getting married - low key and really cheap

blue-kat

hoep it's Ok to start a new marriage thread. I wasn't sure that this would fit under the wedding thread at the top.
I'd be interested to hear if any tips for getting married on the cheap :rolleyes:.

We've been together for 20 years and neither of us would enjoy a big do with posh frocks, favours, wedding presents etc.
we'd like to do it low-key, but not so low-key that it's nothing IYSWIM.
the whole thing has to be very disability friendly.

we're thinking of just going to the registery office, son to be a witness.

Not sure about what to do afterwards,
maybe go to a pub for a drink with few friends.
is it too mean to make people get their own drinks etc if we pay the buffet?

It'd be cheaper to have people back to the house, but I don't want the effort as it will be our eldest's 18th this summer and he will prob have a big party here.

Really don't want a 'small do' to spiral out of control into something big and scary. One definate: we're not inviting rellies. Nothing against them, just that most of them are elderly and it seems a sure fire way of escalating it into a big do.
TIA
-

inkie

I don't think that it is mean at all to get people to pay for their drinks afterwards - i have never been to a wedding yet where there was a free bar. After all, it's an oppertunity to share this day with you - the focus of it isn't the bar at the reception!

Are you sure that you want a civil ceremony - there are lots of churches that would be able to accomodate your wishes - in relation to being low key - disabled friendly etc...and you don't have to have all the 'trimmings of hymns etc' if you don't want - and could work out cheaper than the registry office.

When we got married 14 years ago - gosh is it that long??! It came in at less than £500 all in - and you wouldn't have been able to tell the difference if we had spend ten times that.

Stick to your guns, if people get offended then tough - it's your day, and if you can't choose what to do then, then when can you.

HTH

angeluk69_2

My wedding was as simple as it got... total cost to us £250 ish?

1st, booked the date at registry office £30 each (£60 Total)
2nd I wore Bridesmaid dress from BHS Should have been £200 got for £95!!!
... O/h wore suit from next Sale Should have been £150 got for £79!!!
... Got to registry office and didn't have £37.50 to get wed so I ran outside and did a collection amoung the guests!!!!!
... Had a great family meal paid for by family
...My ring cost £32, hubby's was his late fathers ring
... Went to pub at night and got drunk


Short and sweet, but it was still the best day ever and like I say it does not need to cost the earth. We got married 4 years ago.

Zziggi

Registry office was £97.50 i think in total. Just went straight in, said the legal part of the vows, signed register and straight out. We specifically said we didn't want even the registry frills. The whole thing took 5 minutes maximum. We didn't have rings as we both didn't want them. OH wore a suit he already had. I did buy a lady's suit simply because i didn't have one and by chance i saw one in the sale (was £50ish) that week otherwise i would have worn a dress i already had. Daugher had a dress i got in the sale from BHS, son had shorts & shirt i bought form tescos (with coupons). I did have about 18 guests that were close family. We then went to a local restaurant for a meal. This was a late edition to really satisfy the relatives. It was basically a family meal. This was about £300 but we were not intending to do this originally. One guest did bring a wedding cake they had had made - otherwise we wouldn't have bothered. Mum & Dad then had guests back to her house with nibbles to eat. We didn't actually go - we went home with the kids. By then we felt we'd accommodated the relatives wishes enough in our wedding!

You can have it very low-key. It's what *you* want. We intially were going to just go with 2 witnesses but allowed it to grow a little just to keep close family happy but was still extremely low key.

BTW my OH has some mobility problems. Registry offices are usually have ramps etc etc. We asked to sit down to do the vows as we told them my OH couldn't stand up for long. Restraunts are generally disabled friendly now.

