Boyfriends parents house a tip

lynzpower

lexilex wrote: »

Yeah maybe I should just tell him how I feel. I just don't want his mum to hate me I'm sure she already blames me because my boyfriend stays at my house a lot and she doesn't see him very often.

We're only young, but there is absoloutley no way if we had kids that I would take them there. Even if we're just visiting I have to dodge around clothes/catalogues/rubbish to find the couch.

I know part of it is my problem been so obsessed with things been clean, some people would probably think it was fine

Why do YOU think the house is such a tip?

lexilex

lynzpower wrote: »

Why do YOU think the house is such a tip?

How do you mean?

My parents house is pristine too, which is why I think it shocks me so much. My mum gets up at 5am to tidy up before she goes to work then cleans again when she gets home. I suppose it's just what I've become used to.

Buttonmoons

I won't stay at OH's parents house either because it's so dirty. He says it's just untidy but it's pretty unpleasant.

They have a massive old house with too many rooms, so I can understand now they are getting on a bit they can't keep every room dust free, but there is clutter EVERYWHERE, his dad is a hoarder, one time we decided to clear out one of the many upstair bedrooms that was full of rubbish, he stopped us on the way down the stairs with (LITERALLY!) mouldy cushions and told us to put them back cause he needed them for something.....

I once cleaned OH's mums kitchen top to toe, and I found food from 04' in the back of the fridge, and this was the year 07'. I think a whole new species was growing in that yoghurt pot. Ewwwww.

I really like it when she comes to mine and tells me I should have a cleaning rota, lol, last time I checked my bathroom tiles wasn't growing fungus, unlike hers.

Don't think there is much you can do though, OH knows his parents house is a mess, but there isn't a way to tell them without hurting someones feelings.

Mutter_2

Don't eat anything there. Take your own mug for tea etc.
Take a fresh pillowcase over there each time.

I heard something similar recently. Barn conversion, Bentley outside.
Inside was putrid. 3 dogs allowed to poop throughout the property. Dog hair inch deep and apparently the smell was something from beyond.
Why?

archie9uk

One of my best friends has a really messy dirty house, and eventually I just had to tell her that the mess really bothers me. She loves cooking and often invites friends round for food. She is a good cook, but I always worry that she doesn't wash things up properly or clean surfaces. I have even seen her accidentally drop a bit of food out of a pan onto the floor and then pick it up and put it back! :eek:

My house is far from tidy, but hers is terrible. Even though she knows you are coming round, she still leaves mountains of stuff on all the chairs and sofa, so there is nowhere to sit and I worry she is going to tell me off for moving stuff in case she loses something! I also worry about taking my dog round there in case she eats something old and nasty from the floor and makes herself ill. When we have kids there is no way I will be able to take them there. The issue is bound to raise its head again at that point, because I will have to put my foot down and say I will not take my children to her house. When I told her last time, she said that it wouldn't be so bad as last time. I persisted, and then she hung up on me. A couple of weeks later she rang me like nothing had happened. Needless to say, the next time we went round the place was still a horrific tip.

You should probably mention something, for your own peace of mind, but I suspect that the mess will stay pretty much the same whatever you say. It is what they are used to, and they won't see it in the same way as other people. Their idea of "cleaning" is probably not the same as yours. My friend says that although her house is messy she always has a clean kitchen and bathroom - I beg to differ...

Bettyboop

Hi, I haven't read all the replies but perhaps they could be ideal contestants for the Kim and Aggie show? You could enter them and as these ladies do such a lovely job with a team of professional cleaners your boyfriends mum may keep the place that way making it a bit more tolerable for you to stay over. Failing that you could say you have had some problems, been to the doctor and it turns out you have an allergy to cats.

But if your boyfriend wants to help her out here are some tips:

http://www.channel4.com/4homes/on-tv/how-clean-is-your-house/.

Good luck. If it gets sorted you could always post a photo : )

lexilex

Toots wrote: »

That's a good question lynzpower.

I wonder if they have just become overwhelmed and if someone was to put it all shipshape they could then cope with keeping it clean and tidy.

To be honest I think a lot of it's laziness. His mum's said herself she is just a messy person. It's obviously her choice to be like that, nothing to do with me at all, it's just when I'm asked to stay there... I can deal with it when visiting but staying overnight, having to get a bath in a dirty bathroom. It's so bad I have to put socks on before my feet touch the floor when I get out the bathroom.

Last time his mum went on holiday I cleaned the kitchen for her getting back, it was spotless, within a week of her been back it was exactly how it was before I did it. I cleaned their bathroom last week, his mum's back off her holidays tomorrow and I suspect by the weekend it will be back to been a tip.

I hope I don't come across as a !!!!!

I forgot to mention, the thing that has made me not want to stop over at all. Last week we were in bed, the dog came in and was laying on the bed with us (something I wouldn't have personally but hey personal choice) and she was absoloutly riddled with fleas. I know at this time of year loads of animals get fleas, but it was the fact his mum already knew she had them yet still had them sleeping in the beds!

omelette451

lexilex wrote: »

Well that's what I'm saying, I don't want to offend them.

He does stay at mine, pretty much every night, but occasionally he does ask me to stay there and I don't know how to say no I don't want to without offending them. He wants to know why I don't want to.

I can understand your not wanting to offend his parents, but you shouldn't hide it from him as it's likely to cause trouble at some point. Call me a cynic if you want but I think if you're in a relationship you should be honest and open about everything.

I understand your predicament though. My ex's house was a complete tip, with stuff everywhere and hardly room to move about, while my mum prefers our house to be clean and tidy as much as possible. Having said that, I didn't have a problem with it as their house was small and cosy and actually quite suited having that amount of crap crammed into it, and I just took it as part of the deal. She hated the tidyness of my house, but didn't ever let it stop her coming round. Unless it's growing mould I think you just have to put up with it. If you need a nice thought to help you through it, it's likely his family genes are more resistant to disease than yours (it's often told how 'clean-freaks' have weaker immune systems than people who are more relaxed about it), so any children you ever have are likely to be stronger...

LittleTinker

Some people just think that there is more to life than fretting about dust and tidiness.....although pure filth is a different matter altogether and I can sympathise totally.

My OH mum was the same......first time I went there I was ill and I am sure it was from the filth in her home.

I am not a clean freak....far far from it as I do think healthy dirt is good for us.....but that took the biscuit. If I were a clean freak, I would imagine I would have been more severley ill.

Her dog 'went' in the corner and trampled in it, so then obviously he was then jumping up on sofas and tables......Yuk!

She hadnt cleaned his water bowl out in ages and it had a line of limescale encrusted round the top of it!!

Food in cupboards from the 70's. Food in the freezer from years ago. So many cosmetics and shampoos littered everywhere, some full, some not.....it was just horrible.

Im not easily shocked, but that was bad!

Oh....I nearly forgot my reason for posting.

There is no point saying anything because it probably doesnt matter to them at all. So best thing to do is either put up with it on the occasions you go there or dont go there. But if they do ask you why you dont visit....dont lie. Tell the truth nicely.

lexilex

Like I said in the OP, mess is not a problem, you should see my own room right now, handbags everywhere it's when it gets to the point of been dirty.

They've recently got a dog, she's still a puppy and very easily excited. Whenever my boyfriend walks in the door she wee's everywhere, it's just soaked up with kitchen roll, not wiped with any sort of cleaner. Yuk yuk yuk.

I bet I sound like the daughter-in-law from hell :rotfl: I have tried helping and cleaning up though it's just such a waste of time.