, I do not watch daytime tv unless it is on in the kitchen, whilst working

This morning I dropped DD (7) at school - back for 9.05, then walked the dog, came back and prepared a casserole for tonights tea, sorted the washing out, cleaned out chickens, baked for tuck and have now sat down on the pc for 20 mins break. I am about to clean the kitchen sweep downstairs and hoover the rugs(daily) and then load the dishwasher.

I will then feed the guineas, make lunch for OH (who works from home), parcel up a package, if time do some ironing, then at 2.50, I will collect DD from school, drop her back at home and then return immediately for a governors meeting. When I return, I will put out the casserole, speak to DS1 (17) and DS2 (15) about their day. Will read to DD before bedtime and then do some more ironing or make bread AND THEN AT ABOUT 9PM I WILL SIT DOWN TO WATCH TV.

Tomorrow will be a little different as a girl is coming round to do my nails in the morning, however most days are just as busy - that is my choice and I do enjoy it and being available to attend school events or help out where necessary - however I am certainly NOT sat on my backside watching daytime TV - take about generalising!!!!!

IsoChick

I don't have kids, but if I have a day off work I'm so busy I don't sit down all day!! Daytime TV? I wish!

SandC

frivolous_fay wrote: »

Oh... here's another setback.
My company is in trouble and if it can't be sold it will bite the dust.
No redundancy money, no wages, no chance of maternity pay.
Who'll employ a 32 year old woman with no kids?
Fun fun!

Well that would be more to do with the current financial climate than anything to do with having no kids.

This is my second job taken while I was in my thirties, I got one when I was 31 and this one when I was 35. They didn't ask about my personal situation, nor should anyone at interview.

gymfiend

Just wanted to add my tuppence worth...

I'm in my 20's and though a couple of friends have babies, nobody in my immediate old group of friends does. I'm actively trying and would give my right arm for a baby. I work 24/7, and OH works full time. We have a mortgage, cars and holidays a few times a year. We're very lucky but we work very hard for it.

I would however swap my car and downgrade the holidays in a second if it meant I had a baby, and I'm sure my friends think this is madness. My OH feels the same, despite coming from a wealthy background [him not me] he has now come to realise however much cash was lavished on him, I feel far more loved and content with my average wealth family than he ever has or will. So love comes a million miles before cash

I really think it's just because society is changing, it's becoming more normal not to have kids out of choice and maybe that's not such a bad thing, I have a lot of friends who have felt really unloved by their parents and often wonder if their parents had been born in our generation, would they have bothered with kids?

In reponse to TotallyBroke - if I were a full time mum, when my kids went to school I'd like to think I'd still stay at home. There is always something to be done in the house, and I would love to be there for my kids whenever they needed me as my mother was for me when finances allowed. I would hate for them to be latch key kids, coming home to an empty house, why have kids if not to give them your all? Unfortunately I'm the breadwinner in this house so unlikely to happen but hey, I can dream!

SandC

IsoChick wrote: »

I don't have kids, but if I have a day off work I'm so busy I don't sit down all day!! Daytime TV? I wish!

I don't have kids either but if I have a day off work I don't even get dressed until after Loose Women. I transfer my carcus from the bed to the sofa and indulge in cruddy daytime telly cos it makes a real nice change (that and I haven't had a sick day in nearly 6 years so never get to do it then either).

seven-day-weekend

I stayed at home while my son was small, and even when he went to school got a part-time job with school holidays so I could be there if he needed me. I didn't go back full-time until he was 14.

My husband and myself decided on this before he was born. Neither of us wanted him to go into a nursery or with a childminder all day, just so that we could earn more money.

TotallyBroke

dora37 wrote: »

I am at home during the day and believe me, I do not watch daytime tv unless it is on in the kitchen, whilst working

This morning I dropped DD (7) at school - back for 9.05, then walked the dog, came back and prepared a casserole for tonights tea, sorted the washing out, cleaned out chickens, baked for tuck and have now sat down on the pc for 20 mins break. I am about to clean the kitchen sweep downstairs and hoover the rugs(daily) and then load the dishwasher.

