getting married - low key and really cheap

nearlyrich

cheekymole wrote:

wow, nearlyrich good for you, did you plan it before you went or was it just spur of the moment whilst there?

We decided we wanted to get married but didn't want a fuss, 2nd time for both of us and there was no way we could please everyone.

We were going on the holiday, DH wrote to the relevant authority in NO to find out what we needed to do. We just went along and did the deed with the court staff as witnesses, my 2 children were with us and they were allowed to sign the certificate but as they were under 16 they couldn't be the "official" witnesses.

We just came back and told everyone we were married, still get the odd jibe about missing out on the party but they all got over it. Also we didn't have lot's of presents we didn't need as we both had more than enough stuff already.

We said we would go back for our 10th anniversary in 2008 so hopefully they will have restored the city to it's former glory.:)

Toon

I'm getting married in 3 weeks. I wanted it as low key as you do but she wanted something extra. We've paid for the registry office, she's paid about £300 for a dress, I've paid £100 on a suit. I would have been happy with that. But no - she wants to invite the whole family (and then some) to a night do. So £50 for the hall, £50 for the DJ, £90 for the cake, £15 for the cake stand, £300 for catering, £30 on bridesmaid dress, £20 on favours, £10 on a tiara, £20 on shoes, £20 on our sons suit, £30 for waitresses, £5 on invites, god knows how much on phone calls arranging everything and I'm sure all of the other bits and bobs add up to another couple of hundred. Jees - and you wonder why I'm a member of this forum!

mirandamayhem

we had a party in a pub jan 3rd two years ago. my sister bought xmas lights and some suitable xmas decorations cheap to decorate the pub, and noone was offended at having to buy their own drinks. the buffet was lovely and done by a family friend so good value. our siblings paid for dj as our wedding present.
it was a fantastic night.

margaretclare

Toon wrote:

I'm getting married in 3 weeks. I wanted it as low key as you do but she wanted something extra. We've paid for the registry office, she's paid about £300 for a dress, I've paid £100 on a suit. I would have been happy with that. But no - she wants to invite the whole family (and then some) to a night do. So £50 for the hall, £50 for the DJ, £90 for the cake, £15 for the cake stand, £300 for catering, £30 on bridesmaid dress, £20 on favours, £10 on a tiara, £20 on shoes, £20 on our sons suit, £30 for waitresses, £5 on invites, god knows how much on phone calls arranging everything and I'm sure all of the other bits and bobs add up to another couple of hundred. .....you wonder why I'm a member of this forum!

When we got married 4 years ago the original idea was to have it as quiet as possible. Our minister said 'you can have it as quiet as a mouse, my dear!' It would have involved only 5 people present - the bride and groom, the minister, and 2 friends as witnesses. We would still have had to pay £30 each to the local registrar to 'notify our intention to marry' even though our church doesn't charge anything to marry church members.

So in theory, this could have been the cheapest wedding of all, we didn't need any new clothes, the only cost we HAD to have was the £60 to the registrar.

Only I couldn't do it that way. Although I was 66, I couldn't get married without some flowers and some music. And when we told people, some of them said they wanted to come. And the people who helped us i.e. with preparing the church, the flowers, playing the CD etc...we wanted to give them something back so we arranged a lunch party at a local pub/restaurant - 18 of us sat down. And as it was January, I wanted something warm to wear, so I had a long velvet dress made by a bridal dressmaker (terrible memories of a first wedding in February years ago with snowflakes slipping down my cleavage and the wind taking the veil off my head!!!) And then I asked a friend to be matron-of-honour, and had another similar dress made for her (old gold, mine was moss-green).

So these things do tend to creep up on you a bit! What with a 3-night honeymoon in a 200-year old pub in the Cotswolds, the total cost was just short of £1K.

NB: As we'd only recently come back from a 'big trip' to North America, where B had had his ear bent about getting married by 3 different friends or relatives, we needn't really have had a honeymoon. But in his previous 2 marriages, and my one, neither of us had ever had a honeymoon before. So the 3 nights in the Cotswolds was very special.

Aunty Margaret

Alleycat

We are yet to tie the knot, but I heard of a couple who treated their guests to a fish and chip supper bought from the chip van down the road! A choice of either fingers or those little wooden forks, a couple of jars of pickled onions and gerkins and some wet wipe sachets.

I think that is an absolutely fab way of doing it. My sister got married a few years ago and had the works, ridiculously expensive dress, hotel, full on sit down meal etc and she said she was soo stressed both before and during, plus pretty broke afterwards.