When we had a registry office "do" we'd been together 11 years, had a religious ceremony to marry us 8 years previous, had 3 kids together and were only having the legal ceremony to "legalise" it in the UK. Seemed a waste of time to spend too much money on the whole day. A wedding is just one day a marriage is (hopefully) for life. I can;t see why people spend thousands on a wedding. But i guess each to their own!!

maizie_moo

I got married just 6 months ago, after 12 years together. We were adamant that we wouldn't spend a lot. Used a nice summery dress I had worn for the previous years' Xmas party and added a sequined cape from Debenhams sale. Told NOBODY except son & daughter who were witnesses at registry office. Back to our house where I had done a buffet the night before, (mainly Morrisons). Son & daughter took photo's which I printed off the computer. Spent the afternoon in the garden with drinks and thoroughly enjoyed it. I think it was better than going for a meal where everything is more "formal". I wouldn't have changed ANYTHING. So don't worry about doing your wedding on a budget and most imprtantly ENJOY YOUR DAY. Good luck!

suki1964

We done low key and dead cheap two years ago. We wanted just us and his brother and wife and my sister and kids but a few more friends sort of made it clear they wanted to clebrate as well - hints of stag and hen nights (worse nightmare) so decided to have a lunch in the garden.

For 40 people it came to about £150. I bought lager and wine only cheap from makro. Food I ordered from waitrose, big bowls of salads, some quiches, a salmon and desserts(all came in serving dishes an hour before leaving for the registry office) Got things like bread and cheeses, pates to stretch it out. Tables and chairs I borrowed and to decorate I got balloons and ribbons of ebay and got a helium cannister. Music I done a couple of mp3 disks.

The only other expense was a frock and sandals for me and flowers. Frock and sandals are still being worn and the flowers were silk which I paid a pittence for from ebay

Having a "lunch" with wine only solved the big drink bill problem as most people dont sit around wanting to get legless mid afternoon It was a great day, special but informal

cheekymole

We had a great cheap wedding too. Cost no more than £300 and we had a great time, no boring speaches just loads of fun.
Got married int he registry office, had a pub grub with 10 other family and friends who paid for their own drinks and then went to another pub and got drunk on other people's expense.
What a great day and no money wasted.

Paying more tha £300 for a wedding, what's that all about then?

nearlyrich

We got married in New Orleans on a trip I won at work it cost $25 for the wedding and we got maried in our shorts then went to McD's for a milkshake to celebrate followed by a dinner on a paddle cruiser.

cheekymole

wow, nearlyrich good for you, did you plan it before you went or was it just spur of the moment whilst there?

twink

i know it sounds cheeky but could you do a bring your own bottle! a friend had a party and said it was a great success because the men werent at the bar all night!!

Lillibet_2

We did low key, 2 friends (sworn to secreacy & only told 3 weeks before hand) as witnesses who also took loads of photos (if you take enough you're bound to get some good ones), £97.50 for the registry office which was beautiful, £15 for a new shirt for hubby which he wore with an existing pair of trousers (no suit or tie), I did splash out on a new outfit knowing that I could get lots of wear out of it afterwards. A week before I ordered a £25 bouquet of flowers in a bubble from the florist, didn't tell them it was for a wedding just picked it up the day before & on the morning took it out of the bubble & tied a ribbon around it. We had the simplest cermony the registar offered but we did take our own choice of music along to be palyed through out which kept it simple but personal. Took our witnesses to the pub for a big lunch & a drink afterwards which cost about £80. Took ourselves off to the theater in the evening. Went off on "holiday" the next day & posted the wedding announcments to unknowing relatives on the way to the airport;) Too late for them to build it up into something we didn't want or make a fuss & no point them being unhappy about it 'cos it was all over & done with. If we had invited more people we would have just bought the first round of drinks at the pub & maybe asked the pub to provide a small set menu & set aside a table for us in the garden/resteraunt rather than book a room with a buffet etc etc as I swear buffets end up costing as much as a simple 2 course meal.

HTH & Good luck

PS : Nearly Rich : We were already marreid by the time we visited New Orleans but wish we had done it there, was beautiful (at least until last year:eek:)