Am I being unfair?

Turning_into_scrooge

MajorR wrote:

I would say that you are being alittle unfair, she lost through no fault of her own so it's not as if she's a no good lay about. As someone who's been made redundant twice i can tell you its like a slap in the face when it happens and any hard work that you've done amounts to zero over night.
At aged 19 there's plenty of time for her to get bogged down with the drudgery of work and for close to minimum wage too i bet. Cut her some slack, if/when theres no money to go round tell her so and eventully she'll get a job off her own back to have some money of her own because she doesnt sound like a lazy teenager to me, just someone who's been unlucky. My Dad was out of work for 9 months before he found something and your daughter lost her job in Jan!. And as for signing on i wouldnt bother personally as you dont get alot and its not worth the hassle.

She is entitled to sign on. She is an adult in the eyes of the law, why should her mother provide everything even money for nights out when she cannot be bothered to sign on??? You want to try being a single parent in this situation, i for one have been there!

Spendless

gravitytolls wrote:

Did you see the episode of Malcolm in The Middle on Sky 1 tonight?

Reece refused to get a job, aged 19 coincidentally. His mother took away soap, loo roll, locked the fridge and cupboard, and removed sheets, didn't wash his things etc.

Basically, until he got a job and started contributing, he didn't have a right to existence within the household community.

He tried to get smart by putting a large box on the lawn to live in, and starting a fire in a metal bin for warmth. She told him to move it closer to the garage where it wouldn't get blown so mcuh by th ewind.

Just a thought.

Did your own 19 year old see the programme too;)

arrowsmith

If she doesn't want to visit the job centre then look at the alternatives.

How about you send her to the careers centre (connexions as they're now called). They don't have jobs, they advise, set goals and tell people courses and ways that they can get places. They also do computerised tests to see the jobs your daughter would like and what she would be good at.

Instead of watching TV all day she could go on an art, computer or some other course and get some qualifications (she might actually enjoy it and meet new people).

fruityslh

I've been made redundant twice, on the first occassion I went to the job centre, took one look at the forms that you have to fill in, could not be bothered with the hassle and the time that it would take to come through, I needed cash faster than that. Went to the local job agencies registered, said I'd take anything, started jobs following Monday morning, for double what you could get from the DSS. Ok they were not what I would have preferred to do, but it was work, kept me on the straight and narrow, and meant I had no gaps in my CV and could look around for something I fancied doing.

Another option is she really doesn't want to go to the jobcentre

hilstep2000

Update on what's happening! She went to the jobcentre yesterday (Boyfriend took her) they got there early, and were seen in 5 minutes. Apparently, you phone up to register these days, so she came ome and telephoned, they asked all sorts of weird questions, like "Have you had a baby in the last 48 hours?" and "Do you live in a house on wheels?"! anyway, it's all coming by post now.
We're still waiting for Next to get back to us, (fingers crossed) and she has appled for others.
Thanks to everyone for their comments, they really helped keep up my spirits!

maxamos

When I lost my job I went and signed on at a few employment agencies.
I didn't have any experience of office work before and initially the jobs I got were quite mundane, but I stook to it and now I'm employed full time earning £20k+ in a job I really enjoy.

It's always worth a look as if you don't like a job they give you you can allways tell them and get them to offer you something else. HTH

bluezone

You are def not being too hard on your daughter. IMO she needs a swift kick up the butt !
Any job is a job. Take me for example - I needed and still need money so I have got 3 jobs 1 full time and 2 part time. Shop work, pub work - most things are there if you look hard enough.

She sounds in denial thinking that her dream job is there saying "well we will just wait for caroline to apply".

Dont give in to emotional blackmail - believe me I was good at that when I was at home! STand your ground.

Good luck x

mrs_lds

Your daughter needs to be more positive. The world is her oyster, life is what you make it.She can become anything she wants to be but has to put the effort in herself and realise her potential.You are not being too hard. I sent my daughter out at 14 for a saturday job and believe me this has payed dividends. She has grasped the work ethic is off to,uni in American in september with the help hopefully of a scholarship and her savings and a loan from us parents.

HTH

Contains_Mild_Peril

us,thecat&thedebt wrote:

when you sign on you are expected to have a job interview per week so she isnt trying hard enough...

A job interview a week? Are interviews unusually easy to get in your area? I've probably only had about one interview for every 30-40 applications, which is quite normal where I am. We do have a lot of unemployed shop assistants round here atm though, since the giant new Tesco has forced other shops out of business. (We tried to tell the Council that would happen, but they didn't listen and gave Tesco planning permission, and now they're acting surprised at the impact it's had).
Anyway, I'm glad to hear hilstep's daughter has finally got her backside down to the job centre. I know it seems a lot of hassle to go through, but her snobbery is the most pathetic excuse I've ever heard! Good luck to her in getting a job.

Savvy_Sue

hilstep2000 wrote:

they asked all sorts of weird questions, like "Have you had a baby in the last 48 hours?" and "Do you live in a house on wheels?"!

:rotfl: As if you'd be phoning the job centre within 48 hours of having a baby!

Glad she's got things moving, hopefully with support from you and her b/f she'll soon find something constructive and financially rewarding to do with her time!