Is it me?

Speckled_Egg

Thanks for your advice guys.

Cards and presents are obviously a complete waste of time. What a shame I have only just found that out. Anyway, will save myself a fortune from now on.

Thank you!
:j

ladypinkof66

Speckled_Egg wrote: »

We got married at the end of last year. Our Best Man and his wife didn't give us a card or a present.

We've always been quite generous to them (bought cards and presents when they had their baby, when it was his Birthday, etc.) We even gave the Best Man a present at the wedding for being the Best Man.

Although this has grated a bit I have tried not to think about it too much. Anyway, a couple of days ago I got an email asking me to sponsor him for a charity event. I nearly flipped out! I've ignored the email but I have since written a card to say thank you for attending the wedding, being our Best Man, etc.

Have I done the right thing? What do you all think? I'm not so bothered about the present but I can't believe they couldn't even bothered to stop at the newsagents to buy us a piddly card for a quid. Being a typical bloke my husband really doesn't care about the whole thing so I'm loathe to mention it to him again.

I am one person who woud agree with you here - a card is a lovely gesture you can buy a cheap card nowadays for 50p the card is a memento to wish you good marriage wishes, if anyone attended my wedding and did not buy a card for me i too would feel like you do to OP you are not wrong in feeling this way i think to be honest you are one of a majority - No they might not buy a present but a card - who cant afford a card nowadays and men may not think about buying a card but most men have wives and girlfriends who would normally do the decent thing and send a card. So Op I am with you here, I would not sponsor the child either I would donate a small amount to a local charity

amylou161202

Oh no I feel awful now as myself and my future hubby are useless at sending cards so our friends often get forgotten. I would hate for them to hold a grudge against me for not sending a card thankfully they are all still on speaking terms with us as friendship means more

tenmah

Speckled Egg - I agree with you completely.

I would feel the same and I don't think people need to be so dismissive of your feelings when answering you.

Speckled_Egg

Thanks tenmah

It is important to me. I haven't shunned them just because they didn't give us a card. Contrary to what other people think, I'm not that shallow. I've been to a lot of weddings and have always given the bride and groom something even when I was at uni and didn't have a lot of money. I did it because I thought it was etiquette.

Lesson learnt - I give will cards and presents to the people who appreciate it and money to the charities that matter to me.

ladypinkof66

Speckled_Egg wrote: »

Thanks tenmah

It is important to me. I haven't shunned them just because they didn't give us a card. Contrary to what other people think, I'm not that shallow. I've been to a lot of weddings and have always given the bride and groom something even when I was at uni and didn't have a lot of money. I did it because I thought it was etiquette.

Lesson learnt - I give will cards and presents to the people who appreciate it and money to the charities that matter to me.

yes i agree with you too i was brought up to do the same i think it is common courtesy to give a card and small gift at a wedding how ever small it is.

VfM4meplse

Speckled_Egg wrote: »

Lesson learnt - I give will cards and presents to the people who appreciate it and money to the charities that matter to me.

I dismiss the idea that sponsorship encourages charity. All it does is attempts to shame people into giving in exchange for a sacrifice no-one asked fpr in the frst place.

It's far better to give to charity because you want to and not because you think you have to, support causes close to your own heart. Also this way you get a receipt and can claim the gift aid.

Neeny82

I also agree with you! I know each to their own and all that but I personally would never attend a wedding or any event without a card or token gift. I would feel cheeky. This is not about money spent - I agree that people spend a lot of money to attend weddings etc but again cards can cost very little these days and I would prefer for the couple to know that I have felt happy to be invited and appreciated being there as part of their day. It's a personal opinion but I feel it would be bad manners, similar to people not saying thank you after receiving a gift.

shop-to-drop

Talking of sponsership. I always check with things like parachute jump if all the money is going to the charity as often people just use sponsership as a way for others to pay the costs for something they have wanted to do. Many people only give the charity the money raised over and above the costs involved. Bloody cheek if they have an ambition to do a parachute jump they should pay for it themselves.

Speckled_Egg

Thank you girls

I am lucky enough to have a circle of really lovely friends. I couldn't imagine not sending any of them at the very least a wedding card. I'd feel a right tightwad if I didn't. It's obviously the way I was brought up. I even write thank you cards. How old fashioned am I?!