Boyfriends parents house a tip

Kerriebaby

I dated a guy a few years back, his parents were lovely, but their house was a TIP!

Most rooms ( except his bedroom ) caked in dirt/dust, empty boxes/bottles/packets everywhere, light switches were gross and I used the loo. Once.

Im not the tidest person in the world, I do like clutter, but there is a fine line between that and just plain laziness!

celyn90

lexilex wrote: »

I bet I sound like the daughter-in-law from hell :rotfl: I have tried helping and cleaning up though it's just such a waste of time.

No you don't - you sound like a sweet and considerate person who's asking for advice as to how to reach a compromise. You've tried to stay there despite your feelings, you've tried to help tidy up and you aren't expecting it to be spotless - and to me you seem like the only one making any effort. I would have a word with your boyfriend to be honest and tell him how you feel and ask him how he thinks you all could make the situation better. Mess is fine, but I would be worrying about his mum's health living in such squallor.

My OH's family are the same, although it's clutter rather than dirt. I'm no neat freak and I'm certainly not the world's tidiest person, nor do I expect places to be anwhere near pristine, but the house has walls of boxes full of rubbish and piles of stuff taller than me. You can't go down some of the corridors without edging through and turning sideways. OH's dad rescues things from the neighbours recycling in case they come in useful, newspapers, magazines, you name it and also goes mental if you try to chuck anything out. OH hates visiting and I hate the seeing effect all the rubbish has on his mum and sister who just don't have the strength to fight it anymore.

Pollycat

lexilex
one thing you might need to consider:
if this guy has been your boyfriend for 3 years, it's obviously a serious relationship.
Although you say your b/f doesn't like the state his parents' house is in, if you move in together, will your (admitted) OCD cause problems between you?

lexilex

Pollycat wrote: »

lexilex
one thing you might need to consider:
if this guy has been your boyfriend for 3 years, it's obviously a serious relationship.
Although you say your b/f doesn't like the state his parents' house is in, if you move in together, will your (admitted) OCD cause problems between you?

He just let's me get on with it, he's pretty tidy himself anyway. When we've been on holiday and I clean the plates and stuff before using them (they always smell so fusty!) he just laughs at me. We do pretty much live together anyway, but at my parents house.

I'm quite shocked at how many people are saying similar things about their OHs/their parents houses. I thought I was just picky :rotfl:

OrkneyStar

lexilex wrote: »

How do you mean?

My parents house is pristine too, which is why I think it shocks me so much. My mum gets up at 5am to tidy up before she goes to work then cleans again when she gets home. I suppose it's just what I've become used to.

Surely there is more to life ? This seems far too excessive for me.
I think you have to strike a balance.
You sound very very clean and his family sounds very very, well, unclean in housekeeping terms anyway.
Would it kill you to stay there the odd night though ? You wouldn't need to have a bath there, if the bathroom is that bad, if you washed the day before and after.
I think you have to remember that despite their obvious faults, this is your OH's family and he cares about them.
I do think you should be honest too though, if you and OH ever live together long term I think you will have too be a bit more realistic about levels of cleanliness (esp if you have kids)- clean yes, fairly tidy yes, pristine- to me that just says control freak! I have learnt the hard way as I loved a clean house (mum was a cleaner but ours was just 'normal clean') but now realise that there is more to focus on- like living!
I hope you sort it out.

madmuppet5

After washing my plates and cutlery I always pour scolding hot water on them to give them a steam clean. They dry in seconds and save you having to use a teatowel

lexilex

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Surely there is more to life ? This seems far too excessive for me.

Definetley! She's always been the same though and nothing is going to change her.

poppyolivia

lexilex wrote: »

He just let's me get on with it, he's pretty tidy himself anyway. When we've been on holiday and I clean the plates and stuff before using them (they always smell so fusty!)

Thats normal I clean them too, there is no way I'd eat off them without doing that, same with the kettle...in fact I usually don't bother using it!....I sometimes take my own plates and a glass..just for me, the family use the stuff already there!:rotfl:

I always wonder if people have peed in the kettle

OrkneyStar

lexilex wrote: »

Definetley! She's always been the same though and nothing is going to change her.

What I mean is that you referred to your mums way of doing things as what you were used to. I just hope that you don't let cleaning become such a big part of your life, as life is too short.

lexilex

poppyolivia wrote: »

Thats normal I clean them too, there is no way I'd eat off them without doing that, same with the kettle...in fact I usually don't bother using it!....I sometimes take my own plates and a glass..just for me, the family use the stuff already there!:rotfl:

I always wonder if people have peed in the kettle

Eugh imagine!! I took plastic cutlery with me on my last holiday, platic tubs and bought some plastic cups

OrkneyStar, no way! We're always taking the mick out of my mum because she is so over the top, bless her.