I will then feed the guineas, make lunch for OH (who works from home), parcel up a package, if time do some ironing, then at 2.50, I will collect DD from school, drop her back at home and then return immediately for a governors meeting. When I return, I will put out the casserole, speak to DS1 (17) and DS2 (15) about their day. Will read to DD before bedtime and then do some more ironing or make bread AND THEN AT ABOUT 9PM I WILL SIT DOWN TO WATCH TV.

Tomorrow will be a little different as a girl is coming round to do my nails in the morning, however most days are just as busy - that is my choice and I do enjoy it and being available to attend school events or help out where necessary - however I am certainly NOT sat on my backside watching daytime TV - take about generalising!!!!!

I wasn't meaning to generalise. But I do some of that and hold down a full time job. So what I meant is that after a couple of hours house work what is there to do? That has to happen because you have children.
You personally, walk the dog, cleaned out the chickens. You then baked for tuck, fed the guinea pigs, fed OH, then you went to a Governors meeting and then you will make bread. So all of that takes up the rest of the day. But that is your choice. You do not have to do those things because you have children. You do them because you choose to have the dog, chickens, guinea pigs etc. There is not a parenting law that says you have to do those things. Like I don't know, changing a nappy on a regular basis would be something that had to be done. Your family choose for you to do these things while your children are at school. If your family is able to afford you doing this and not having a full time job as well then that is fine. But people like myself cannot. I cannot afford to give up because I need to live, I need to keep a roof over my head. Having my son does not cost me anymore than if I lived on my own. I would still have the outgoings (except the childcare).
So I say again Children do not cost that much to have. It's what we already have that costs due to what is available around us.

dora37

TotallyBroke wrote: »

I wasn't meaning to generalise. But I do some of that and hold down a full time job. So what I meant is that after a couple of hours house work what is there to do? That has to happen because you have children.
You personally, walk the dog, cleaned out the chickens. You then baked for tuck, fed the guinea pigs, fed OH, then you went to a Governors meeting and then you will make bread. So all of that takes up the rest of the day. But that is your choice. You do not have to do those things because you have children. You do them because you choose to have the dog, chickens, guinea pigs etc. There is not a parenting law that says you have to do those things. Like I don't know, changing a nappy on a regular basis would be something that had to be done. Your family choose for you to do these things while your children are at school. If your family is able to afford you doing this and not having a full time job as well then that is fine. But people like myself cannot. I cannot afford to give up because I need to live, I need to keep a roof over my head. Having my son does not cost me anymore than if I lived on my own. I would still have the outgoings (except the childcare).
So I say again Children do not cost that much to have. It's what we already have that costs due to what is available around us.

Exactly! The things we have (the animals), being a governor, attending assemblies/helping at school, cooking from scratch are all because of our children - a choice both me & OH made - however time is required to fulfill all these commitments

Whether people choose to work or not when they have children is their own individual choice, I only felt I should comment when you said:

"Why would any woman want to spend her day doing nothing after the housework has been done?"

And wanted to assure you that being at home doesn't necessarily mean there is nothing to do and that being at SAHM certainly doesn't equate to watching daytime TV.

TotallyBroke

dora37 wrote: »

Exactly! The things we have (the animals), being a governor, attending assemblies/helping at school, cooking from scratch are all because of our children - a choice both me & OH made - however time is required to fulfill all these commitments

Whether people choose to work or not when they have children is their own individual choice, I only felt I should comment when you said:

"Why would any woman want to spend her day doing nothing after the housework has been done?"

And wanted to assure you that being at home doesn't necessarily mean there is nothing to do and that being at SAHM certainly doesn't equate to watching daytime TV.

TotallyBroke wrote: »

Why would any woman want to spend her day doing nothing after the housework has been done? I have a day off work and by 9am I'm bored shitless. There is only so much daytime tv that can be watched.

But I based my question and my personal answer on my own life. My housework would be done by 9am. I'd be up at 6am as usual. So for me there are no other things that need doing.
I don't volunteer at the school as my son is not of school age. I do not have pets or livestock as they are not needed (or wanted) in my life. So for myself if I was not at work and my son was at school full time. I would either have to find things like you do to fill my day or I would be sat in front of the Tv.
If you have something in your life that can fulfill your day and you can afford to not work then that is fantastic.