If you want a 'proper' dress, loads of charity shops sell them these days. They even have the mother of the bride outfits, lovely women's suits and bridesmaids dresses. I don't think I would ever buy a dress new unless it was really cheap in the sales. I would either hire one for the day or buy one second hand. I do want the white dress and one bridesmaid (my daughter!) when we do it. We would probably do a buffet as well, as I find this is a nice way of giving the guests and yourselves time to mix, not too regimental and the best, is a lot cheaper than a sit down meal.

jobbingmusician

OK, here's a selection of ideas for the cheapest deal I can imagine.

Most pubs will have a room you can hire - they will normally give you this free if people are buying drinks, subject to a minimum spend. I imagine that the word 'wedding' will make the publican's eyes glaze over and they won't even mention a min spend, as they will know everyone will want a good time :beer: You are then in a strong position to negotiate about food (see below).

Personally I would prefer not to have a reception in a pub (my teetotal upbringing still affects me - hic!) so would be looking out for nice affordable local rooms (local to wherever you are getting married, that is). Ring your local voluntary services agency (Council for Vol Svcs in most boroughs) and ask them about nice cheap places to hire - they will probably know. Some councils/boroughs have little-known venues, like small 'country houses' which they've acquired over the years - these are sometimes very beautiful!

You mention asking people to pay for their own booze and providing a buffet. I would be tempted to do the opposite! Ask people to bring food towards a shared wedding breakfast, and provide booze. You can do this EXTREMELY cheaply if you shop around (remember the wonderful Tesco wine for £2 or less a bottle at Christmas? :T ) If you really want the ultra-cheapest and most fun day, make your own wine! (I'm really surprised I've never seen threads about this on this board). Some wines are really sure-fire, and they seem to come out really strong, so that people will have an excellent time!!! (And I find that HM wines tend NOT to give me a hangover - I'm sure most hangovers are caused by additives in commercial wines).

I really think that most friends would LOVE to contribute to a shared wedding brekkie - in fact if they are anything like my friends (I know I'm really lucky) you'll probably find they organise you something REALLY special AND enjoy doing it!! :j And it really makes them feel like part of your married 'family'

finc

Ours was a cheapo do about £1K but it was meant to be much cheaper. Unfortunately it was easier to give in to some hints/demands than to stand our ground and fall out with people.

It was in a register office but it was set in an old country style house so not too official looking and then we all went to a nearby restaurant were we had our own room and courtyard. Everyone had a choice of starters, mains and dessert with drinks on entry, wine with the meal, sparkly stuff for the toast and coffee for £7 a head!! Better than forcing everyone to eat prawn cocktail whether they like it or not

We didn't bother with a night do to keep costs down, plus we had a hotel room booked and I wasn't paying for others to carry on the party without me

My dress was £300 from BHS but the strap broke while I was waiting to go the Register Office so did a quick fix-up job on it then took it back after the wedding and got my money back and £25 compensation :T .

We booked a car for the day which we weren't going to do but this was only about £40 ish. Some places will give cheaper rates if you leave it as a late booking, means you don't have as much choice though.

If I was doing it again (which obviously I'm not ) I would just scoot off somewhere and get on with it then no-one can try to guilt trip you into anything more.

Good luck.

scooper

we are looking to get married abroad next year on the ''cheapish'' end,we ahve 2 small children so dont want to spend a fortune on the wedding,plus i personally feel you have it how you want to have it and if your happy then its perfect

gixxerchick_2

We are getting married in July and have done everything as cheaply as pos, the only thing bought new are my shoes. we are having a registry office and have hired a room at a social club for the night £70, not bad as there is a seperate room for you to lay out your food, also doing own catering, using oh dad's car as wedding car, my dress cost me £50, it was an ex sample dress so fantastic bargain, tiara for £5, we want to keep it simple and not a lot of fuss and that's what we have done, think it's cost about £600 for everything, not bad considering one of my friends paid that amount just for her dress.

Lillibet_2

Toon wrote:

I'm getting married in 3 weeks. I wanted it as low key as you do but she wanted something extra. We've paid for the registry office, she's paid about £300 for a dress, I've paid £100 on a suit. I would have been happy with that. But no - she wants to invite the whole family (and then some) to a night do. So £50 for the hall, £50 for the DJ, £90 for the cake, £15 for the cake stand, £300 for catering, £30 on bridesmaid dress, £20 on favours, £10 on a tiara, £20 on shoes, £20 on our sons suit, £30 for waitresses, £5 on invites, god knows how much on phone calls arranging everything and I'm sure all of the other bits and bobs add up to another couple of hundred. Jees - and you wonder why I'm a member of this forum!

Crikey, thats still under £1200 for a nice wedding with guests, it cost me 6 times that for my first "small" wedding 10 years ago!!!! It doesn't just have to be about saving money, it should be the day of your dreams too & soemthing to rememebr & if this is how you'll enjoy the memories then sounds like a serious bargain too me:D