Is it me?

Neeny82

I am also that lucky and while I agree that friendship is about more than presents and cards - I always WANT to get those things for my friends or show them that they mean something to me. Just yesterday I took a home-made lasagne round for my best pal, and got all her magazine's with a choccy bar left for me today from her!

I am inclined to feel even more shocked about your OP as it was a member of the wedding party who failed to give a card. I have been a bridesmaid 3 times in the past year and I felt it a true honour to have been asked to be part of the biggest day of someones lives! I wanted to get them a card and gift and actually felt thatthey had spoiled us too much with the presents and cards they provided for us!

VickyA_2

Speckled_Egg wrote: »

Thank you girls

I am lucky enough to have a circle of really lovely friends. I couldn't imagine not sending any of them at the very least a wedding card. I'd feel a right tightwad if I didn't. It's obviously the way I was brought up. I even write thank you cards. How old fashioned am I?!

It's not old fashioned, it's just good manners! Like you, I always write thank you cards/letters (another thing that DH's family doesn't do, but I have to grin and bear it.....) and send cards like no tomorrow to friends getting engaged/married/having a baby/birthday.... but DH is male and "just doesn't think" (I quote him). :rolleyes: However, some people just haven't been brought up like you and I (and other people on this thread with general good manners!).

dogcat_2

I would also feel a bit put out if I didn't get a card. A card means a lot to me and everyone that knows me knows that. It's a simple gesture that actually means quite a lot to some people!

whu

My wife and I have always given a card and present to the bride and groom at any wedding we have attended and we received the same at ours - I am not surprised that you feel hurt

jackomdj

Were the cards/presents on a table? Could it have fallen off??

I would be disapointed not to get a card but I would not dwell on it.

val_84

Hi Speckled Egg,

We are having a similar problem with my OH's friend. One of his best men got married the year before last and not only did we get them an engagement card, present, wedding card, wedding present plus money, My OH also paid to go abroad for his stag do, paintballing, meals out (they had a week long stag do)
We also had to pay for a hotel room for 2 nights as they moved away from us. They have since had a baby and we also got them a card and present for the baby.
My OH also recently visited them (we always have to go visit them as they can never make it up to us) for their birthdays and took cards for both and presents for both. While I understand that they are busy with the new baby we have quite clearly made a lot of effort for them and I couldnt care less about a present but we didnt even get an engagement card.
I would always much rather get a card as I think people can put a lot of effort into this and it is quite annoying that they havent bothered.

Anyway rant over, I try not to let it bother me but I just get a bit fed up that we are always making the effort with them and dont get anything back in return even though they are both teachers and get loads more time of than us.

I wish it didnt bother me and I dont want to seem petty but it just winds me up

Fourcandles_3

OMG I'm so sorry if I've upset my family like this.

I'm REALLY useless at sending cards. I do usually manage if it's a child but only because I rush to Tesco's on the way to the party. It's not that I don't care, it's just I'm so disorganised and have been known to deliver gifts and cards 2 years late:(

Really stupid thing is if I buy them early I either misplace them in my house or forget to take them. That's one advantage of wrapping them in the car in the carpark;)

jeski

I think its one of those things with weddings. When you hav been there and been through it (or are going through it), you find that small gestures like recieving a card as a memento outweigh big overblown gestures. I will be a little dissappointed if I don't recieve a card from my guests. Sure I'll have photo's to look back on, but a card with a nice sentiment in it is a lovely keepsake that will outlive the toasters and teatowels.

Speckled_Egg

I was beginning to think it was just me being hypersensitive. At least I know other people feel the same!

We didn't get cards from a few people so I did wonder if any had gone astray, however, the Best Man did say to my husband, "Oh yeah, I need to give you some cash for the present." Well, he didn't. It's not really the gift that I'm bothered about though!

The really funny thing is, we bought the Best Man a magazine subscription as a thank you for being BM. It took quite a while to arrive and he chased me to find out where it was. I didn't hear anything so I emailed him to check it had arrived. I don't think I would have even got a thank you if I hadn't!

Going forward, I thought I would write them a nice thank you letter for coming to the wedding, forget it, move on and forego giving any future cards and presents. What do you think?

Speckled_Egg

Some people are just useless, Fourcandles.

However, if I had 18 months notice and were at home with a baby all day I think I would be able to find 10 minutes to walk down to the Post Office to buy a card.